i had a lover in turkey and we met about one year and a half before..he always says he loves me and i love him too much but when i asked him if he wants to marry me his answers made me too disappointed cuz he say he wont marry before 30.. he says HAYATIMI YAŞAYACAĞIM KARI DIRDIRI ÇEKEMEM..now we are twenty years old...i am planning to go turkey 2 years later after my university and marry him and get the citizenship of turkey to live with him...but now all vanished....if we dont marry i couln't get the citizenship ... if i wait him untill 30 years old then he says he dont love me what can i do? a 30 yaers old woman who wants?
Any one pls tell me your opinion about this whether is it worth to wait him..
i am so sad these days.

"Çok acı ama gerçek...Sen giderken nasıl gülümseyebilirim...Buna katlanabilecek miyim? Bunu gerçekten bilmiyorum...Keşke sana hiç rastlamasaydım...Eğer bilmek istiyorsan...Gitmeni hiç istemiyorum...Çünkü ağlamak istemiyorum,ağlamak yerine sana elveda canım demeliyim.."

finally pls reply me in english cuz my turkish fazla yok..teşekkürler...

thanks fo your opinion

Hello chihiro,
I am sorry for what you are going through.But I want to tell you be brave and face the life.It is not fairy tail all the time.There is many things in life.You are very young and all life is ahead of you.Why you think it is over, and who is gonna want 30 years old .In first place, if you have to ask my opinion, you do not have to wait for him.Why you think you have to do that.Especially he told you he is not ready for marriage.I think it is true.He is only 20.What he can do.I don't think he is ready to take all responsibilities.Sui is right,it is serious step in life and espesially for you.New place, new culture.Do you think you can handle all this at ounce.Marriage by itself is very serious step.Please think twice.In 10 years you are gonna have so many similar situations in your life.
Just live your life in full, time show you everything.
I wish you all the best.
Regards Bliss

Hi Chihiro
As i know turkish men prefer to marry girls, because of the family. Turkish moms think that only turkish girl can be good for her little boy.
Anyway, "something is ending and somwething begin" hope even if the end of this your story will be not good at the same time will start other pretty story.
Just want to say that everything is changing in this world specially human

ı agree wıth everythıng everyone else has saıd.
First - 30? Too old for anything. No, No, No.
But
Live your life. You don't live in Turkey. Don't sit and do nothing. You can wait 10 years of living a normal life and see what happens.
I think at least he is being honest with you. Many girls on this site have had experiences where the boy wants to marry them immediately (often with a visa in their sights).

On the other hand, maybe he is playing the old 'hard to get' game. If he tells you he doesn't want to marry you yet, maybe you'll be begging him and he'll say 'ok - if that's what you want?' Be careful!

i was just about to say what the last person said, i bet you if you put on a brave face, say you dont want to wait and you need to find someone who will want to be with you now and not need to wait, tell him you want to split up, i am pretty sure he will make out like ok he doesnt want to lose you when it could all be a trap to manipulate you so you feel you are lucky to have him and he can get what he wants.

Thanks for everyone's opinion...but too sad ..bizi ayrıldık...this time is i say to him...he says why?i say cuz u dont wanna marry...i say ok we are finished....he even dont have any sad emotion he just say ok....ah...too simple too immediate answer...too hurt...i really loves him but i wish i could forget him within this ten years and accept another boy proposion....ama çok zor...onu çok seviyorum..hayat yalan söylüyor...neden hayat bu kadar acımasız:'(....ın these days moralım bozulmak i wanna suicide.....

Sorry to hear you are going through a sad time. I don't have many words really but in time you might look back and be glad it all ended. Sometimes when I look back on my life I am glad I changed something in my life because in the end it all worked out for the very best. I know that seems a million miles away right now but just go day by day. Pain does get less with time.
Hang in there & hope you feel better soon.

dont speak anything of suicide. heart ache is hard, very hard, but time makes it better. if he is so easy with it then he is not the one for you who will love you always and want to make you happy. be strong and be postitve. you will be alright