Hi there. I´m an Arab girl, and I´d like to ask about getting married to a Turkish guy. How do you do it there? Is it allowed to get married to a foreign girl? And does it cost an arm and a leg? I mean is it expensive for a guy? And how will my life be if I decided to live there with him? Do you have Turkish schools to teach Turkish language in Turkey? And is Turkey a safe country to live in as a foreigner?

Thanks in advance

Hello Fatimah, while there are some other people who can answer your question better, this is what I know: All the things that you asked for relating to the marriage depend heavily on the guy you are going to get married to. It can vary greatly from family to family. Generally, getting married to a foreign person is looked at with suspicion, but if you are a Muslim getting married to a Muslim man/woman, your chances are much higher for being accepted in the family. Western women/men have a much more difficult task. However, it all depends on the family of the guy you´re marrying.

I don´t know anything about the cost... sorry.

Your life in Turkey will be very good I think, but that still depends on where you will live, what you will do, whether you know the language... I think Turkey is not much worse in terms of safety then most places in the world, unless you are venturing into shady places. Still it depends on which city you will live in.

Yes, there are Turkish language schools in Turkey, like Tomer and Dilmer. If you are married to a Turkish person, you have 50% off of the course in Tomer.

I hope this helps.

Ooh thank u sis, it´s helpful. Well, I´m muslim and I want to get married to a muslim-Turkish guy. It´s my dream.  I didn´t meet any man yet, but I´m looking for someone at the moment. Coz that I´m asking you here. Does anybody know any thing els? Thank you.

How about my nationality? will it change if I went there to live for ever?

 Ofcourse not, there are some conditions you have to achive to be a citizen of any countries, which are stated in each of thems laws.

And also it is up you whether you want to change it or not...

Thank u bro. cok tesekkurler.

 Cost an arm and a leg!  Nice English phrase   and some interesting questions you are asking!

 I´m just curious, why are you set on meeting and getting married to a Turkish guy?  I know you said it´s your dream..just trying to understand really.

As I´ve heard (yes, really!) Turkish men are in some way famous for ehm..... their ´actions´. That´s what a maitre-d´hotel in Afyon told me....

 OMG they are the most manly men in the world, I do love them so much. And I think that if I chose a Turkish guy to live with, he will deal with me very good, of course it depends on the guy who will live with me. I´m sure about that. They are handsome, smart, gentle and kind. And the most important thing that they are free without an overstatement. Also, I fell in love with Turkish language, and I think that the best way to learn it is to get married to a lovely Turkish guy. OOh when will it be explained? I´m so excited to find him. With all my love from the bottom of my heart.

Turkish guys are çok yakışıklı(f)

 Thanks a bunch to find my questions interesting. It costs an arm and a leg means it´s so expensive. Don´t u know your English idioms?

 That is how the way my bestfriend explained to me about turkish men and she is very much in love with a turkish man

You only have to read this site for any length of time to know how wonderfully well they treat women too! (with some exceptions of course!)

 Yes believe me they the gentle touch. Ooh how lucky is your best friend.

 yes she is and i knew it by myself when i met her turkish love and so he too, loves my bestfriend sooooo much.

 Yeah dear I understand u very well. Well, I´m aware of that nobody is an angel. I would accept bad things in my man´s personality. It´s normal. I´ll read inshalla, but now I´m spending a lot of time learning English in the British council. So I´ll read it later.

 Just curious as to what this means exactly!  Is this like without an overdraft??

 Damn!  So that´s all it takes - where´s my English husband??  I want a divorce NOW!!!

OOOOOh LIR-why didn´t we think of that-easier than buying a grammar book!

 Well DEAR - as you can see - I had exactly the same thought!

That´s spooky GMTA

 I don´t mean to burst your bubble, but how can you say they are the most manly men in the world? I have a feeling you haven´t met too many men from around the world and a turkish guy left his lasting impression on you.  Remember there are handsome, smart, gentle and kind men all over this world.  Don´t sell your self short and limit your possibilites because you think Turkish men are the means to all end.  But I´m sure my words will have no impact, since this is your dream to marry a Turkish man.  Hope you find one that will live up to your expectations, but in reality they are just like other men, some good some bad.

Will you just stop that Teas!!

We are the most handsome, the smartest and the most gentle men and the most handsome in the world..OK?

And we are the most gorgeous ones too..OK?

And and the most manly men too..

You are just jealous!!!

 How I wish my emotion icon worked now. hahaha  But handsom your already taken and not many other turkish men come close to your handsomeness, smarts or gentleness.  So maybe you could help this poor girl out and make her dreams come true.  What about your cousin

thegorgeous? hahaha

I just remembered in your job description as the head of the welcoming committee; other duties as assigned.  Find this girl a Turkish husband...

Good men? Handsome AND kind AND smart AND gentle at the same time? Really? Where? The only few guys I´ve ever met with all these qualities already had boyfriends..... 

Fatima,

Good luck with your search for a nice Turkish husband. Don´t let some dissapointed ladies here discourage you.

 I guess I should have said with any luck....lol 

Do you fancy a bottle of vinegar?

We are Handsome AND kind AND smart AND gentle AND MANLY MEN..

OK?

And most GORGEOUS too..

 Disappointed?  Who is disappointed.... you obviously don´t know me.

Seems there is another prankster in our midst. 

