I have posted a part of this article in response to the forum topic "Welcoming the new year in Taksim Square." I think it is a really very nice article so I am posting the whole article here.


Sex and the City
Attila Pelit
(2005-08-14)






As they say, when in Rome do as the Romans do, but first you should know how the Romans do it. We begin by taking a look at some aspects of sexuality in the city.


Like any major city, Istanbul is a temptress. It draws people in from all over, seducing each and every one with its beauties and its vices, its forbidden pleasures and its insincere promises. Naturally, in a city as diverse as Istanbul, there are many different approaches to sexuality, and among Turks in particular there are certain sexual idiosyncrasies which predominate and which may come as a surprise to many.







Recycled taboos



To begin with, girls from a conservative religious background in Turkey are taught from early on to consider sex something sinful and dangerous, something merely functional, only done for the sake of procreation, and certainly not something that could possibly be pleasurable. They are taught – often forced – to cover up and to shun the company of men (who are considered sexually incontinent, and thus dangerous), be it on the street, in school or in the workplace. Even girls from a relatively modern and secularist background will have hang-ups on sex as being something demeaning, shameful and dirty, often thinking that engaging in anything other than straight, missionary sex is something that would only be expected of prostitutes. For example, many Turkish girls frown upon alternative styles of sex which would seem normal in many sexually liberal societies (e.g. oral) and in every census it is found that the greatest problem among Turkish women is their inability to experience orgasms, which would seem a natural result of the disinformation, fear and taboos toward sex that is instilled in them from an early age.







When it comes to males, they’re essentially under the assumption that there are only two types of women: mothers (including their own future spouses) and whores. In other words, sex for males too is something that is still considered dangerous and vicious if engaged in only for pleasure and not within the confines of the institution of family and marriage. Thus it’s not at all odd to find men who will date a girlfriend while at the same time having sex with numerous others without feeling the slightest ethical concern, considering he differentiates between the women who are “pure,” “virginal” and thus marriage material, from the ones who engage in sex, which is something “impure,” “dirty” and “depraved,” but at the same time a need that must be satisfied. This attitude – a sort of sexual schizophrenia – even exists among relatively westernized, educated males, who will strictly delineate between the “girl to marry” and the “girl to have sex with.” The fact that often in censuses the number one problem cited among married Turkish men is erectile dysfunction is a telling reminder that many relationships – men and women – are suffering from these attitudes to sex whereby the wife is not seen as a sexual object of desire and pleasure but as a manifestation of the mother figure, thus complicating the process of having a healthy married sex life. A further look at the popularity and proliferation of foreign women (often called natashas) as prostitutes in Turkey reinforces this sexually schizophrenic categorization whereby the woman is divorced of one part of her nature (sexuality) or the other (procreation/mother/wife).







Sexual psychosis



Even though the westernized and modern segments of society are more liberal and open in their approach to sexuality, it’s obvious that most Turks are still in a dilemma on the topic. In many cases these stringent sexual taboos have created a sense of sexual psychosis in Turkish society. Considering such attitudes, it’s often no wonder that we see such mind-boggling violence as “honor killings” where young boys are encouraged to kill their own sisters, often on nothing more than a rumor as to her “looseness,” or we see cases of adolescents blatantly harassing women in public, something which was most startlingly demonstrated during the New Years festivities in Taksim square when some Croatian tourist girls were molested, taunted, groped and even knocked over in the middle of the square by a mob of laughing revelers, all of which made the front pages in some of the biggest newspapers in Turkey. But this is just the most extreme manifestation of a widespread phenomenon of the objectification of women as either “mother” or “whore.” Many women are daily molested, followed, manhandled, verbally and physically harassed – and sometimes much worse. Women who are “modern,” who dress “openly,” or who are simply foreign/western, are often assumed by Turkish males to be “easy” and thus willing for sex and obvious targets for advances, even if it goes to the point of harassment and violence.







