İ wanted to say my opinion in this matter,but i didn't know where to post it,so i thought to open a thread where anyone can post any opinion of his or of her,which it has no place in other threads,

My opinion is about traditions,and some of it which we considered old fashion one,

Something like kissing hands of the elders

yes,it definitely shows respect,and it definitely old fashion too

We long,long time ago used to do same,and kissed our parents hands too
And older people's hands,grandfather,or so

And suddenly we found it old fashion,and to be modern,we shouldn't do such old thing,and kissing hands shows that we follow,we don't lead
So, we just stand up,and said,no we don't follow,we want to lead,and we want to have our own personality

So we started from this,and stoped kissing the hands

Although,kissing hands could only means respect,not to follow the older,just respecting them,and their opinions,and that doesn't mean we have to follow their opinions
We could still have our own personality,and at same time,show them the respect they deserve

But we just did it this way,came the 60th,and we said NO to everything instead of saying yes,arguing,instead of discussing politly

And now younger people don't kiss hands really,at same time they don't have much respect for older people too,as they used to have

They also can shout at their parents,and they can leave the house and go out in the middle of discussion if they were saying something they didn't like
And they call it personality !


İ really wish to see young people kiss elders hands again

Traditions are hard to keep with time,and with mixed cultures in the Media,
World had become like a small village already

So,if you can keep traditions,hold tight to it,it is going to disappear by time

And not easy to get it back....really not easy

When you lose it....,you will appreciate it more

Just my opinion

Hi Canlı,
I know where you are coming from. One thing I notice about young Turkish people is that they have so much more respect for their elders than English ones.

Here in England we started with a similar process losing respect in the family and then it spread to schools etc. Now some young people think they can do what they want and the trouble is they seem to do, get away with it. People are scared to go out at night because of being robbed or attacked or worse.


My own children are polite but I have always encouraged them to have their own views on things but at the same time respecting others peoples beliefs.

Try to keep your traditions as they are. Once you lose them you will never get them back.

I agree that Turkish children have more respect for their elders and, although things may be changing there, as long as they have "families" it can never become as bad as it is in the UK.

Although I live in a quiet rural area of England, it is even spreading here. I work with the public and have to daily deal with abuse and disrespect from children - even when their parents are present! It is so sad to see children of 6 and 7 swearing and demanding the right to do as they please. Children have always been naughty(!)- its part of growing up, but we were always respectful of elders. Not so now.

In England, the "family" unit is a dying tradition, and it is affecting children badly. They are not given enough attention and discipline as previously and I fear for the future when these children become adults .

I m lucky to be living in a country where values and principles are still high, compared to the rest of the western countries. Family is a sacred thing here still and respect is the value we are raised with.

It's sad though, to realize that things are changing with a fast speed. And children (especially teenagres) are not so nice and respectful anymore. I remember my daughter's teacher in the 1st grade of secondary school, saying that these were not kids, they were monsters :-S

I guess that this change comes from the family. It's a chain reaction actually. The living cost has become too high and almost unbareable. People have to work more and spend less time with their children. Our kids are raised basically on their own. We, the parents, guilty for the limited time we dedicate to them, we spoil them more. We bare their negative behaviours more. We complain less about their actions. They take things for granted. AND they understand that they will get away with almost anything they do. So they do it. At first to try their parents' limits, then cause it feels good (not following the rules is always tempting).And so on... And things will only get worse.

Turkish people are still having these strong principles and are enjoying the family unity, only because most of the women are not working, they are staying at home, spending time with their children and raising them up properly. As soon as this will change, values will disappear. It's as simple as that...

This time i have a remark,i needed to say,maybe you notice or maybe you don't,so i'll say anyhow

İts about Media and language,and specially English language.
İ saw this happening before,and saw it here too,and last time was a month ago or so.
Some none English speaker was posting something,and used what we could call it not a nice style in post.
And English members got offended,and this member'none English language speaking' didn't know what is it.

The words were from the sh*t categories.
The thing is,we as foreigners,watch Tv,movies,and so,we learn from there too,and we see you there use those words,so it was normal to assume that is your common way of talking,and if anyone used same style,you won't get offended!

Some of us,read more,notice more,know people from English speaking countries,or even travelled there,so we understood,it was just in the media.

And some didn't,and think being a cool is to talk like this.
Heros always did !

So,i just wanted to clarify this,so you may not get offended from people who is doing this,they have nothing to blame.

