well, my teacher's actually going to get married. he's engaged now. his wife-to-be is in Turkey while he's here. we were talking awhile ago, and i saw a ring on his finger. i asked about it if he's already married or anything. blah blah blah.. but anyway, me and my friends just want to know how do they celebrate turkish muslim weddings? and do we have any slots for that wedding? in traditional christian wedding, we have this bridesmaids and flower girls. how is it in turkish? what do you call them? like.. whats the best position for us? *its a very good reason for me to go to Turkey. ha ha. and as i know, for boys you actually call it kirve i think?

thanks.

My Turkish wedding was a rather small affair. We had immediate family only and got married at the local marriage office. After that, we all walked across the street and had a nice meal at a lovely restaurant that had seaside tables. It was lovely and peaceful and not a big fancy wedding at all. My sister in law had about 500 people at her wedding and it lasted all night...there was enough food for the entire Turkish Army with music and dancing. She did not have flower girls, maids of honor ect....but there were 2 witnesses at both of our weddings. So my point is, the variation in Turkish weddings is as vast as they are here in the west. Maybe you can ask your friend what the wedding plans are and you will get a better idea.

thanks for that. it surely helped. though i wonder, cant we have a role on his wedding? i was expecting maybe bridesmaids or anything, but i dont know what they call it (i`m begging for the right term). well, who knows.. i might be marrying with a turkish man someday. we're still young to know if we're the right one though. i wish by the time of my marriage, it will be a little classic since i am a foreigner. are you serious they only give golds? here in my country, as with the weddings people actually give like house & lots, house wears, appliances or anything for the new couple. and after the church wedding, they have this reception thing. i wonder how it takes for a turk couple to get married. i get confused since i've been to muslim weddings and christian ones.

In Turkey, marriages are performed at the local marriage office...Religious ceremonies are not recognized. It takes about 15 or 20 minutes if you have a counselor that likes to talk alot. If not, you just sit, sign and BAM! You're married. Religious ceremonies in Turkey are purely symbolic.

really? haha. so i wont be bored? cause with a blink of an eye, YEY! i`m married. haha. well here, it takes soooo much words. i wish to attend my teacher's wedding.

i had watched turkish weddings in youtube before... lol... (don't ask...) but it seems like, they don't have the bride's maid thing. The modern turkish wedding... well, they only had two witnesses. a guy and a girl. probably close friends of the groom and bride. And the traditional one... well... all i saw was the ceremony part... can't remember... check it out on youtube, and type turkish weddings...

really. then maybe my turk husband have to make some changes. we'll be having the traditional one. haha.

how old are you? lol

still 14.

I'm only 26... but if you'd asked me a few years ago when I plan to get married i'd say 30 or 35. You're right I think- the effect of the Turkish man!!

haha. why should i kid?

When I was 14 marriage hadn't even been invented yet!

I've been to a number of Turkish weddings. There are the modern "Salon" weddings and the village traditional ones.
"Salon" weddings are much more streamlined events and more formal, seeing as places are rented.

Traditional Turkish wedding are fabulous and very long events.

There is usually a large ornate engagement party months before the wedding. A civil marriage takes place before the traditional one, but the couple don't live together until the "traditional marriage" takes place.

The actual traditional wedding event takes at least 3 days.

Day one the bride and her entourage goes to the grooms home to visit. On this event regular, but special garments are worn and a Turkish flag hoisted high over the grooms village to announce to all who pass by that a marriage is being held. Anyone can visit and join in the dancing and feasting. A lamb is sacrificed and butchered for the feast that being served to all who are there. A band is hired for the event and dances are going on all day and night. This goes on at the grooms place for several days.

Day two at the brides place a henna party is held for the bride, who wears a full length lavender gown with a short transparant red veil over her head. A tray with balls of henna holding candles is held over the brides head while they chant prayers. A henna dance is done for the bride and after the henna "dance" henna is put on the brides hand and a red glove is put over her hand to keep it in place. Everyone at the party gets henna to put on themselves. More food is served. This is a women only party and the women dance.

