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WHAT IS MARRIAGE?
(27 Messages in 3 pages - View all)
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1.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 04:51 am

AlphaF offers few words of wisdom, this time to the gentlemen of this class...

WHAT IS MARRIAGE???

01. Marriage is not a word.
It's a sentence (a life sentence).

02. Marriage is love. Love is blind.
Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

03. Marriage is an institution in which a man :
loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

04. Marriage is a three-ring circus:
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

05. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

06. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that instead.

07.There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and
found himself married.
A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found
himself divorced.

08.A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking;
the husband gives and the wife takes.

09. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream,
and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage , it is love
after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife,
there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America,
the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin.
They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After the marriage the 'Y' becomes silent.

21. I married Miss Right;
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men,
it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard.
In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend:
I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,
THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POOF!....... IT WAS ALL GONE.
WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend.
He says, 'MY WIFE FOUND OUT'!!

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married,
then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,
he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED.
The next day he received a hundred of letters and
they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

Unmei-de-Lange liked this message
2.       MaryEldar
0 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 05:36 am

uuuh man!!

Really very depressing, i think these was writing for some sad person, who haved bad life

I hope my husband and i we will be together all life in love like my father and mother, they are my example becouse they have 50 years married, and they are in love, respect and fidelity.

Sorry for you man!... also... each one is happy to her way.

M.T.

3.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 06:48 am

What are you up to now, Mary?
You have deliberately spied on a post, clearly marked as "for gentlemen".
Can we, at least, have some privacy between the poor men, pls?

See what I mean, now? ))))))))))

4.       Boop
785 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 10:42 am

Well I am sorry for spying too - ....I am not a man - but I loved these - made me laugh - a lot

5.       miss_ceyda
2627 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 12:34 pm

YEAH.. im not a man either... but u gotta admit.. these are quite funny

6.       freshman
704 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 12:48 pm

It was nice points of marriage...

7.       miss_ceyda
2627 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 01:00 pm

of course that the strong feelings of love will gently die down over the years although not everyones marriage is this bad is it??!! :O

8.       Deli_kizin
6376 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 01:38 pm

Quoting miss_ceyda:

of course that the strong feelings of love will gently die down over the years although not everyones marriage is this bad is it??!! :O



Hehe i think u r right I do believe in love and marriage for a lifetime. But those jokes were really funny

(and as you can see, actually women are more interested in this post so far i think because they understánd that it is a joke.. when you think this is true, you get scared the hell out of ye and don't even dare to post a reply .. not to mention u'll never wanna marry )

9.       oceanmavi
997 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 04:06 pm

oops i didnt actually see the 'for gentlemen' bit, but im glad i read it because those were funny

10.       catwoman
8933 posts
 05 Apr 2006 Wed 05:24 pm

If you marry a 30-year old child, this is what he will feel like, which is really very funny lol. These are the cries of the spineless - apparently a men's disease (some do find a cure though .

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