In a developing country of discernible have’s and have-not’s like Turkey where the income distribution gap is wide and widening, some parts of society have a standard of living and way of life on a par with the most modern societies, while other classes live distinctly different lives in which they have no possibility of accessing private schools and hospitals (which are the best in Turkey), in which they are increasingly conscious of themselves as the under-classes, as alienated and estranged elements of society in which they are between being rural and urban in a state of socio-cultural limbo. They are often ridiculed by the westernized elite as “kiro” or “maganda,” they are shunned and forced to live marginal existences on the fringes of the dominant popular culture, the culture that is upheld by the mainstream media, by the press, television, newspaper and magazine culture where every day the underprivileged see glamorous, scantily-clad women who inhabit a world beyond their reach. The sexual taboos and traditions they have been brought up with – many of them first or second generation migrants to Istanbul from rural Anatolian towns – clash with the sexually free, alluring, seductive life all around them, the models on TV, the glamorous girls in nightclubs where they’re not allowed in, the faces in the papers, in magazines and in the movies, everything that they can see but never have and never touch. The commodification of sex and its use as a marketing and advertising tool by businesses and media further add to the feeling of alienation and estrangement felt and instilling the feeling in large segments of the population of being cultural outsiders in their own country. The result is a societal psychosis whereby the fringe elements assume a counter-identity and an aggressive counter-assertion of their own sexuality which comes off even more extreme, alien and intractable. That which cannot be had is despised, dehumanized, yet desired all the more strongly for it precisely because of its exclusiveness.







Who are you calling gay?



Homosexuality is a complex issue in Turkey. But in a sexually repressed and conservative society, there is an aspect to Turkish conceptions of homosexuality which facilitates an overcoming of the very same repressive ideological systems which give rise to it in the first place: namely, that in Turkish homosexuality, only the passive partner in a relationship is considered “gay.” This can often be baffling to foreigners, but two men can have intimate sexual relations and the active partner can claim exclusion from the label of “gay.” This attitude is certainly not something new. In fact, it can be traced back to the ancient Greeks among whom homosexuality between two grown men was shunned whereas it was considered natural for a man and a boy to have homosexual relations – although this was more for pedagogic purposes than sexual, considering there was no public education system in the Greek polis. The onus among the Greeks was on sexual overindulgence, in line with the ancient Greek ideal of “sophresune” which roughly meant the ideal of “moderation,” or a “middle way” in all pursuits. Once the boy had become a man (i.e. had grown facial hair), the relationship was usually over (at least publicly).







The same attitude seems to have passed on through the years in Anatolia, through the time of the Ottomans (who prized young boys above girls – who belonged to the private sphere of the household – as did the Greeks) and into our present day. In fact, the words “oglan” (boy) and “ibne” (from the Arabic “ibn” for “son” or “boy”) show an obvious continuation of almost the same concept of homosexuality in present-day Turkey. The significance of this within the conservative Turkish society is quite important, because it has meant that in a country where the women’s sphere is still mainly considered the private (home) domain and thus where premarital sex between youths is shunned, there has always existed the alternative option of homosexual sex which can be engaged in without the active partner taking upon himself the “stigma” of being homosexual, that is, an “oglan” or an “ibne.” This also explains the amazing proliferation of transvestite men who are courted by many a “straight” man for the purposes of sexual gratification. Indeed when we asked some of these men is they considered themselves gay, they immediately reacted with an emphatic “no” and stated that they never touched the other person’s penis, nor did they ever engage in a passive role, and thus excluded themselves from being categorized as homosexual.







Sex in the city



We have compiled some glimpses into the various aspects of sex in Istanbul in the following articles. You can read up on transvestites, homosexuals, historical contexts, the seedy underworld of mafia-run bordellos, or the slick nightclub scene, strip joints and erotic stores. Istanbul has a bit of everything, for better or for worse. It’s a good idea to know about what’s out there and be wary, but it’s even more important to remember that sex is simply fun, and sex in this city is no exception to that fact.

Do you remember how the complete Taksim Square glared up in bright lights, when 10 British football hooligans bared their asses simultaneously?

Those were the 10 brightest rear ends this city ever saw; that is what I call civilisation !

Good post zbrct. Thanks!!

Another civilised ass barer!

YOU SAID IT, ALPHA

This civilised ass barer comes with weird questions, a poem and flowers in his hands...

can we turn to a new page!

I am just CLEARLY ASKING?
ARE THEY NOT TRUE?
Do you disagree what is written in the original article?
What is it got to do with being traiter?

Interesting article, thanks for posting it.

This website goes from bad to worse lately, my God, what's going on? what happened with all the friendliness of the old days ...?!! At least when Erdinç was here he tried to moderate the forums but many people disliked him because of that and now you see!!!... I REALLY miss him

femme_fatal I pity you...You just come here to insult people or make fun of everything that is posted here , DO YOU REALLY HAVE A LIFE OF YOUR OWN?????? dont you have anything else to do other than offending people?
Dont you realize THAT NOBODY WANTS YOU TO STAY HERE???????????????????????????????

