AlphaF offers few words of wisdom, this time to the gentlemen of this class...

WHAT IS MARRIAGE???

01. Marriage is not a word.
It's a sentence (a life sentence).

02. Marriage is love. Love is blind.
Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

03. Marriage is an institution in which a man :
loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

04. Marriage is a three-ring circus:
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

05. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

06. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that instead.

07.There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and
found himself married.
A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found
himself divorced.

08.A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking;
the husband gives and the wife takes.

09. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream,
and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage , it is love
after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

16. When a man steals your wife,
there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America,
the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin.
They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one.
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After the marriage the 'Y' becomes silent.

21. I married Miss Right;
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men,
it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard.
In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend:
I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,
THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POOF!....... IT WAS ALL GONE.
WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend.
He says, 'MY WIFE FOUND OUT'!!

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married,
then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,
he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED.
The next day he received a hundred of letters and
they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

uuuh man!!

Really very depressing, i think these was writing for some sad person, who haved bad life

I hope my husband and i we will be together all life in love like my father and mother, they are my example becouse they have 50 years married, and they are in love, respect and fidelity.

Sorry for you man!... also... each one is happy to her way.

M.T.

What are you up to now, Mary?
You have deliberately spied on a post, clearly marked as "for gentlemen".
Can we, at least, have some privacy between the poor men, pls?

See what I mean, now? ))))))))))

Well I am sorry for spying too - ....I am not a man - but I loved these - made me laugh - a lot

YEAH.. im not a man either... but u gotta admit.. these are quite funny

It was nice points of marriage...

of course that the strong feelings of love will gently die down over the years although not everyones marriage is this bad is it??!! :O

oops i didnt actually see the 'for gentlemen' bit, but im glad i read it because those were funny

If you marry a 30-year old child, this is what he will feel like, which is really very funny . These are the cries of the spineless - apparently a men's disease (some do find a cure though .

I am not a man either and agree with most of them!

OK OK "Gentelman" If this is a joke to the pooor men, this is my answer:

The first day of the rest of your life

When you get married,
this is the first day,
of the rest of your life.

No more staying in bed till 2
No more having girlfriends over on weekends
No more just you

Is it the best day or the worst day?

Well, you get:

Your guy waking up with drool on his face
Your guy waking up early to watch cartoons on weekends
Having to buy more cereal because he ate it up again...

But its so worth it!

- * - * - * - * - * - *

Attractive Wives

Morty was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge.

He turned to his wife with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."

His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"

SOCRATES on marriage and men.......Can you beat that?

"All men must marry. If the wife is good, they become happy; otherwise, they become philosophers."

So I must marry then?

What is the marriage??

Marriage, as a choice, requires choices.
One must choose not once, but every day.
Life offers us a hundred thousand voices,
Yet those we fail to hear fast fade away.
I choose you with all my wounded heart:
You and our two children. All the rest
Lies in the distance, charming, but apart
From the circle of the ones with whom I'm blessed.
Our marriage isn't easy, but our love
Is still the force that shapes my daily life.
I want us to be happy, and will move
Wherever I must be to be your wife.
I'm yours, and I want you to be mine.
We'll find a way our wishes to combine.
(In memory of Eldar)

Mary T.

(In memory of Eldar)

Mary T.


Very sweet words and sentiments - touched my heart, thank you for sharing MaryEldar

Alpha must laugh his socks off everytime he makes a post. His posts are usually ironic, but the real irony comes with the discussion that follow. I can easliy imagine him spluttering into his beard with laughter.

I salute you Grand Master.

You are really 'THE MAN'

Yes I agree Lyndie - Alpha certainly has a great knack for irony - he is fab