Day three

At this event the bride wears a white wedding dress with a red ribbon that is tied around her waist by her brother. The groom and his entourage go in a decorated car or horse back with streamers and chants to take the bride to the grooms village and their new home. Another lamb is sacrificed before they get to the home. Another larger feast is held and the bride and groom sit at a table and are announced to all that they are now married. People approach the bride and either give her gold which is pinned on her. Sometimes the bride has gold bangles up to her elbow, or pinned on her dress. Gold coins with loops are often given on red ribbons.

After the eating the couple are left alone in their new dwelling for three days to get to know each other. On the fourth day the bride goes home to kiss her parents hands and visit her family. The seventh day the parents of the bride and groom visit new couple at home for a somewhat formal tea.

Alameda, thanks for the description, it was very interesting. However.... I'd never want such a traditional wedding myself, in fact, it would be pain to even participate in it... I think. :-S

What about the bit where the cars are decorated with underwear tied to the wing mirrors and everyone drives around in convoy honking their horns!

I don't like the part where they kiss hands. To me, it is like an official statement to tell the parents you had sex! At least, that is how I've always understood it: you don't get to talk about it, let alone have it, and then you get married, you have the wedding night and the next time you see the parents, they all know what you've been up to and you confirm it kissing their hands.

i think it all sounds very romantic........mmmmm....sigh!!!

I've been to many turkish wedings, a few in Turkey and one in London. They have all been slightly different from one another but for me I would say they make it more interesting for everyone unlike english traditional weddings. It's not just the main family that are involved sometimes there have been over 300 people because of local friends etc and they all get involved. Plus the bride wears two different dresses, one for the henna and one for the begining and most of the wedding, (traditional white dress). When I get married I'll probably more likely to be in Turkey due to family, and at the end of the wedding you give your gift either money pinned on the bride's dress or jewellery for the bride and groom. Oh and occassionally there is a bit where you have a vase made out of clay I guess and women that are old enough to get married and close relatives each take a chance to dance with it then the last person throws it on the ground and there's usually money and sweets inside.
In Turkey they usually last for two days or round about then, you have music playig 'til round about 4am then just a few hours later it starts again, 'til quite late, when you are surrounded by so many people to me it makes it more magical, but that's me.

That's what I've seen when I've been to family turkish weddings

kissing hands is a verification and announcement of having sex to the elder people? hahaha it's so funny.

it seems a vast majority of female users in this site prefer this type of marriage becouse you wonder it. i hope y'all find good dudus from Turchia to apply this wed. (by the way dudu means parrot, as i read in a dictionary. it's very ridiculous and absurd to call your boyfriends as "dudu") quasi y'all making fun of them, but apparently men are superior than women whether you accept it or not. only stupid men wanna be dominated by the sly women. anyway, hope you'll be happy.

TURKISH WEDDING = DÃœĞÃœN
In Turkish wedding day, a Turkish tradition, bride wears gold coins,wedding rings,piece of jewelry,golden bracelets.
Maybe gets a new beautiful home and home furniture as a wedding gift...

I have a friend who is a gynecologist. She says most of her business comes from performing 'sewing up' operations on the bride-to-be in order for her to bleed on her wedding night and make the groom believe she was a virgin... HOW SICK

if turkish girls had those pills i am sure there would be no virgin girl in turkey Really they do sex and everything naughty except intercourse... if you give them those pills their biggest problem will be solved

i got gold and money at my wedding got like 1300 lira plus gold

I sincerely believe those bleeding pills and repair jobs are a 'good thing' overall!
My country's blood and hymen loving, virginity obsessed, half brain men very well deserve them.

