Quoting Melnikaite:

I would like to know the ideas of foreign women married to turkisn men. what problems they faced or still facing?So interesting to share opinions wiz females living in Istanbul. I am from Belarus and soon coming to Turkey. Thanx in advance.

Quoting Melnikaite:

Actually i expected to hear experince of the ladies who moved to Turkey their first months of staying.just replying to a new topic in forum is nice but if you add something from your experience i would appreciate it much.

Quoting robyn :

i did..i'm not living in turkey with him, we live here, men are men no matter where they come from and just because my husband acts in certain ways doesnt mean othe turkish men would do the same..do you see what i am trying to say now?

Quoting robyn :

...men are men no matter where they come from ...

Quoting susie k:

The best advice really is to get friendly with some Turkish girls - who must be recommended by your partner - then they will explain their customs and ways to you, it can be very upsetting otherwise because people may disapprove of you for doing something completely natural!
QUOTE]
Susie k, thanx for reply. Do you really belive that it is possible to get friendly wiz turkish girls?We, foreign wives, are supposed to steal "good turks" from the turkish girls? Did u manage to become friendly wiz any turkish female? especially single? I managed but only wiz married one

Quoting Melnikaite:

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting robyn :

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting robyn :

it depends upon the viewpoint u adopt when u r reading the sentence.. i guess with ur critical,analytical mind u just look for things to criticise

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting robyn :

Quoting Melnikaite:

Quoting aenigma x:

I In the UK it is very much an equal partership where you agree on your shared goals, whether you want children and who will take care of them (many of my friends husbands are house-husbands and take care of the house and children - unheard of in Turkey as far as I am aware!!!)
In Turkey (while I hate to generalise) I think there are certain things which would "expected" of you.

Quote:

Quoting Melnikaite:

torally agree wiz u Aenigma. Just a sample. I asekde A female turkish friend of mine: Are you gonna buy a new digi-cam? The girl replies( they r just engaged not married): My husband says we dont need it now...The couple is abt 30 years old.

Quote:

Quoting juliacernat:

"I feel like I have to change my personality to be accepted here. I just want to be myself.” I was listening to my European friend complaining that yet again her bubbly personality had got her into difficulties with strangers. What had upset her most was that her Turkish girlfriends weren’t sympathetic to her plight. Laughter liberates and laughter uplifts. When we learn to laugh at our mistakes, and learn from them, nothing is too difficult. Many of our bookstore customers express how frustrating it is to learn the language. If they have time I share with them some of the mistakes I have made while learning Turkish. One example is: I wanted to get out of the dolmuş in Şişli and I meant to say the standard phrase, “İnecek var!” (Literally: There is a person who wants to get out.) Instead, to the bewilderment of the driver and my fellow passengers I called out, “İnek var!” (There is a cow!)
Have you noticed that Turkish people usually do not tend to shout or talk loudly in public like some nationalities?

A group of friends in a tea-house or restaurant will enjoy sharing a good joke, sometimes at each other’s expense. Turks will enjoy a comedy program on TV, pulling the leg of a friend, or sharing a joke on their cell phone. But uproarious laughter is not commonly seen in public: e.g., in shopping malls, on the ferry, walking down the street.
This is hard for many foreigners who are used to smiling when they walk down the street or having a good laugh anywhere when something funny strikes them.
It is important to make some adjustments in life to fit in to our new culture: This may include being a bit more serious when walking down the street. Tip: to avoid unwanted attention, it is best not to smile and not speak in a loud voice. Watch what Turks do; particularly if you are a woman, watch how Turkish women behave. This may be very important to help you avoid a problem. For example, a woman walking down the street smiling, especially if she is alone, may unwittingly send the wrong signals to the opposite sex.
It is important to laugh in certain settings:
If jokes are being told and have been translated from one language to another, if at all possible, try to laugh at the punch line, even if the Turkish joke hasn’t “made it” when told in English!
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Laugh when you make mistakes. When in another culture, we are learners.
When a situation arises, and it is out of your control, try to see the humor.
The other day, I had an appointment at a school. I arrived at the school on time but I could not get pass the security gate because there had been an electric cut and the gate would not go up so vehicles could pass. School buses were lined up inside the parking lot, with children to be taken to other campuses, and could not get out. Cars began to line up behind me needing to go in to the parking lot. Not to be any later, some children who were brought by their drivers or parents, just jumped out of the cars and ran towards the school building. Yes, there is lots of modern technology around, but electricity is still the power supply and needed.
Instead of fuming or getting frustrated, try to find the humor!"

by Charlotte McPherson, "Laughter- not in public", Today`s Zaman, 05.01.2006

Quoting susie k:

That's why you have to be careful who you make friends with, those Turkish girls should try to understand, any girls I am friends with, will FIRST laugh with me when I tell them and then aftewards explain why I shouldn't have done it!