Because they jokingly question whether turkish men are all fabulous and fantastic, that makes them disappointed ladies?

ooh fatima i hope what youre saying isnt affected by noor !! i dont think you can generalize all turkuish guys on mohanned!!!(dont compare the looks either!!) and handsom seems to think a olot about himself!!! anyway fatimah i dont think arabs can be considered foreigners i dont know why... and i think if u marry a turkish guy youll have a n easy life and wont feel much of a difference anyway most of their habits and traditions are the same as ours ! and if u marrya turk i think hell be more tha hapy to teach you turkish, and i think turkey could be safer than many arab countries (not that theyre not safe or anything just some places!!) anyway hope you fulfill your dream!

Good analysis PT, this thread like many others proves this.

 Mirror, mirror on the wall.....

 Please tell me where I said anything about Turkish men that was unkind?  I was stating a reality that there are good and bad men EVERYWHERE.  I´m sorry I don´t believe that turkish men are the ONLY manly men, smart, kind, gentle men out there.  No offense handsom...

Excuse me for finding it odd that someone posts it´s their DREAM to want to marry only a Turkish man because of these reasons.  To me it suggests a LACK OF EXPERIENCE and single minded.  If you were to say I want to marry someone within my own religion, I understand this.

+1

It´s quite amazing when someone who constantly mocks other people with cynical and sarcastic remarks comes around and says that she finds it unkind....

 I presume you´re referring to me, yet I haven´t contributed to this thread.  Thank you for remembering me .

As you are well aware, you have taken my words in another thread out of context in order to imply something for your own ends.  For the benefit of readers on this thread, what I actually said was this:

What it doesn´t say is, "I don´t mock or use cynicism or sarcasm at all"  -  I´ve admitted that I can do this with just as much enthusiasm as others here.

That´s all  . . . for now 

  If you read the original post and topic, you would think this girl was engaged to a Turk.  But reading more she is planning her future to someone she hasn´t even met and is determined it will be with a Turkish guy.  Heck, I understand we all have dreams to each it´s own, but it was quite confusing to me.  I wasn´t being sarcastic by all means.

I don´t understand why PC or Alameda try to add fuel to the fire.  If they were really concerned with this girls feelings...how about writing a message...Turkish men are wonderful, I hope your dreams are met.  Instead their motives are even worse than me questioning someone who is destined to be with a Turk.

 Well Duh....she´s in Saudi, how many men do you think she could have met? She would be find a lot more freedome in Turkey than Saudi. For instance, she could drive...and a few other things. She would not have to wear the all covering niqab and hijab.

What it doesn´t say is, "I don´t mock or use cynicism or sarcasm at all"  -  I´ve admitted that I can do this with just as much enthusiasm as others here.

That´s all  . . . for now 

It appears your friend Armageddon through you under the bus this time.  I thought you made this comment in this thread.

I´m sorry, my comment was referring to PT, not to you.

Teas you don´t need to defend your comment.  There are plenty here with functioning brain cells that know exactly what you were saying. 

 Well Duh, I´m glad you have learned some new voc..it makes you a little more human now.  I didn´t know she was from Saudi, my point exactely.  She doesn´t understand that there are good men all around the world, just not next door.  What is so wrong with this?

 I realize this.   My response was directed to PC and Alameda as well.

 I´m glad someone does. hahaha

 This is the quote Armegon took from another thread:

I was saying it is unkind to treat new members or those having relationships with Turkish men, in a mocking, sarcastic or cynical way.  I wasn´t saying the relationships were unkind.

Thanks Armegon but  I´ll call you next time I need help getting under that bus

 I haven´t commented on this issue at all .

I haven´t commented on this issue at all .

That would be much better.

Take my advice, Turkish men are not the most manly men in the world.  Read the posts from the link below, and you will see the heartbreak I am now dealing with  because I had the dream to be married to the Turkish man I love.

God has a plan for you, and he will reveal to you the man you are to marry. I am being tested now with God´s plan, and I do not want anyone to have to go through with what I am dealing with now.  My Turkish man/ or shall I say boy since he is 28 and is to weak to stand up to his father and tell him he and I want to marry and will do so without his blessings since he will not give consent. 

Best wishes slow down, and let fate work for you, do not do what I did and fall in love with the words the Turkish man is very good at saying to Foriengers Muslim or not.

 http://www.turkishclass.com/forumTitle_17412_3

 Thank you

btw  . . how do you do that clever crossing out stuff?

 I realize this now, no offense taken.

 it´s up on the top bar

 It´s a different culture Teas....you figure out what you want and then look for someone that fits that criteria. Normaly, the whole family is involved in the decision and search.

 I think that is very wise advice.  Thank you for sharing that.

It has nothing to do with watching TV coz I have no idea about noor, I don´t watch TV it´s not my hobby or something. Second of all I believe that as good Turkish guys have existed, bad Turkish men have existed as well. Yes I live in Saudi Arabia but my mother country id Yemen. I born here and I think like it´s impossible to get married to Saudi guy. I don´t want my daughters and my sons suffer from the culture. Women can´t drive and can´t work as men. Also Saudi men have enjoyed getting married million times, he will cheat me and he will leave me after 10 years. OK THEN? I´M NOT AN ANIMAL. A Turkish guy maybe will make mistakes as any person in this life. I posted my thread to ask about specific things not to fight. Sorry.

TURKISH MEN ARE FAITHFUL AND KIND, BUT NAYBE SOME SAUDI MEN HERE GOT JEALOUS OF LOVELY TURKISH GUYS.

I KNOW SAUDIS AND MOST KHALIJIS(IMNNOT MAKIG A GENERELIZATION)are like that!! they think coz theyre rich(oil!oil!oil!) they can do whatever they want and that women are just produce they pick up at the supermarket!!! i lived in saudi arabia for a year and a half and saw this!!