I basically meant that the myth could have been 'confirmed' because of unwanted sex It is a fact that the female is more sensitive in that area when the body hasn't produced the fluids to make it a pleasant act

Now I will go back studying and Chantal must do the same Otherwise I will refuse to have my teabreak with her

I was totally ripped off by my husband...when I get home, I am going to ask him were my house with all the furnishings is!

used or new? I don't want used furniture, rugs and dishes.

and I'll just have a groom from a wealthy family please.

and what if you don't like the furniture he has picked out.

Well if that includes cooking and cleaning for me..a wealthy family will do. Just as long as the mother n law minds her own business.

How disappointing to hear.

hee hee very funny thread.... and rather informative too

my kuzen that's getting married next month is very lucky she's having a house built for her. My uncle got maried last year and he got him and he's bride a home and got everything for them. furniture, washing machine etc etc and my uncle - dad's brother isn't wealthy.

In a traditional Turkish wedding, in fact even very minimally traditional wedding, the groom must make a very hefty investment in the marriage.

There is none of this, "I love you, let's get married" type of activity. If a man wants to marry a woman, he is expected to show some sort of real bread and butter commitment in the form of dowry. He has to present her with gifts, get her father's permission, his parents permission. He has to supply a home and furnishings.

When they are married drums are pounded all over to announce to all they are married to what can literally be thousands of people.

At the end of this, he KNOWS he is married and has made a real commitment. His honor, his family's honor are very invested in making the marriage work.

When a Turkish man marries a Western woman, there is no such ritual to impress on him the extent of the commitment he has entered in. In fact I think exactly what the whole thing means is somewhat confusing to both the bride and groom as to exactly what they have committed themselves to. I wonder if this could be at the root of some of the Western/Turkish marital problems we see here.

my dad's brother isn't wealthy at all and yet he did the entire house, furniture, etc etc. It depends on the family I guess

in egypt the actual marriage ceremony is really short the bride and groom go to a mosque (if they are muslims NO DUH!!)and they signa ll the legal papers and blah balh balh and most mosques have gardens they have like a huge table set with small pieces of cakes for everyone and stuff but then..after any period of time mostly couple of months (until they gey the wedding preperations done)they have a huge wedding anywhere they want mostly in a hotel but could be in a garden or on the beach......and the wedding mostly starts at like 7 8 and stays till like 3 ,4 am and most weddings have 2 parts this like arabian nights part with ppl on drums and dancing with sword and sometimes they dress the bride and groom up like in that red thing they used to wear on their heads long ago (i dont know what its called)and they give the groom like this stick and he dances with it old style with the bride(of course everything with the white wdding dress and the tuxedo)and then the second part is the more modern mostly they get a dj and richer ppl get real famous singers along with the DJ and everybody dances and stuff!!when it comes to the food egyptian ppl have huge families like up to 300 ppl may come so they have this HUGE buffet and everybody just helps themselves.Now about the gifts tehy usually give b4 the wedding its mostly money which actually depends on how rich u are it could range from (500-10000 pounds)and u give them smthg they could use in their life like appliances or cameras or travel tickets...etc and after the wedding u return home and sleep like a dog!!!!lol!! i love hearing about weddings froma ll around the world1!!

oh yeah and one night b4 the wedding all the woman go to the bride´s house and they have like a henna party!! FUN!!

I want ask only one question. I´m an Egyption man. When I got married with Turkish woman, I´ll got legal residence permit in Turkey due to Turkish laws?

 

Pleased so much for any help.

Your question has been answered here.

I thýnk the groom should take care of the house and full furnýture and everything needed for home. Even I would want to say it is a must

 According to the Turkish customs (as far as I know)

It of course depends on the arrangement,  it is not a must to buy a house for any party.

The grooms´ side is responsible for all the white goods, electronics, the sofa set, dining set..

The brides´ side is responsible for bedroom set,  cookware, cutlery. glassware, dinner sets, carpets, curtains and accessories, towels, bathrobes.

 Thx

This may change due to the region

 And according to the jobs man and woman have Or according to how ´modern´ they are.