Let's start a petition! I've already set my mark. It would be nice if the site was more focused on language as it was when I first joined the site

hey hey i want her to stay this site would be like black and white films witout her

welll yes she is so harsh sometimes, she insults people including me and i dont like her oppinions so much but still this site would be so dull wihtout her

btw: femme, i dont like you

Sure, Femme's opinions can be harsh, however....saying that NOBODY wants her here is unfair and simply not true. Some of us enjoy raw honesty that does not hide behind propriety.

Femme, I would give you a hug, but I am afraid you will scratch my eyes out....

yeah,yeah Femme_ is super-duper, don't throw her away, please!

The problem is that foamy is NOT anti-Turkish. She's anti stupidity... but since freedom of speech is a known problem in Turkey, any criticism of Turkey meets with the above reactions. Read the thread about Say's website being shut down JUST BECAUSE of an interview he gave in Germany in which he criticized the government!!! It's appaling.

Terbiyesizlik, saygısızlık, kabalık ne zamandan beri gerçekçilik ya da dürüstlük oldu? Herkes fikrini söyleyebilir herkes bir fikre karşı çıkabilir ama kimsenin bir milleti aşağılamaya saygısızlık yapmaya hakkı yok. Femme Fatal denen bu zavallı kadının belliki işi gücü yok her başlıkta itinayla huzursuzluk çıkarıyor. Ama onu kale alıp cevap verenlerde kabahat. Çok sevdiğim bir deyim var Türkçede 'it ürür kervan yürür'. Biz ciddiye alıp bu şahısa cevap verdiğimiz sürece kendisini önemli zannetmeye ve huzursuzluk çıkarmaya devam edecektir.Bu yüzden bu ilk ve son mesajımdır.

Başlık konusuna dönecek olursak Taksimde'ki kutlamalar güvenlik sebebiyle iptal edilmiş.

Dear Prym, please write in English. Thank you.

http://www.turkishclass.com/TurkishClassRulesAndTerms.php

I agree with freedom of opinion obviously, but it indeed seems as if some people here are just 'misusing' this freedom. That you give your opinion does not mean that you have to insult others with it.

I also don't think you should use something completely different from this discussion to attack someone else (like saying that someone gave up studying Turkish very early, what has that to do with this discussion at all? Is your Turkish any better femme?...)

I think in the end, forget the idea that TC will be dull without her, but where is the tolerance, where is the freedom of speech?
I dont agree with what she says about eastern cultures, palestine-israel confilict, Iraq etc. But, in the end, she is just expressing her opinion!! And nothing is wrong with it at all..
Well, she is argumentative, she is harsh, she knows how to write. But she is just telling us what she really thinks!!
I am not going to say I like her ideas but she deserves respect.
And for the Turks who think, femme insults Turkishness, please guys.. Dont you have any ideas to defend your pride, your country? If your turkishness is that weak, let it be crushed!! It deserves to be crushed..

Femme..you must be feeling so touched see..even handsom protected you

Hey everybody, let's get back to Sex and the City! It's far more interesting then Femme!

People who cannot respond to the arguments, attack the person. Why is it that all you people don't see the things that foamy is "insulting" and instead you think it's her that's that problem? I don't agree with everything she says, but I see the point that she's trying to say... I think it's the strength of her arguments that bothers you so much, because there's nothing reasonable and equally strong that you can respond with. Weak ideas can only be preserved by force.

I think the case is the other way around. Well sort of. Femme has both hotheaded arguments and insults. If she focused more on sticking to her points and less on putting people in stereotype boxes then maybe the debates here would be more rewarding (and FUN) for everyone around here.

This is not fair actually since it's not just femme it's loads of people lately

Got you Fem! I do not hate everything Western and praise everything Eastern. You are ascribing attributes and actions to me that are false. I protest.

Oh my god! A whole thread dedicated to discussion about femme!!! Her majesty will be so flattered!!

Femme is my main reason for coming to this site. I can assure you she (and I for that matter) are insulted far more often than she ever insults others. If people think "insulting2 is to speak your mind and criticise, then they need to go out into the real world

It is very annoying that she is getting all this attention though - is she trying to steal my crown?

Wow !..I am away for a day, and everyone is at each others' throats.

I had never realised my own significance as a peace keeper around here...

Insult is a subjective feeling, therefore a responsibility if the individual to handle it. As long as I have a valid point in criticising you, I am free to express it.

catwoman must always have the last word, whether it makes sense or not.

Anything you say afterwards is the start of a new discussion.