Is there any thing wrong if I live in Saudi Arabia? What  do u mean by experience? u mean relationship with guys? Thank God I´m a clean girl, virgin and I know what I´m going to do. My family has encouraged me and nobody could put me down.

I feel sorry for you when you say you can´t do many things you want because you are a girl and because of the culture/country you live in but I really have to laugh when I read that sentence in capitals. Faithful? Sorry dear, only on this forum there are at least dozens of women who can tell you different stories.

u cant really make a generelization, like its how they same that MOST egyptians are funny (which is soo true!!) but some egyptians if u sit down with them theyll ake u sooo depressed!!! heheh maybe one day youll run into the turk of your dream and find out that hes bad! I think if were id be shocked but its nice to think so good about ppl ilike to think about the good alsonand not about the bad!

 AsI said nobody is an angel. bad men have existed from all over the world. All I meant is that Turkish guys seem very lovely and nice, and to be honest majority of men are the same. But  with a Turkish guy I´ll be able to teach my sons and daughters very good, to bring them up without any problems with a nationality sufferings. I want to see my daughter speaks more than 4 languages, to learn like boys. I want to do something special for them. I don´t want to put her in prison for good as I live now. I couldn´t do any thing I wished to do. And now I´m 23 years old and I´m still doing nothing for the society. I feel I´m nothing, no advantage from me.

I don´t blame you for wanting to get the heck out of Saudi..I would too.  Just make sure you choose the right Turkish guy.. There are cheats even in Turkey!  But it sounds like you have better opportunities in Turkey than in Saudi.  Just go light on the perfume. (wink)

heheh perfume  (wink) i get it!!

 Yes dear, and this is what I meant. He should be good and kind. My eyes aren´t blind. Thank u for ur interacting.

 FWIW, I knew one Yemani woman who married a Turk. It went well, in as much as she was happy.

Sorry PT, if i drive you into a bad situation, just thought your comment fits to this thread, forgive me plz.

It was just a general comment, not adressed to you. And as always also in this thread, a girl asking some questions about marriage with Turkish guys but people here immediately begin to tease with thread owner instead of answering her questions, she just want her questions answered mostly but questioning starts though its none of us business. And also nobody says Turkish men are the onlies you mentioned, just respect the thread owner even she/he is naive. I think  an advice is enough besides the answers to her questions.

Simply thats non of your business, she does not have to give a reasonable explanation why she want to marry a Turkish guy.

just respect the thread owner even she/he is naive

What do u mean by that? Am I naive coz I asked about the details about Turkish culture or its men? I think it´s the effect of ur life in Saudi Arabia.

Sorry, if i offended you, that was not i want to say, i mean to say "if you think he/she is naive", that was also a general comment...

 No , I´m not offended, I just wanted to clarify.  Thanks

Good one!! (and so true!)

İ find myself agree with most that have been said here

Just take care,and put your hopes so high,and remember that,

Turkish men...STİLL men

They are not angels dear,so just be careful or else you will find yourself running from a hell you are living in made by the society,to another hell you made it by yourself

Open your eyes as many girls here adviced you,and remember to judge a man from his behaviour,from his acts,not just from his words

Best of luck in making your dream come true

 Excellent point Canli, I think if you know people who know the person you are interested in, and know their friends and family you have a better chance for success. You can tell a lot about a person by seeing who they keep as friends.

Most important, when you make your marriage contract, be very specific in what you want and get it in writing. Don´t give any of your rights away because you want to get married.

 I´m taking notes and saving to my notepad

Hello Fatimah, Are you planning to travel to Turkey? If you want to find a good man it´s better you met him face-to-face! Because it is true that words are easily said (or typed). Take your time, you´re young!

I think you did make a generalization doudi, now what is wrong with other gulf countries , we are not saudi, and ask anyone who lived in the gulf.

heck I can´t even live in saudi and I´m their neighbor. 

In bahrain and kuwait girls don´t even wear any hijab if that what you think will oppress women (i think hijab is a personal choice and not oppressive in the least), women in all gulf countries can drive, they can work with men, no problems.

 Where in the Gulf are you Wadjas? Bahrain, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar, and the United Arab Emirates (UAE)? Are you a National?

I´m from Qatar, yes i´m a national

 Interesting. Qatar has gone through amazing transformation in the last 20 years! Absolutly amazing! In fact the whole Gulf has gone through amazing transformation since 1972 when the UAE was formed. I have been following their development. Well done.

I have a first edition of Wilfred Thesiger´s Arabian Sands. Have you seen it or read it? 

 What has this to do with the topic of Turkish men´s suitability as husbands??

Jill, don´t you think you are a bit harsh with your last comment. Why not let her express her views and opinions..............Meine Allergnaedigste!

Well LIR, seeing as we are in a conversation with ladies from these areas, and one wants to marry a Turkish man, it is relevant.

One woman is a Yemani living in Saudi Arabia, another is from a Gulf State and there are others in different parts of the Arabian Peninsula.

Sister Fatimah

There was no need to shout "I WANNA MARRY A TURKISH MAN".

There was no need to say bad things about you country and your brothers (the men of your country), as long as you could say bad things about your country Turkey and the Turkish man will not trust you not saying bad things about them because Turkey isn´t the paradise and Turkish people are not angels in it. It is ok that you want to have a Turkish husband to teach you the language and to treat you like in dreams, but without offending others and without shouting high.

I hope you the best and I hope you can get your dream true as soon as possible.

PS: I love Turkey very much, I also love Turkish people, I just wanted to say a true word

 or hairy!!!

but i dont like turkish man, actually never liked just my only one - in the rest of them i cannot find anything attractive for me as they are to hairy, to dark, sometimes so so annoying and more i am sick of their attention as they cannot accept word "no" but if someone likes - good luck!

