You know Daydreamer...pulling posts out of context really is not that honest a strategy. Why didn´t you include the thread names so things can be read in context?
Anyway.....nobody is asking you or anyone here to be in an arranged marriage. I admit, some are tragic, and not all work, but I have seen hundreds of them....and most have worked very well. I have also seen hundreds of "Western" marriages, most of which failed only to lead to 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th...and on marriages...with traumatized children scattered all over the place.
I´ve seen hundreds of lonely old people abandoned old people....whose children have gone off and abandoned their parents.....it breaks your heart. I´ve seen many an old bachelors and bachelorette (aka) spinsters....with nobody to care for them.
I speak from experience, from what I have seen in the flesh, not some hypothetical analysis.
Fine, I shall repeat no more. Instead, I went through the trouble and collected a few of your posts in the past. All from your archive - check it if you please. You can clearly see, it is NOT my opinion that you advocate arranged marriages - it is your own words
Raindrops:
so most of pre-arranged marriages are happy?
Alameda:It does seem to be that way. The actual state of marriage is held in high esteem. Rather than looking to "fall in love" and maybe get married, the process is to find a compatible mate and work on being lovable......or working to inspire love in one´s mate.
Alameda: Doesn´t it occour to you the compatibility of the whole group is an issue? You paint such a dreary picture. Just how many arranged marriages are you familiar with? In these type societies the health of the whole family unit is of primary importance.
you have a problem with that? I don´t..live a little and you will discover the benefits of having family support. No man is an island...nor are any couples.
Alameda: I don´t know how many "arranged marriages" you have observed at close range, but from my observation, most actually work out pretty well.
Well ...how many ?
Alameda: In many cultures marriageable youth do not date, thus the opportunities to "fall in love" are minimized. That is not really such a bad idea.
Yes, some cultures believe in chastity, or at least discretion, others do not....
Alameda: Well the fact is most arranged marriages work out quite well. Given the state of marriage in the West, I really don´t think you have anything to talk about. You really don´t understand the process, so you think it´s horrible. The fact of the matter the West is actually starting to change and we now see a proliferation of match making services and sites.
Thousands of sites helping people find compatible mates....and more growing....hmmm....must be something there...would you think?
AEnigma to Alameda: "You now write three paragraphs about having a soulmate and being loved and needing a mate. However, the last time we discussed marriage you were saying that you should not marry for love, but for family compatibility and having shared culture and interests - in fact, advocating arranged marriages! "
Alameda: In Western cultures, marriages are not particularly successful. Add to that mixture the children of failed marriages and the whole thing looks even bleaker.
Alameda: The idea of marriage centered on only a couple in "love" is not really the best foundation on which to build a marriage. Traditional marriages have been ones where one expects to become in love after marriage, not before.
Obviously, you know nothing about that....there are more than one types of love. Haven´t you thought you were in love, only to fall out later. I´d rather not fall into anything.