It is interesting to see your interpretation of my words....you did not get it at all. Your understanding of my words leaves me speechless....but let me make an attempt to clarify....
NUMBER 1 I never ever have advocated for any type of forced marriage.
NUMBER 2 I never ever have advocated for any type of forced marriage.
NUMBER 3 I never ever have advocated for any type of forced marriage.
NUMBER 4 I never ever have advocated for any type of forced marriage.
NUMBER 5 I never ever have advocated for any type of forced marriage.
Now....is that clear??????
Regarding arranged marriage.....given all the dating sites, it is obvious people feel they need some outside help. Today they use technology, yesterday they used their family members. The outcome is the same thing.
....Maybe you did not need any help...maybe your met your spouse came from a thunderbolt....however many people do need help.....they want to know something about the person they are going to get involved with. It depends on what one is looking for, if you want to find a spouse you want to have an idea of who the person is, what is their background? If you have a family that you love and want to keep in your life, compatability should not be just the couple, but the family also should be considered, and I stand by that. Trying to be a couple on an island isn´t easy, people need help.....and one´s family is often a good place to get that assistance from.
How many women have had their bad boy experience....? ...and there are the men who have their sexpot...who is not really a good marriage choice. Too many have married for hormones, only to realize later it wasn´t a great decision. As with any important decision, a second opinion is not a bad idea.
The current method of finding a mate in "Western" cultures is to try things out, sort of on a hit or miss basis.....maybe marriage enters the picture, many times not. I know many women who have children, but aren´t ready to get married. Some are even going to sperm banks to be inseminated, they don´t want to bother with having a husband. I can´t say I find that situation desirable. Yes, I am old fashioned in as much as I do think children do best in famlies that have parents.
As for love, I´m all for love...but there are different kinds of love. The love that is based on lust does not often last. Marriage based on compatibility and commitment to being married does.
I´m sorry to have to tell you, your memory is very flawed, and you have no place to stand when it comes to talking about freedom and independence...you who are perfectly happy letting a 12 year old girl go through a body scanner which in effect does a strip search and is recorded.....and in addition to that you have taken what you misunderstood and extrapolated on it into a direction that I most definitely had no intention of going.
Now I wonder how you will twist my words this time?
It´s interesting to see that you don´t read my post but still reply to them. A few posts above yours I put the following sentence:
Number 1 You may argue that forced and arranged are different, but they´re not
Number 2 You may argue that forced and arranged are different, but they´re not
Number 3 You may argue that forced and arranged are different, but they´re not
Number 4 You may argue that forced and arranged are different, but they´re not
Number 5 You may argue that forced and arranged are different, but they´re not
Hey! That´s fun - I mean, a tad childish but fun
I´ll capitalise it, although I am not shouting. I´m just out of ideas how to put it across to be understood:
IF YOU WERE BROUGHT UP IN A SOCIETY THAT BELIEVES ARRANGED MARRIAGES ARE A NORM, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A FREE CHOICE - EVEN IF YOUR FAMILY DOESN´T FORCE TO MARRY BY PUTTING A GUN TO YOUR HEAD, YOU FEEL SOCIAL OBLIGATION TO FOLLOW WHAT YOUR FAMILY CHOOSES FOR YOU. ALSO, YOU KNOW IF YOU DISAGREE, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
offf - I hope that was clear!
So, basically I got this right the first time and you suddenly got all shouty and rude. I don´t get it!
Correct me if I´m wrong, but you do claim that families know better and arrangement works better than a decision based on hormones, right? - since in the evil west it´s hit or miss, then, obviously, in the fair east it works better. Or am I missing something here?
I never claimed to be an expert on independence or freedom. What i believe in is choice - you don´t want a scan, you don´t fly. You don´t want to marry - your family does not think you´re a rebel, and you´re able to live your life alone, support yourself, get a partner or a test-tube baby. Just because you are the one that makes choices.
How did I twist your words this time?
Busyb - ok, so playing with colourful dust is ok, but forcing people to marry isn´t? i can go with that
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