As if alllll Turkish men were crazy about you!!

i just told my opinion - nothing personal.As everyone i have right to like or dont like someone too.Well i dont.İ dont care they are crazy or not about me.

So why do you care to mention about your dislike towards the Turkish men you do not care?

because instead of saying how wonderful they are and puting them in next place after God, with saying that i dont like and that they are not so so so (we can see of broken heart count here and cheating) wonderful as they are saying or prettending they are.

 Maybe what you see is only because the name of this website is "Turkish Language Class".

men in any nations cheat and do what you dislike!! This is not in the genes of Turkish men...

 True, but still thread´s name is Turkish husband so... Turks are the main topic

And men of one coutry can not be measured by loverboys in vacation resorts...

Exactly this is what i mean! or with his being hairy or not

Hello Fatimah

I just want to say also, I feel so sorry for your situation in Saudi, the way your life is completely controlled. 

There are good and bad men (and good and bad women) all over the world in all the countries, so just be a bit careful, especially with internet "relationaship".  They often give people a false sense of security and a false view of people particular in internet cafe style chat / dating rooms.  Just be careful.

Also, my dear, my biggest worry of all is that you be careful with your use of internet - I mean, if someone in Saudi or in your family finds you typing all this stuff - please be careful firstly for yourself ! 

Take care

and there are different phases of hairy, I´ve met man of nations other than Turkish that look like... hmmmm... fuzzy pets

But on the other hand, I would feel very silly if my bf was less hairy then me

aaaaand My Turkish guy is great, not because he is with me, but because he has a great heart and personality.

Hey Fatimah,

As most people mentioned above, it´s not good to generalize about nations. There are good and bad people everywhere.

If you do plan to go to Turkey and get married to a Turkish guy (hairy or not ), then just make sure to meet a lot of people before you do such a thing, gain experiences, give yourself time to become mature, learn how to judge people, their actions, try to think longterm...Will you future husband meet your expectations?

And don´t forget that for mixed marriages to achieve both sides should have this magic capacity to put themselves in the other´s place.

Good luck!

People here are right, Fatimah. Be careful what you wish. I can´t even think about living in a country like Saudi being conrolled only because of my gender so it is no surprise you want a better future for your children and yourself. Good luck with that, just make sure you don´t end up in a worse position. I hope you will meet a great, loving guy who will fully appreciate you, not a traditionalist who´ll think that if you are a Saudi, he can have his piece of Saudi in Turkey. Remember, it is your future that is at stake so don´t do anything desperate. You seem a reasonable young woman, just don´t go for second best.

Best of luck to you

before I forget:

ps..mind that this is ´balsamic vinegar´!!

 Dear Fatimah

I think Kaplumbagitsa has given good advice.

I think if anyone is considering a cross cultural relationship, with no particular individual in mind, then it would be advisable to learn about/experience the chosen culture first.  Live that culture, learn about the social etiquette etc.  This would, of course, involve living there and creating an infrastructure of Turkish friends.  If you are going to use the internet, as cacik said, be extremely careful.  I think the best route would be to create friendships with females from Turkey first and a site like this one may be your safest bet, if the internet is your only means of doing this.  Also , as Kap. says, it does work both ways and your own cultural background/character may be the subject of scrutiny.

Whatever you decide to do Fatimah, keeping a level head and an open mind with thorough planning and groundwork, is key.  I would say don´t put meeting a potential husband at the top of your list, although it may be your ultimate goal.  Some say that love comes along when you least expect it.

I think you have received a great deal of good advice on this thread and I hope you are eventually able to make your dream of a happy life in Turkey a reality.

Regards

PT

 Of course!  That was my point, not something I would expect a Saudi girl to know!

 Of course!  That was my point, not something I would expect a Saudi girl to know!

There is a similar Turkish  idiom also "Atla deve değil", "It doesnt cost an horse and a camel" It tells its not expensive, its affordable, its not matter to buy it.

 Then seeing that you want to work and live in Turkey, your situation is a bit pitiful.

 It depends where you go and the Turkish men you meet.  Not all Turkish men are too hairy and too dark (for you), there are many that don´t look like this and many  have blue eyes.  So there´s a Turkish man out there for just about everyone´s tastes and that´s only taking looks into account .  Male Turkish behaviour is as diverse as anyoe else´s, it´s a question of forming friendships with those that suit your own character.

 After all this advice, I hope she will be kind enough to invite us to her marriage !

 Do you want to talk to my mother? She is here with me, I´m translating all replies to make her understand.

Congratulations!

Taking over 102 (not including this) replies for a message just in two days is a great succes.

After all, the good ones were grabbed years ago by domestics I am afraid. You are too late

Speaking as someone who has a Turkish husband, I can say only one thing:  HE (my husband) is a wonderful man but its not because he is Turkish.  It is because he is a really good person, kind, considerate and honest.  I wish the same for you Fatimah....whatever his nationality.

Thanks a lot for all of you. I really appreciate it.

 Fatimah no need to be defensive,Cacık is just worried about your welfare thats all.

Brother

did you notice that most of the posts are just fighting with stones

I hope your father is with you and you are translating all replies (also what you said) to make him understand

 Yes - I thought that comment was a little rude.

Fatihma, my advise: apply for a Canadian citizenship, move to Canada, who welcomes Saudis, Arabs and many Turkish citizens. As a rule they first go to Canada and later to the USA.

