I wanted you to understand me 100% so I got it translated.
Last night after 7 hours flight all I wanted was to go to my room and sleep, but I remember I promised you I would go online. As soon as we arrived at the hotel, as always the Purser check if we want eat together so he can reserve tables for us. We all said yes, so I went downstairs to eat because I was actually hungry. I had one glass of wine and one of beer, everyone was watching the match with barcelona. It was 12:00 am when I came to the room but don´t forget that is 03:00 am in Dubai so I was feeling more tired. I didn´t want to sleep, but I came to my room, I changed and the first thing I wanted was to talk to you because I missed you. We started to talk but the internet stops and come back we try we try ....but later I don´t remember anything, I know, I fell asleep. Our relantioship is very frigile theses time and because of that you are getting upset quickly with me for reasons that wouldn´t bother you in the past. I know last night it was my fault, I was over tired and shouldn´t accept the drinks, this made me even more tired. My heart hurts that I am making you so sad and worried, but I have this weird feeling that I am watching myself how I used to live before, I would call you 50x times hoping you would pick up the phone and you never did, stay home waiting for you to come untill you come with a different plan and text me that you wouldnt come or just come up with an excuse one day after, I suffered ....., I suffered a lot, you were the one and only thing I had , I was lonely, living in strangers house and left all my friends behing because of you. I was 23 years old and didn´t enjoy my life. Now the only thing I am doing different is making friends, enjoying life, being friendly to people, to my collegues, being sociable, traveling the world with this job which is all I ever wanted when I left my country, I know you don´t like travelling, you don´t like changes, you always told me, its ok, people are different , but I don´t want to regreat one day for throwing this chance in the garbage. At the same time I want to be happy with you but after last year in Turkey I promised myself I would never cry the way I did, that I would never do too much to any one because people don´t recognise all the effort I do, and the value I give. If I am the way I am now , I sometimes think it is all your fault because I tried very hard and my experieces in Turkey wasn´t nice...I was crying, still lonely, needed to beg for things to happen, to go out, to hold my hand, to stay with me when, I was not living ...just working, saving money to buy tickets and presents to Turkey......... ( continues)
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