Seems that most of our posts turn into sensationalism at some point...why not start off that way?

Here is my first Tabloid Post:

Femme Fatal Strikes Again

Reliable sources have revealed that Femme has been making the rounds and had "relationships" with multiple TC members. Sources also reveal that she has been seen uncovered and eating quinoa (a direct violation of rule 301....insulting Turkishness by not eating proper rice). Her ambitions know no limits as she has her sights set on being the first lady of Turkey even while carrying on an affair with an undisclosed Amerikan.

AEnigma finds a new religion?

Meanwhile, back in merry old England, AEnigma III, the reputed advice columnist and fortune teller, has been silent for several days on all issues involving politics and religion. A source close to AEnigma told TC Tabloid that she has found religion and started eating meat. What has caused this turnaround? Could a Dudu be involved? More to follow......

Catwoman....is rehab in her future?

In other news, Catwoman has signed on with Jenny Craig. It seems that her ass has gotten so big, she needs an extra large litter box. Sources close to Catwoman blame her habitual use of catnip as a reason for her constant munching. Because of her enormous size, she is rarely seen outside of her cathouse.

Is Girlee in Love?

It seems that Girleegirl has purchased several cell phones with international sms cards....the reason for this? An insider revealed that girleegirl is seeing a Dudu.

ROFLMAO

I just report the news...I don't invent it.

Oh my gosh, this is a great post I'm laughing my ass off right now. Now I don't have to purchase the National Enquirer anymore. Please keep us updated on any future breaking news on TC members.

P.S. Remember to be fair and balanced...

this is all a HUGE LIE!
i dont know where she gets her information.

there must be a leak somewhere

pls, dont believe this evil woman!

Beware if a person with a bed amerikan accent approaches you they could be spies working for the TC Tabloid

I can neither confirm nor deny early reports of my being in love. My only comment at this time is - No comment.

it's a tabloid. expect truth or lies... never the less, entertaining... hehehe....

THIS JUST IN......

Catwoman makes a play for Femme!

In her most desperate hour, Catwoman entices Femme to dump Girleegirl. Sources close to Catwoman remain mum, however, the desperate plea has been witnessed on another forum. Girlee's camp has offerd, "no comment".....


Handsome has gone hairless!

Contacts in Istanbul have confirmed the Handsome has had a complete head to toe wax job. It seems that the procedure has rendered him unrecognizable and he is now posting on forums with under an assumed user name. Details are sketchy at this time but female users should report spam from anyone claiming to be..."your hairless dream".

I wonder if handsom donated his hair to locks of love...

hahahahaha ..

hahahhahahahha lol in this class i got nothing to share but i love the wits and humor, talent of people here. REally you all make me laugh despite the pressures and stress from my work. Thank you so much!!!!!

TC TABLOID UPDATE
Week of December 23 - 30



December 26....HATE FEMME DAY

All the usual suspects joined in the annual bashing of our most toxic member....Femme Fatal. Did Femme fold under the verbal thrashings of the more open minded members of TC? Heck no...her tongue remained razor sharp as she delivered equally dazzling assaults. The only question remaining.....how do we explain the mysterious rescue of femme's honor by 2 Turkish members? Perhaps there is a darker and more sinister plot afoot? Sources in Femme's camp have remained mum about her close "TC" relationships. What other brave souls will defend the Ice Princess from the former Soviet Union....We will just have to wait and see.


Catwoman still on Catnip?

Catwoman has denied allegations of catnip use despite being seen by several other members sleeping face down in her food dish. TC Tabloid is despirately working to obtain photos of the mysterious TC member.

AEnigma to Renounce Thrown

Sources inside the Royal TC Virtual Palace have said the pressure of being TC Queen are starting to wear Her Royal Highness. Last night she was seen in a beauty salon, shaving her head and screaming inauditably. The only words that could be discerned from the rantings were....Damn you Alpha! The Queen's secretary stated that Her Royal Highness has been distaught over the constant pressure to be clever.

Handsome seen scratching like a Madman.....

Since Handsome went hairless he has become a horrible itchy mess. Who is scratching his itch? Could it be Femme? Handsome has remained silent on the issue.

Girleegirl...."I wasnt'concerned"

Has Femme's toxicity rubbed off on Girlee? Has the sting of Femme's infidelity left Girlee grumpy? Judging from the tone of recent forum posts, it seems she is ready to join a new gang...the grumpiest of them all...the Bed Amerikan Catholics. Who will join this gang of TC zealots? Teas?

Thanks for the update, reporter Elisabeth. I loved it, better than any magazine I could have bought. As for the Bed Amerikan Catholic Gang, I would love to join..I even searched for my plaid skirt, back in the day. I'm reporting to you however, my fat ass no longer fits in it. Just another excuse to go shopping. Maybe I'll see Aenigma trying on wigs at the mall. Better yet, handsom could donate some of his hair, if Aenigmas doesn't grow back.

UPDATE

It has been confirmed that AEnigma, who is strangely absent at the moment, has been seen wearing a short dark wig. We are not able to confirm whether or not the donor was thehandsome but TC Tabloid speculates that thehansome has ditched his amore of 2 days, Femme, for the affections of our frazzled Queen. A "friend" of the Queen stated that Her Royal Highness is "aglow with the sudden rush of cleverness". Perhaps her "handsome headdress" is responsible for the sudden change.

Mark twain"if people talk about u it means u r still alive"
Long live to u FF)))

agree but FF is a salt of this soil)))

Alpha Rejects Elisabeth!

In a most humiliating and upsetting turn of events, the decidedly grumpy Alpha has rejected the devilishly amusing Elisabeth on a public forum. Will her broken heart ever mend? Will she finally find a faithful Dudu? or will she continue to humiliate herself with offers of cell phones to entice the cranky Turk? Will she ever be able to put the trauma of mixing up old monks behind her?


Femme and Alameda are really BFF!

In a shocking and earth shattering revelation, the pair was seen dining together at a posh Tofu Restaurant and shopping on Rodeo Drive. The two seemed chummy as they strolled from shop to shop. Alameda is despirately trying to squash rumors that she has purchased a large diamond while femme's camp vehemently denies even being in California.

KeithL...on the sick and injured list again!

In an amazing feat of human strength Keith has survived yet another attack from viruses unknown. Sources close to Keith insist that he eats well and get plenty of rest, however the TC paparazzi has taken several pictures of Keith having fun in various Istanbul hot spots. When will the madness stop...when will he just stay home and eat the chicken soup that this reporter is well aware he has the recipe for?

Ahh Elizabeth, my heart goes out to you. I know too well the feeling of being rebuffed…as you have so delicately reported.
I wonder……Is it possible that the wily femme has woven her magic spell over your beloved alfie and taken him from you?
Perhaps that should be the path of a new investigation……just a suggestion…..it has nothing to do with femme’s spurning of my affections……I simply want you to have the peace of mind of the truth!!!

Thanks girlee for your kind words. It is so difficult to write about my own situation as you can imagine, but alas, I must be truthful and objective even if it is about me. I don't know if Femme is behind my dear sweet Alphie's rejection but I am sure once he has time to reflect on everything he is giving up, he will change his mind. I have sent cell phones, money, clothes, iPods, laptops....sooner or later he will realize the truth. Hopefully he will start PMing me again soon and we will be as happy as ever.

Let me say this very clearly. I love my city and my country. Its good to be home and enjoying my friends and family so long. This has been my longest stay in the US since 2001.