Also ask the handsom or Erdinc, if he as a Turk, had difficulties moving to the UK.

http://www.therecord.com/diversecity/diversecity_special_05050784544.html

 Of course, I´m free with my parents. I discuss about everything with them. I told my father that I want to get married to a Turkish guy coz they are more attractive, more smart and more kind than majority of men n here.

How about prison which I live in? The internet is the only way to find my man. Thank u but I think it´s impossible. 

I won´t say more things about this subject, but I tell you that I know why Saudi men leave their wives after 10 years and why they marry many times , I think they will look for Turkish women to marry them to escape from Saudi women (good ones are not included of course)

 Why? What´s wrong with saudi women after 10 years?

 Queent,the girl has asked for advice and got them,let´s keep it till that point

İ know pointing out that way to Saudi men werent nice ,but also pointing out that to Saudi women wont be any much nicer,yes ?

I may have missed this information but, Fatimah, how old are you?

I´m a spinster. I´m 23 years old. 

are u really considered a spinster or are u just being sarcastic??? coz 23 yrs is very young!!!(to get married)

 Spinster ? at the age of 23 ?!!!

Are you kidding me ?!!!

You still young,and have your life ahead of you,what would make you complicate it with an early marriage ?!!!

İ mean at 23...it may be,but earlier ????!!!

What does ´spinster´ mean?

i htink a spinster means too old to get married.....

 It´s a term not used very often today. It means is another term for an old maid, but not exactly. It is a woman who either does not want to get married or has been passed over for marriage.

Spinster

The Turkish term for this is turşu.

 I think it means "kız kurusu" or "evde kalmış" in Turkish and more suitable...

Thank you very much for your explanations.

And Fatimah, what kind of heresies are you talking about!? You are TOO YOUNG to get married! You should be going to school now and getting a career and enjoying yourself. Marriage is a serious commitment, there´s no rush into it.

heheheh, totally agree!!!

 I agree, she should be getting an education, and learning and having a career, but it´s not always possible in every place to do that.  

Remember, she is in Saudi Arabia. Even then, she is not a Saudi national, she is a woman from Yeman living in Saudi, thus she can not partake in the benefits of Saudi citizenship.

Second advise: Find a Turkish Dating Forum. Give it at least a try.

And if you, Fatimah, don´t speak/write the language yet, sign up at Facebook, with Turkey as your network. It may sounds sarcastic but it´s true: you´ll get loads of messages and friend requests from Turkish guys of your age (and you can of course always ignore or block them).

 Hello Fatimah

I did not mean to cause you offense.  It is only that we hear such awful stories about how ladies suffer at the hands of (particularly) male members of families protecting honour if a girl is caught.  I genuinely worried for you being "found out".  If you have the support of both your mother and father, then you are very fortunate and they are very understanding.

Good luck to you Fatimah and best wishes.

ı dont know ıf ım the only oneö but ı was wonderıng Fatımahö hows your ´Turkısh man Hunt´

goıngö just curıous-and ı also had advıce u can go on www.livemocha.com and list that you are learning turkish and youll get a lot of request from turkish men, and u can also learn the languages, so its a win-win, hit 2 birds with one stone

 Not a nice comment.  You´ve had too many late nights. 

Assalamualaikum, Merhaba!

I have read all messages on this thread until the last one.

And so far I found many good advises for Fatimah. Yet there are some "just comments" that you can treat it as "joke" that potentially make you burst into laughter.

I just want to say to you, please dont call yourself as "spinster". You just 23 years old. One good lesson from KungFu Panda film " just enjoy your day, dont worry about tomorrow and don`t be haunted of the past, that is why today so called "present", because today is a present, a gift"

Be positive and now you are in correct track, sister. As you said now you are learning English in British Council, and also want to add your language ability with Turkce as well. That is a great things to do by a 23 y.o girl that living in Saudi.

Salam,

Lia

Great advice and wonderful movie by the way!!

maybe......

Hallo everybody!!!  I am new to the forum, I signed in today... I read the whole thread through, and found it quite interesting. I am italian and have travelled a lot in my life, and, among all the other countries I visited, Turkey has won a very special place in my heart.

I speak a few languages ( italian of course, english, german, spanish and a little french), but have a hard time with turkce, being it´s structure so different .. this is why I was curious about this web site - maybe it could help me with my struggles in learning?!?!

To make a long story short, what I wanted to tell Fatima ( provided she´ll be looking up the thread again) is:

I fell in love with Turkey as a country because of the way the people there simply are...men, women, old people and children - everyone. Of course, as everywhere else, you find there are also people you could not define "nice"... but the percentage is lower than in Italy, for instance.

I´m sure Fatima would find living in Turkey very easy and pleasant. A husband?  There are nice men all over the world, and quite a few in Turkey... The point is knowing what to look for BUT ALSO not forgetting that our deep feelings are not controlled by our brain... Our heart sometimes reaches out to someone else without reasoning too much, and that has a tremendous strenght and importance. This is why internet is a very useful tool, but has also great limitations. Use it as a tool, Fatima, not as a way.

The best of luck to Fatima and a tight hug to all my turkish arkadaslar

Hadafang, welcome to TC!

Do your own job kitty!!!

Hi Hadafang !! 
I am the head of the welcome committee here. (NOT THAT kitty cat!!)

My greatest and warmest welcome to you!!!! 

Please join the conversation! 

Feel free to explore the site. 

Uncover cool stories and news and participate in lively and friendly discussions that will force you to think about Turkey and other subjects . 

Be inspired, post something , and stake your place in the realm of turkish class.

And make sure you dont give any of your private information to anybody.

Specially your msn. (but if you want to, of course it is your decision 

 I thought you told me you weren´t expendable.

sorry... you could have said it more politely though!