Quoting juliacernat:

Quoting Melnikaite:

Susie k, thanx for reply. Do you really belive that it is possible to get friendly wiz turkish girls?We, foreign wives, are supposed to steal "good turks" from the turkish girls? Did u manage to become friendly wiz any turkish female? especially single? I managed but only wiz married one

Quoting qdemir:

I have never heard of anything that silly (I am sorry, I couldn't just help saying silly)

Quoting susie k:

Quoting Melnikaite: Quoting qdemir: I have never heard of anything that silly (I am sorry, I couldn't just help saying silly) Qdemir, u r a male.. how can u know what concern women? u have a foregn gf? u just dont know but in reality turkish girls women dislike foreign girls.. Once i was called "Rus dusmanby a woman in nikah salon!!!!

Quoting Melnikaite:

Qdemir, you act like a teen, repeating the sentences and just replacing some words

Quoting Melnikaite:

You have chosen a hard mission then

Quoting longinotti1:

Just read the messages women on this forum need translated to Turk! Watch their situations change over time.

Quoting azade:

Quoting azade:

Quoting longinotti1:

But how is what I said "stereotyping", are you saying that the translation requests are "MADE UP" by some screen writier?

Iyi Günler

Quoting Melnikaite:

Quoting Melnikaite:

Quoting longinotti1:

Quoting azade: Quoting longinotti1: Just read the messages women on this forum.....Watch them change Allah?myarabim(sp?) that's just stereotyping. What do you base it on? I'll personally be happy to prove the odds wrong 10 or even 50 years from now

Quoting Melnikaite:

Quoting sofia-gr:

you're talking about very interesting things here...

well, since i have no personal experience with turkish people & society (except for 6-7 friends of mine who come from the Muslim Minority of Thrace, thus adopt easily to the "greek" environment), i would like to ask:

* do Turkish parents always want their chilren to live with them even when they get married?

* isn't a wife allowed to do not even a small job (lets say teaching foreign languages to small groups of children or something like that). i guess i'd be very difficult from a Turkish man to give his consent for his wife to work as a doctor or something, wouldn't it?

* apart from the character, personality and the education the indvidual has received, does it play an important role the place he grew up (lets say whether he was raised in Western or in East Turkey, e.g in Istanbul, Izmir, Gaziantep or Kirikkale?)

Quoting robyn :

okkes is from maras(kahramanmaras) in south east turkey..as i said before i will soon be working whilst he stays at home and he doesn't care if i work part time because we are making the best possible life for our daughter and also helping his family by sending money there.

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting susie k:

Quoting qdemir: Quoting susie k: Quoting Melnikaite: Quoting qdemir: I have never heard of anything that silly (I am sorry, I couldn't just help saying silly) Qdemir, u r a male.. how can u know what concern women? u have a foregn gf? u just dont know but in reality turkish girls women dislike foreign girls.. Once i was called "Rus dusmanby a woman in nikah salon!!!! Qdemir obviously doesn't have much experiance of women! You either have a lot of experience of men or don't have any at all.

Quoting qdemir:

As being a man, I have a wider vocabulary of insults than you do. However I won't do that (even if you have deserved) because I have respect for all women, no matter how well behaved or polite they are as being a woman, or how much self respect they have for their womanhood.

Quoting sophie:

Quoting qdemir:

Quoting Melnikaite:

Qdemir, u r a male.. how can u know what concern women? u have a foregn gf? u just dont know but in reality turkish girls women dislike foreign girls.. Once i was called "Rus dusman" by a woman in nikah salon!!!!

Quoting karekin04:

+1 How rude to come right out and call someone stupid!!?? Its amazing the bravery people have when hiding behind a keyboard. The last time I checked a 2 year relationship didnt qualify someone as a relationship expert.

Quoting SuiGeneris:

The only thing they called you like that is not that they think you are stealing Turkish men... its just the way they think a Turkish girl would be more suitable for their son... nothing else... and its up to you to change their mind about this...

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting SuiGeneris:

What?? 2 years???
the life time of humanbeing wouldnt be enough to understand the mental structure man or woman kind, else they would have produced the "happy relationship" pills

Quoting aenigma x:

Quoting SuiGeneris:

what is right relationship?
-who decides this?

ahhh aaahhh :tired_smiley:

Quoting aenigma x:

Quote:

Quoting susie k:

OH here we go again! Karekin why do you hassle me so much!!! Do you feel threatened by me?
I said that I have been married for 2 and a half years and that my husband is happy! I didn't claim to be an expert at anything! Myself and Qdemir are talking about him calling someone silly because she is worried about Turkish girls being angry with her for being with one of their men.