Just try to explain.
İf you ask them do you use same words in your own language,they will answer ,NO
But Americans do!

İts the Media !

İm sorry if i had to say this,but that happened with a TC member here,and i would hate to see it happening again.
And he/she not guilty for it.

i have always been brought up with respect for my parents and discipline was a major part of my life,even at secondary school etc i didnt go out after sundown because it wasmt appropriate.i'm only 22 but i think most children nowadays are extremely rude and demanding..they always ask for things which i completely detest as i was brought up never to ask for anything from others.i think its the height of rudeness, they barge in queues,swear for no reason,scream at their parents etc etc etc,
thats not to say i was a complete angel all of the time because obviously i wasnt, but i would never swear at my parents and have never done anything naughty in front of my grandparents because i love and respect them way too much.
i also kiss okkes' elders hands because i think its a nice tradition..anyway enough moaning for me anyone would think im 220 not 22

oh that explains your excellent knowledge of the turkish language then robyn, the length of time you have been studying it

A sentence in another thread,made me explode made me think,Oh God when will it end,when will we,women have our own rights and freedom they way it should be!

Men try always to control women,and women for centuries have been fighting for their freedom TİLL NOWWW.

Men see women as a doll,just a doll they can control it.

İn the past,they covered her,and not allow women even to go out alone,then not allow them to go out without wearing millions and millions of things to cover them up,then women gained their freedom and took off covers and become in charge.

Or that what they thought ! Grrrrr

Now men controlling women by NOT allowing them to wear what they want AGAİN

But the other way arround !

And some women blindly following them

God,its our own freedom,the menimum thing is just to have control on yourself,the way you think,the way you look!

And here im talking about Hijab .

İ'll tell you a little story,

Here is allowed for women to wear what ever they want,Hijab or stomachless,tight or not tight,whatever,no body cares.
But of course not walking naked,cause people wont accept that far!
And to make you understand better,here girls when they wear Hijab,they dont wear a wide dress and headscarf like Arab countries
Girls wear everything,even tight clothes,short scarves,as long as they are covering their bodies,then its ok
Not all of course but majority.

Anyway,im wearing Hijab,modern style too,and i wanted to change my job to a better one.
So i started to look at the news papers for a good job in the private business.

So,i found those 2 words in the job requirements ''NOT VEİLED'
İ got mad,but then i made my choice and no one would force me the other way,even a good job and good position!

Then i called some company,a big one for an admin position,those 2 words were not included in their addy.
But i told the HR manager btw,im veiled,i wear Hijab.

He said ''ok,i dont mind,i have nothing against it.

But how do you wear it ?
Women is a beautiful creature,and its waste to cover her beauty,but sometimes covering up in some way would make her even look more beautiful!''

İ practically insulted him and hanged up !

When will men STOP looking at woman as a doll?!!
When will they stop trying to indicate things on us,what to wear what to do,or what NOT to wear ?!

When will they understand deep down inside them we have our own minds which are very perfect and some times better than their minds and we can make our own choices ?!

Btw,the sentence was 'Off course she was reported and dismissed from the job'

No need to say that was because she was veiled !

I agree with you Canli. The main problem is that we live in men's world which they inflicted with greed, insecurities, immaturity as dominant traits in our societies! Women are also at fault for the current situation, but they are the ones that are brainwashed as opposed to who is doing the brainwashing. We have been squandered and then blamed for not being strong enough.
Wherever you go, it's infected with patriarchy like a plague. Whether it's Islamic world or the USA (or any other western country). One came up with the idea of covering women up head to toe without any freedom about it (yes, some women want to cover themselves up, but are they also given power, money, and 4 virgin, headscarfed husbands???), while the other brought explicit degradation of women through seeing nothing in them but sexual objects, preferably naked. There is criticism to both sides. While radical religiousness is inflicted with intolerance and discrimination, secularism that has no concern for ethics and morality becomes a filthy pigsty run by the greedy dominant class. Religions, at least TRY to preach morality.

İts not here matter West or East,the problem is in men's minds !

No matter where he is,what he do,what position he is in,what he see in women first is their bodies,not their minds.

Then try to control her in any way they can !

Even it became indication too,to be secularism is to take off women headscarf or else you are not secularism?!!!

How about to be secularism is to give human his freedom ,to be not is to take it away ?!

And just forget about controlling women,stop making issue what they wear for its their own freedom,and value their minds!