Oh get off your high horse. I think we all encourage intelligent discourses offtopic or not, but lately there's been almost no such thing here.
Now about using the site to learn turkish that's one of the main purposes. Anyone able to handle intelligent discourses are free to join the site, of course, I'm just saying it would be nice to see more genuine interest here. That can't be forced of course but stopping the violation of rules 8-10 can

This is exactly what I'm talking about!
" "
You found something in my post to mock and then ignored the actual message. Aferin kızım

Hadi iyi geceler

So did I.

Why do not we talk about the content of the article?

Especially our nationalist Turkish friends should relax.The sense of being surrounded by enemies should be over. I know you are taught that everbody but Turks are your enemies. But please you should give up those nationalistic sentiments.

Looks like I missed out on alot of action during the holidays. As far as misspelled words, insults etc...I have to give Femme more credit than some members here, she at least makes more sense than most..For you Femme

lets get back to the thread of zbrct!
enough femming!

whats azade's opinion on the subject i wonder

what about alameda?
does alameda agree with the article or shes rather on the side of nationalists or maybe she had no opinion at all?

Well first of all I think the author has a vibrant vocabulary. Describing a city like foreplay. Anyhow, it would make it interesting to continue reading if only it wasn't that this trick of luring has been seen before.

As a general concept I think the “girl to marry” versus “girl to have sex with" thought is true but he is taking it way to far in his interpretation, except when he talks about sex in the media where I think he is right on the spot. The passage about homosexuality is a real mystery to me but I'm just gonna go with big imagination. He touches some important aspects but his conclusions are way overboard. He probably also thinks that Oedipus wanted to get laid with his mother

Now everyone go watch Avrupa Yakası That show touches many of the aspects dealt with in this article. And it's fun, too!

Does anyone else have a take on this? Femme is right we kind of owe it to zbrct after 13 pages of nonsense

In response to the article i thought it was insightful and interesting all be it a little quick to tar everyone with the same brush at times however i can see how it is easy to fall into the trap generalisations because it is difficult to talk of people i.e. more than a single persons situation without doing so.

I was not aware of some of the points raised in the paragraph relating to homosexuality,its news to me! However as azade said some of the points about women being seen in such dichotomies as either whore or mother/marriage material is true.Especially if you listen to some Turks talking about women they know nothing or very little of and yet love to label her a whore or prostitute when she may be nothing of the sort. There is also the issue of the media and the fact that whenever you watch Turkish television it always stirkes me that there is this conflicting problem of the famous women or models,singers etc are seen as beautiful and praised for their work and often seen as sexual objects and by that i mean something to say ''whoah look at her'' etc but when it comes to a woman in the 'real world' that is wearing something similar then she is called a tart.This always confuses me but i suppose this is adressed in the article when the writer talks about a certain level of hypocrisy being displayed.

fem get to the point instead of throwing trash at others yet again! What is YOUR take on the article? Sera raised a very good point in #137, why don't you take a stand on that instead of playing your old tricks?
I said what I think of it because you requested it, tabii ki what I said was shallow because I didn't care much for it. It didn't stand out. Heard it many times before.

You are avoiding the topic AGAIN. If you have anything to say to me send a pm! You wanted to talk about sex and the city so do it! I'm not replying to your insults anymore.

I you will find that we have been nothing but polite.We are asking you to stop making personal attacks not carrying them on!

Mary Magdalene
http://www.thetruthaboutdavinci.com/faq/mary-magdalene-term.html


Brown’s treatment of Mary Magdalene is sheer delusion. In The Da Vinci Code, she’s no penitent whore but Christ’s royal consort and the intended head of His Church, supplanted by Peter and defamed by churchmen. She fled west with her offspring to Provence, where medieval Cathars would keep the original teachings of Jesus alive. The Priory of Sion still guards her relics and records, excavated by the Templars from the subterranean Holy of Holies. It also protects her descendants—including Brown’s heroine.

Although many people still picture the Magdalen as a sinful woman who anointed Jesus and equate her with Mary of Bethany, that conflation is actually the later work of Pope St. Gregory the Great. The East has always kept them separate and said that the Magdalen, “apostle to the apostles,” died in Ephesus. The legend of her voyage to Provence is no earlier than the ninth century, and her relics weren’t reported there until the 13th. Catholic critics, including the Bollandists, have been debunking the legend and distinguishing the three ladies since the 17th century.

Brown uses two Gnostic documents, the Gospel of Philip and the Gospel of Mary, to prove that the Magdalen was Christ’s “companion,” meaning sexual partner. The apostles were jealous that Jesus used to “kiss her on the mouth” and favored her over them. He cites exactly the same passages quoted in Holy Blood, Holy Grail and The Templar Revelation and even picks up the latter’s reference to The Last Temptation of Christ. What these books neglect to mention is the infamous final verse of the Gospel of Thomas. When Peter sneers that “women are not worthy of Life,” Jesus responds, “I myself shall lead her in order to make her male.... For every woman who will make herself male will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Are you guys behaving yourselves tonight?
I am around, but busy with other extremely evil issues.
Cant chaperone you tonight...)))))))))))