 Damn you handsom for upsetting catwoman!  She will be coughing up fur balls for a week now!  

I didnt read most of the post. I got stuck on the fact that someone can have the dream to marry someone from a certain nationality. So if you come across a very manly, handsome man, that takes very good care of you, you will turn him down? ´You´re not Turkish, this is not what I planned my life to be!´

Still have to figure out how everything works, but I´ll make it!  Thanks again,  and  forgive if and when I might ask for help...

merhaba fatimah,

You may not be interested in anyone else´s opinion´s now but can i just say. I am moving to Turkey because i fell in love with the place, But when i was out there doing research on visa´s etc, I met a turkish man.

Now he is a complete gentleman, gorgous and can be very lovely, but don´t let that fool you. He has bad traits just as anyone else. I know this because he listed them for me!!! ha ha ha. He can get very jealous and posessive. But he protects me to. Also I can say he is honest. If he thinks something he say,s it, even if it does hurt.

When i went to turkey they treated me with nothing but respect, but there are a few out there who are complete dogs, but they admitted it!!!!!

I have a question. His family aren´t heavy muslims and I was just wondering what reaction I might get. he has told them and they are happy with it. But how will they treat me?

Also is it just me or do the turkish move rather quickly in relationships? And do men or woman propose in Turkey as I think one of my turkish friends is pulling my leg and says that turkish men never propse!!!!!

Thnak yoooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu

hahahahahaa of course they do And things like this cannot be generalised, or from my personal expirience with many nations I could say that no man proposes, ever, with exception of a Turk

Thank you. I thought he was joking. I dont put anyone under the same bracket. everyone is different. I just thought it was a weird thing to say. All i can say is the turkish have a strange sense of humour.

One other question for someone out there with the knowledge. If i live out in turkey and i want to stay there for 5 years to become a civilian, is it true i can only be out of the country for 6 weeks in the whole 5 years. OR is it 6 weeks in a year.

Thanks peeps

Cheers amnariel

 I hardly dare to say you are right here, because then some Turkish people will me....

 Like the english arent weird enough!!!! And i am english and have no problem with being weird!!! my mother always said i was special!!!! lol

Please, post messages in English, or give translation. Thank you.

he wont lose arm or leg...but some hundred YTL. You will need all papers translated in Turkish language, and you must make application for ikamet for dont run all 90 days abroad..

 Who? Where?

I have a confession to make.  I am addicted to Turks.  It is soooo bad.  I think I am done, and then I go running back.  Turkish men can be wonderful and they can be terrible, but one thing is for sure:  IRRESISTIBLE.  I really, and I mean REALLY hate to admit it, but it is just the damn truth.  For me, anyways.....

Surely not all of them!

 No not all of them. I have one that works opposite my work and he makes me gag!! he is horrible, slimey and a pervert.

but there are some lovely turks, but im going out with one so i would say that!!

Well according to Mannachristiane´s profile she is engaged to a Turk!  So maybe she should try and resist the addiction now or she could be heading for trouble!

Well... I would suggest her that she changes her gender and then she can get up to 4 wifes... but she likes the guys... and homophobia is probably even worse over there... so at the moment I don´t have a good solution to this...

I always wondered what I would look like in a full beard!

I believe some people have made comments way back about good and bad men everywhere, and I know it is trite, but that is also true.  One thing I do notice about Turkish men that I have really loved is that they´re relentless!  Many women are turned off by this, but I like it.   I like a man who is aggressive enough to go for what he wants instead of the wishy-washy stuff I am used to dealing with here.

Loving men in general has caused much heartbreak and tears, but also tremendous joy.  InshAllah, I will be married soon, and we have ironed out a lot of those fears that we have both locked up inside. 

My advice for anyone going into a marriage--make sure the level of intimacy is in place.  You need to be able to find comfort in each other or your lives will totally suck!  And there are certain things you don´t want to be surprised with after signing on the dotted line!  Get alllllll of that out before committing. 

Oh--and stay away from jerks with double standards.  Ignorance crosses all socio-economic classes too.

See above response. 

I think Gümüş (Nour) is really loved and watched in the Middle East

hihh?  Anlamadim.  Kim?

Well famous Turkish soap operas and Gümüş is one of them hehe It´s become a phenomenon in the Middle East and women adore the leading role actor then they want Turkish men hehe

My Turk addiction is not based on a soap opera on TV, but rather a real life Leyla-Mecnuna style soap opera.  So bittersweet, it´s just silly.....

Crazy Turkish men.....I blame youuuuu!  but I love you!!!!

lol

 http://www.turkishclass.com/forumTitle_32467

Some believed all Turkish men buy flowers to their wives,and say benimcanımsevgilimhayatımbebeğimşekerimseniseviyorumçoközledim  lol

Thanks hehehe

Bir şey değil lol

And the next day they are just angry and cruel.....offffffffffffffff

They still buy flowers I worked as a florist for a week haha I was really surprised actually

 Ehmmm ehmmmmm,but you dont know whom they bought the flowers for !lol 

They were the dudus lollllllll

Apparently their wives

 Yeah,yeah and im queen Elizabeth  

 oh one is pleased to meet one

I´m Prince Philip XD

hahah i alreadya sked her the same thign in the begging but she said she doesnt watch tv

so.. guess thast not it

 Nice to meet you both, Fergie

In Tomer the discount is 25 %.

This looked so interesting when I read it under ´New in Forums´ 

A Turkish husband

Lane: In Tomer the discount is 25 %.

