Thanks Kelley,
I am educated in psychology (and some say that I am a 'know all' )
I am also a counsellor in my job.

all u have to do, is be very strong..
the day i left my bf in trabzon airport after our beautiful holiday in my village... omg... it was one of the hardest things if not, the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my whole life. that last split second, where my hand touched his for the last time until the next time i see him. actually having him in my arms a few moments before,and at last being alone. yet again, leaving turkey behind me. and walking through those gates by myself... away from everything i loved and desired for.
but now i know, always thinking like this, just makes one feel so much worse... and it doesnt get one anywhere, apart from in a terrible state where u just want to forget everything, even life.
feeling like this, actually caused my bf to try and commit suicide on sevral occassions. he always talked about killing himslef because he didnt want to carry on without me, he told me how he used to walk to school, and see the cars speeding accross the road next to him, and what would happen if he just jumped in front of one. and then there were the times where all i could do was watch himslit his arms on the webcam because he said that he loved me so much, would do anything and everything for me, and didnt want to carry on now that i had left him. and then there was the overdose... yeah... and even though deep down, i knew that he was only doing all of these things because of how much he cared about me, there became a point where i just thought, "omg, what if somthing ever went wrong? would he just want to kill hiself? do i always have tolive in fear of what he might doif i ever stopped loving him?" and thats when i made him promise to me that he would never do anything like this again. and i too know, that suicide is not the answer. im sure god didnt give us the gift of life so we could kill ourselves. its definitely not an option one should consider. and i made my bf realise this. i told him that we have to be patient, belive in ourselves and have trust in god and we will then have whatever we desire. and although living without him is hard, i understand that at the moment there is nothing i can do, apart from what has been forementioned...

Never have a thought of marrying a man who says he isn'T ready. That's why men are supposed to propose marriage. You get? Because before 30s, for men themselves are the center of their lifes, their carrier, building up their future, their social position etc...are the most important. Having a woman as a life partner is deifnitely the second step. I think men are very selfish at the age of 20s. They never want to feel a pressure, they can't do sacrificies that cost to their change of life. And if he says this himself, believe him about this, maybe he will change in 5 years, who knows, but don't fall in the mistake of planning a marriage. Always wait from him to mention marriage, never open the subject of marriage, or you can lose him even if he's in love with you. When woman is in love, she's always ready to marry, but not a man. Alas...

20..wonderful age when you madly fall in love,think that he is whole world and 30 is declining yearsyou have to get through that.and may be you shouldn't accuse your boyfriend because he is honest with you and he confesses to that now he is not ready for marriage.
and as for 30 there is good russian film "moscow doesn't believe in tears" and heroine says "the life just is starting in 40 years. now i know it certianly"

ceyda i think you exaggerate everything like that subject...i dont believe you are in london...you are a typical turkish girl .... consequently as as as as

Miss Ceyda:

I really like reading your posts, because of my enquiring mind. I did not think Turkish girls had such strong characters and opinions. Maybe from a lot of Turkish men ignoring women in their company.

I'm glad I have found out, the women are not as vulnerable and over-ruled by men.

hehe thanks for your comment...
i dont know if all turkish girls are like that...

i think that im just me

Ladies of all nations...hear me !

DEEP TURKISH WISDOM ON LOVE AND WHAT MAY FOLLOW

I will tell you what 'love' (aşk) is, the few but strict rules around it, when and why it ends, and what happens to those loves that do not end. (wait for the moderator's objections, corrections and explanations; they will follow immediately afterwards)

1. LOVE is a time span in which two adults of preferably opposite sexes will both (RECIPROCALLY) feel an uncontrolable, and absolutely overflowing urge to discover each other, in every possible detail. This sudden urge has nothing to do with mind or intellect: It springs straight from one's heart and sends shivers to every single bone in one's body. In fact Turks go as far as admitting that LOVE is blind.

The important word in the above paragraph is RECIPROCALLY. A sudden uncontrollable desire to discover another person is not LOVE, unless it is reciprocally responded. Such one sided affairs are called KARA SEVDA in the old wise language of Turks: it is a form of illness, and must be treated immediately.

2. Almost all LOVES end, when there is nothing left to discover any more. It is luckily not the end of the world; Intelligent discoverers immediately embark on another expedition.

3. Rarely though, ordinary love qualifies to a higher level of feelings. It is amazing that the English Language does not recognize this elevated stage, and still calls it LOVE. Wiser Turks call it SEVGİ. SEVGİ is the stage where reciprocality requirement of LOVE disappears, as the the two parties of LOVE merge into a single being. They become 'one'. SEVGİ is for eternity.

Ladies! now that you know the rules and definitions. Go and love somebody. Do not despair if your love ends. Go look for another. In the mean time, train yourselves so that you will be capable of recognizing SEVGİ, should it ever appear on your door step.

a little simplistic perhaps but i like where your coming from!