One piece at a time...that is the only rule...

Scorsese/Hershey's Magdalene on Screen

[13]Frame by frame, Scorsese and Hershey reveal the implications of their complete disregard of Magdalene's being beyond the prostitute stock character. In The Last Temptation of Christ (LTC), Scorsese gives Magdalene more screen time than other biblical films, past or present. In fact, she and Judas function as main characters in the movie. Unfortunately, much like the fate of most female characters in Hollywood, LTC's Magdalene soon finds her place among the litany of Scorsese film women-wives, mothers or mistresses who mostly suffer in silence and provide temporary distractions for the male protagonists. In addition to historical inaccuracies, Magdalene's characterization on screen underscores how sexuality is represented differently for men and women, especially in Western Christianity. While Jesus (Man) can serve as universal signifier for humanity, his sexual drives the norm, women are not supposed to have sexual drives, the model for sexuality being the Virgin Mary (Woman), who remains unscathed by desire. Therefore, women associated with sexuality (Magdalene) must occupy the position of "fallen woman," a staple of Western patriarchal narratives. When Scorsese casts Magdalene within the discourse of "fallen woman," he renders her a symbol of men's temptation. Schaberg articulates the significance of this assignment: "Reduced to her sexuality, she is . . . blamed for provoking sexual desire . . ., often the target of male sexual aggression and hostility, moral outrage, and condemnation."40 Within this conceptual framework, Magdalene the prostitute is viewed as seductress, victim or entrepreneur, which not only greatly reduces the complexity surrounding prostitution but also the scholarly evidence about her apostolic authority. However, as Andrea Dworkin argues, even without demonizing prostitutes, most people are ambivalent and uncomfortable thinking about the nature of prostitution because of the realization that "male domination of the female body is the basic material reality of [all] women's lives."41 From this perspective, whatever agency Scorsese/Hershey may have envisioned for Magdalene as the world's most famous prostitute is quickly thwarted by the historical stigma she embodies in the popular imagination, making her an archetype of sin rather than spirituality and agency. Such a status not only diminishes Magdalene's significance and complexity, but also articulates far-reaching consequences for women trapped in the same one-dimensionality of being.

[14] Many third wave feminist scholars remind us that the concept of prostitute has meaning only within the patriarchal ideology in which such forms of work carry a stigma generated from double standards of sexual morality and negative attitudes to sex.42 Debra Satz, for example, argues that "if prostitution is wrong it is because of its effects on how men perceive women and on how women perceive themselves. In our society, prostitution represents women as the sexual servants of men."43 Satz conjectures that the negative image of women promoted by prostitution "shapes and influences the way women as a whole are seen"44 Satz's view is dramatized within the first five minutes of LTC when Magdalene's character is introduced. Magdalene appears as a marked body, immediately signifying the male gaze. A close-up of Magdalene's feet covered with henna tattoos transitions into a pan up her body into a close-up of her face as she spits in Jesus' face. The tattoos reinforce her inferior status and highlight how Jesus (and society) perceives her. Hershey used the tattoos as part of her backstory, explaining that Magdalene is trying to "make herself despicable because she's trying to be the lowest of the low."45The tattoos would give "a feeling of a woman marking herself. And yet, they were beautiful."46While one might read the tattoos as Magdalene's attempt to control her body under the most extreme circumstances, to express herself, mapping her rebellion onto a body bound by patriarchy, this interpretation ultimately disintegrates within the film's gendered environment.

http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G1-143027237.html

Chaperone - a person (as a matron) who for propriety accompanies one or more young unmarried women in public or in mixed company
or an older person who accompanies young people at a social gathering to ensure proper behavior

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaperone

thank you Roswitha, i found it, too.
sort of a garde-dame.

I love the bag pipes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bagpipes

Who made who, who made you...

I'm starting to have flash backs now, am I telling my age. The good old days in the mystery machine, with the munchies. Let's see ACDC, Led Zepplin, Janis Joplin and I can't forget the Doors.. oh and another favorite Def Leopard..

Portokal, are you in the mood for rock?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpzV_0l5ILI

Ros, it's all relevant to the topic. Sex and rock n roll.

for Portokal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvWl9XHPvj4

Teaschip and Portokal, wake up: Young Turks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tS8SyiXn-o