Fatimah, i am sure you are capable to choose a good turkish man : )

And for those who do not understand: she wants to marry a muslim and Turkey is a good choice. After Saudi Arabia Turkey is a paradise. But still a girl should choose carefully, should meet man`s family which will show who educated him and who he is.

yeah tahst right, but its weird to say i wanna marry a turk, what if she falls in love with smbdy else, no because hes not a turk?

But its hr life, shes free..!

Of course if she would find a good man who is not turk she wouldnt need this Turkey plan

 It was 50% last year.

Then it was changed due to my coming

Dear Fatima!

I am also 23 years old and just got married in Turkey. Since I am a foreigner, it took about a week and around 700 turkish lira (depending on the guys job it´s around one month´s salary). As for the paper work, you need a statement from your embassy in Turkey, you have to have translated it and your passport, and go to a hospital for some blood tests. After all these you need approval from the foreign ministry and an appointment from the marriage office. And paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.... Since these places are far away from each other in Ankara, we spent pretty much money on travelling too. This is included in the 700 lira.

Since you want to live here, after all this you have to take care of the ID paper and pay around 450 lira during five years and finally you will get a full residentship. Of course if you pay the whole fee at once you get it automatically. But you have to stay married for two years, unless the government takes it back.

The life Turkey is similar to the European standards, of course there are some differences. The prices are around the same, services (transportation, restaurants, bars) are very good and the people are very friendly, helpful and talkative. This means that they don´t like rushing things.
As for the safety Ankara is not more dangerous than London.

Before making your decision, listen to your heart and instincts and everything will be all right. It sounded like a lame pop song, but very true.

Instead of social pages like myspace or facebook you should check pages like this, where you can find people whose IQ level is more than the number of their teeth, and there is not just one thing on their mind but at least two.

Have a nice day everybody!
W.

Such a sweeping statement!!!!  I am sure there are many Turkish men who would disagree with you.

For those who do want a "foreign wife", I somehow doubt it is because they are "more easy going"

Certainly I would say most Turkish men living in Turkey don´t ´prefer´ a foreign wife.  They might like a foreign girlfriend or two but I would say they would be much more likely to marry a Turkish girl (and this by observation where I live)

 Only two?

I´d say it´s because with a foreign wife GOING abroad is EASIer

to be wife of Turkish man,look likes to trying pick roses on a very thorny garden  (sure with many exceptions) may be very hurting,but worth to try it...

I have been following this forum topic for a few days but I never put my opinion here. Actually when you are tourist things here in Turkey drives to be different than when you are living and have a panoramic view of everything.

Every foreing person I have met here in this time I live here have been telling me the same story about marrying a turk citzen... in the beginning everything looks perfect and you believe you have found the real happiness but after a while the person (turk one -it doesnt matter if its female or male) just change his/her behavior and things run to crash in a wall. And the stories are one worse than the other one. Of course that we cant generalize but for myself after had been listen such things I definitively have been rulling out of being with a turk. First of all its so hard that their families accept you coz the cultures and traditions are completely different and then the guys and girls here normally do what their family say and advice them to do, so if they do not accept you, be ready to come back to your country with your heart in peaces in one hand and the luggage in the other one... and other important matter is the language.. if you dont know it well and dont understand what they say, they use this to say things about you even in front of you and generally they are just trying to find a reason to send you back withou care how much you spent to be here or how hurting it has been for you since they care just about themselves mostly, quite selfish indeed. be careful.. lots of people are suffering now coz of that, you dont need to be in such situation. quite though indeed. turks with more opened mind are living abroad and are rulling out of the reality of their own country and families... I heard it from a turk who have been living abroad for years.

 i think we all find similarity and conformity around us. That coupe´s found Turkish men who are eager to marry foreign girls. By now the last message here is from Lady_Metal. She sees girls/boys with broken hearts in marriage with Turks. One who is in such marriage and still happy will find many same examples around. We see the world through our eyes, we build the outer world in accordance with our inner one, at last we get from outer world what is already inside of us in the form of our attitude.

Great post, raindrops! I know about 10 or more normal marriages without dissasters with turks. Well already I avoid negative people because my target is to create a happy and calm surroundings about me. We choose people according to our values and people do not change! 

I know of some very successful marriages between Turkish/non Turkish people - I also know of a lot of disasters.  But I think you must be very young if you think people don´t change.

Sometimes even among people from the same country is difficulto to live together coz they gorwn up in different houses with different habits... being with a person with different culture and habits isnt that easy and after living together you can discover some things you couldnt see before then after a while you discover that the person you were sure you knew is somebody else completely different and sometimes its so disappoiting that you really cant be withe person anymore. I am not talking just about turks but everywhere is like that. Dont take it wrong please.

"But I think you must be very young if you think people don´t change." Such sentences doesnt seem very intelligent. I mean deciding about age from someone´s thoughts. You can easily be wrong. Essence of people do not change. It can only develop to something. You just have to see the seed`s characteristics.

What is essence:

- Parents, who they are and how they educated their child

- Surroundings the person lived in

- Friends

I think you can get the person´s description quite well from these things.

I am not deciding your age from your thoughts - I just found the sentence ´people don´t change´ to be a bit naive.   I´m sure everyone likes to think that´s true when they are young but I just don´t think it is. 

Sorry if I offended you

 +10000000

People change radically!!!! Hell!  I am so glad I am no longer with boyfriends I thought I was in love with, in my late teens/early twenties!!!