Quote:

OH here we go again! Karekin why do you hassle me so much!!! Do you feel threatened by me?
I said that I have been married for 2 and a half years and that my husband is happy! I didn't claim to be an expert at anything! Myself and Qdemir are talking about him calling someone silly because she is worried about Turkish girls being angry with her for being with one of their men.

Quoting karekin04:

Quoting aenigma x:

Quote:

Quoting reBooped:

Chief Bridesmaid please...?

Quoting SuiGeneris:

Please lets move on and stop this nonsense... i dont even think that the person get the answer to her question in her first post 'difficulties for a foreign wife in Istanbul'...

Quote:

OK fair play to you! I must have read you wrongly, it was because of the pms my back was up
Lets just start again and forget it all

Quoting nastica:

may i say that a foreign wife is more interesting and lovely to a turkish man...

Quoting metehan2001:

Quoting metehan2001:

Quoting nastica:

may i say that a foreign wife is more interesting and lovely to a turkish man...

Quoting niobe:

It may be a problem=different culture, different social structure, different understanding.In my opinin it is good if a bride accepts turkish tradition.

Quoting niobe:

According to Turkish Culture, these are turkish proverbs =
-TARLANI DÃœZ AL, KADINI KIZ AL
-TAŞ TAŞ ÃœSTÃœNE OLUR, EV EV ÃœSTÃœNE OLMAZ

Quoting Capoeira:

Quoting niobe:

According to Turkish Culture, these are turkish proverbs =
-TARLANI DÃœZ AL, KADINI KIZ AL
-TAŞ TAŞ ÃœSTÃœNE OLUR, EV EV ÃœSTÃœNE OLMAZ

Quoting gezbelle:

Quoting Pizza:

Quoting gezbelle: Quoting niobe: According to Turkish Culture, these are turkish proverbs = -TARLANI DÃœZ AL, KADINI KIZ AL -TAŞ TAŞ ÃœSTÃœNE OLUR, EV EV ÃœSTÃœNE OLMAZ - take smooth fields, take woman girl - it is ok above from stone to stone, it's not ok above from house to house ok, i messed it up...

Quoting gezbelle:

Quoting Pizza: Quoting gezbelle: Quoting niobe: According to Turkish Culture, these are turkish proverbs = -TARLANI DÃœZ AL, KADINI KIZ AL -TAŞ TAŞ ÃœSTÃœNE OLUR, EV EV ÃœSTÃœNE OLMAZ - take smooth fields, take woman girl - it is ok above from stone to stone, it's not ok above from house to house ok, i messed it up... great sis tsk

Quoting aenigma x:

My proverb?

"Never marry a man who wants a "wife".
Marry him because he wants YOU "

Aenigma, February 2007

Quoting Capoeira:

Quoting Capoeira:

Quoting nastica:

Quoting Capoeira: Quoting nastica: may i say that a foreign wife is more interesting and lovely to a turkish man... OHHHH... I DETEST this mentality! Why is a foreign wife more interesting and lovely? This is soooo prejudicial against Turkish ladies. You should be ashamed of yourself. Have you been to Turkey? Have you seen those fine, drop-dead gorgeous, intelligent, and sweet ladies there? Please honey. Being foreign does NOT make a woman more beautiful, interesting or attractive to Turkish men! Maybe for a few but to put all turkish men into one category and then define their tastes....is a sure sign of immaturity!!!! Sorry, if I am rude...but I cannot stand by and watch somebody slander Turkish men, women and foreign women!

Quoting karekin04:

Quoting nastica: Quoting Capoeira: Quoting nastica: may i say that a foreign wife is more interesting and lovely to a turkish man... OHHHH... I DETEST this mentality! Why is a foreign wife more interesting and lovely? This is soooo prejudicial against Turkish ladies. You should be ashamed of yourself. Have you been to Turkey? Have you seen those fine, drop-dead gorgeous, intelligent, and sweet ladies there? Please honey. Being foreign does NOT make a woman more beautiful, interesting or attractive to Turkish men! Maybe for a few but to put all turkish men into one category and then define their tastes....is a sure sign of immaturity!!!! Sorry, if I am rude...but I cannot stand by and watch somebody slander Turkish men, women and foreign women! this sentence was special for Capoeira Very sensible person at jokes

Quoting nastica:

Quoting Capoeira: Quoting nastica: may i say that a foreign wife is more interesting and lovely to a turkish man... OHHHH... I DETEST this mentality! Why is a foreign wife more interesting and lovely? This is soooo prejudicial against Turkish ladies. You should be ashamed of yourself. Have you been to Turkey? Have you seen those fine, drop-dead gorgeous, intelligent, and sweet ladies there? Please honey. Being foreign does NOT make a woman more beautiful, interesting or attractive to Turkish men! Maybe for a few but to put all turkish men into one category and then define their tastes....is a sure sign of immaturity!!!! Sorry, if I am rude...but I cannot stand by and watch somebody slander Turkish men, women and foreign women!