An english saying

You never really know a person till you have lived with them

I think we have different things in mind.

 people´s nature is lazy. to change yourself is work, hard hard work. millions stay the same through all life. Few changes, mostly into worse as it is easier. With time people are covered with experience, coating of social status, but nature stays the same. As they say: to know person - divorce him/her first.

 life shows that we are hard to accept similarity. pure animal instinct. if we are equal, we compete in same planes and levels for the same things. we are more agressive towards those who are from the same natural habitat. we are more complaisant, tolerant and easy going with aliens. yes, we are more careful with strangers at the beginning, but are less likely "to kill" them in fight for our superiority. Thus, in certain sences union with foreigner has more chances to survive and be happy.

nevertheless, i think that happiness in relations is pure luck ). dependless on your efforts, wishes, will and other equal status

i like your position, very wise i think

 If you understand that you have bad sides and really wanna change it I think its more valid then just accept them and dont do anything to change it and harm people around you and sometimes yourself. If you get married waiting to be happy so you are running in a rong direction. Happiness depens just of ourselves ) thourgh our choices and decisions) and not of somebody else we dicide to be together forever ( or until the realtion keep working well). Some things also depends of the family where you are gonna enter.. if they accept you then take it as a bless, if they dont, be sure that they will try to convence your partner to leave you ( quite common in turkish traditions).

Lady metal I agree with most of your comments, however I do not believe it is possible to change your basic personality (or for someone to change another). 

I notice that I can be an angel in the company of some people, and a devil in the company of others!!!  I think that what we are like as people really depends on the chemistry you have with that person (bad or good), and that won´t ever change

 I am sorry if I offend you but if you behave differently according to the people you have around you so it means that you have no own personality. I didnt mean that you can change your own nature from night to day but you can try be a better person to get better results in your life instead of insisting of keep being the same moss-stone until you die.

 Of course I have my own personality.  Let me give you an example:-

Peacetrain:  Brings out the worst parts of my personality

Elisabeth: Brings out the best

 Changing according to the people that are around you has nothing to do with not having your own personality. Actually, behaving differently with different kind of people IS part of having your own personality, as long as its attached to your own personal values and ideas etc. Since no person has one straight character it is nearly impossible to behave the same all the time

 According to what I understood she said she can be a devil or an angel according to the people she has around her. The same tap cannot gives salty and drinkable water according to its interest AT SAME TÝME.

you must be devil of your boss because you dont do anything apart from posting on TC for years

You are right when it comes to the tap. But not when it comes to TheAenigma And I certainly believe that in one person 2 very opposites can be united.

 SO LET ME CHANGE MY WORDS LÝKE THAT: ÝF YOU CAN ACT ÝN A DÝFFERENT WAY ACCORDÝNG TO THE ÝNTEREST OR THE MOMENT BEÝNG THE OPPOSÝTE SO ÝT DOESNT MEANS YOU HAVE NO OWN PERSONALÝTY BUT YOU MAY DEFÝNÝTÝVELY HAVE 2 PERSONALÝTÝES AND ONE OF THEM ÝS ALWAYS TRYÝNG TO WÝN THE ANOTHER ONE, AS IF YOU HAD 2 DOGS INSIDE YOU AND YOU PUT THEM TO FIGHT. IF YOU FEED ONE OF THEM BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONE SOME DAYS BEFORE THE FIGHTING, ITS NOT DÝFFÝCULT TO GESS WHICH ONE WILL WIN.

 Oh my god ... do you have to shout?    Calm down!

PS. What you said above is absolute crap (unless you are mentally unstable!)

I do not agree with you at all. But I don´t see that as a reason to shout at you in capitals?

Oh well, I´m off to do something useful.

 Yeah he brings out the worst in me

 Me too

 The capital letters arent coz I was shouting but coz my keyboard was with caps lock turned on and I didnt see. Anyway people know that what I said is truth but they dont want or cant accept this is why they dont agree. Anyway it doesnt matter for me. This is why the world is like that, everyone thinks that he/she is right and have been doing things as they want.So they should keep like that.. lets see the resulties after a while. And by the way I am not the one who said that I can be an angel or a devil according to the people I have around me so I am not the crapped mind one. We must keep in mind that its impossible to get on well with everybody, as people said, even Christ who was always good couldnt make everybody happy, why should I care what people think about it?

 It seems you are the worst culprit 

I agree. We just talk about different things. Remember, body tends to max potential and min kinetic energy. It means that we try to make as less bodily movements as possible. When you know smth bad in yourself you either accept it or change it.  Mostly people prefer complaining, but not changing. it is hard to step over inertia.

I believe that when we marry we are waiting for happiness, at least when it is marriage based on love. Then we may either create happy life for ourselves and others around, or just wait for happiness to come. Though, if while marrying we do not consider money, status etc as main goals what will we marry for? I think for happiness.

you know my grand-grand mother convinced her older son to leave his already pregnant wife for future better candidate. she tried to do the same with my grand-father and she failed... People say that one man - no man. But none cancelled the importance of personality, individual in History.

at least somebody could get my point. Nice post raindrops!

I would find this rather offensive, if I was ´people´ or ´everyone´ 

You are actually saying that the world is like ´this´ (whatever that may mean..) because ´we´ do as we please because ´we´ think ´we´ are right. Lighten up a bit Metal, I was just disagreeing with your strong statement that people only have 1 linear personality, which I find to be a very simple statement for something so complex as human beings.

Checking  this site out may be interesting;

http://www.expatharem.com/

"... be very careful when you cause a woman cry, because God counts her tears!
A woman was created from a man´s rib, not from his leg, if it had been so she would have been crushed; she wasn´t created from his head either so that she won´t be superior. But she was created from his chest so she would be equal;... a little beneath the arm, so that she would be protected... from the heart level so that she would be loved"