I vote for sharing all the costs and picking all the furniture together And a no no for involvement or too much financial aid by parents!!!

Well we chose everything what s important together but the ones who were paying varied.

And about resorts - completely agree - a big risk starting anything. Anyway, after what I see or read about resorts I wouldnt even look to a resort worker.

 Not important, they will look at you....

 ´Bridesmaid´ means "nedime" in Turkish. But there is no nedime in traditional Turkish weddings. 

Quoting hobnob

Quoting azizehannah: thanks for that. it surely helped. though i wonder, cant we have a role on his wedding? i was expecting maybe bridesmaids or anything, but i dont know what they call it (i`m begging for the right term). well, who knows.. i might be marrying with a turkish man someday. we´re still young to know if we´re the right one though. i wish by the time of my marriage, it will be a little classic since i am a foreigner. are you serious they only give golds? here in my country, as with the weddings people actually give like house & lots, house wears, appliances or anything for the new couple. and after the church wedding, they have this reception thing. i wonder how it takes for a turk couple to get married. i get confused since i´ve been to muslim weddings and christian ones.

I am certainly planning to have bridesmaids at my wedding- my sister insists! I couldn´t tell you what ´bridesmaid´ means in Turkish though- maybe there is no translation?? They only give gold, yes. Sometimes a coin (if you don´t have much money) and gold jewellery sets if you are close family. I personally think it´s a really good idea- you´re not expected to keep it and wear gold everyday for the rest of your life but gold always increases in value and you can sell it and get the cash . How long does it take? The time between engagement and marriage is short- normally only a few months. People think i´m crazy for planning a wedding a year in advance including my fiance!! As for the reception I was telling you about- it´s normally an evening do from about 8pm to midnight.

I had my wedding in Turkey last year.  The actual marriage was done at the city counsil and it took less then 15 minutes.  However, turkish people do like to celebrate.  it is customory to have some type of reception.  Most turkish do not really have much of a conception of invitation even though they send one.  if I get an invitation and I tell my girlfriend who happens to know the couple she might also show up.  We invitated about 100 people I did not want anything big and end up with about three hundred.  you do not have to feed everybody just make sure you have a huge cake to accomodate more than just the people invitated and drinks.

The good part about it is that you can have an absolutely gorgeous fress made for almost nothing in no more than a week.  I don´t think they have brides maides, at least I did not, your brides maides will automatically be the sisters, cousing, close female relative.  Even if you do not want them they will still do so.  Oh yes, and be prepared to be touched, kissed and hugged a lot.  Turkish people are very lovely and they have no concept of space.  That was the hardest part for me.  Other than that I love their gift system.  No more items to get stuck with, no 6 blenders or things you will never use.  In Turkey most guest will give you money, close relatives will probably give you jewerly, and the rest most than likely will give you this cool gold coins varrying in size and price.  At the end you just turn them in to a jewerly shop and get a bunch of money back.  The thing I liked the most is that they have this wonderful dance in which almost everyone gets involved. 

I was wondering with different cultures doing cerimonies differently - In Turkey what finger do married people where their wedding rings?

 I think you will find the answer here:-

http://www.turkishclass.com/sfa/turkce/forumTitle_23827

(BTW your spelling is very creative )

what was incorrect with my spelling?  And thank you for the answer.

  was wondering with different cultures doing CEREMONIES differently - In Turkey what finger do married people WEAR their wedding rings?  The sentence structure was not brilliant either

Sorry, just a personal gripe.  There are so many non-English here whose English grammar and spelling are far superior to ours!

Marriage is marriage everywhere.

-   Engagement, marriage-legal marriage-, divorcement, etc  depend on turkish Code of Civil law- Turkish Civil Law.

-   It is like Swiss Civil Law.

(You cannot live without get married.It is illegal, crime, shame, abnormal and sin according to Turkish culture and world´s moral values.)

-   Marriage requires harmony, mutual respect, private home, furniture, furnishing, reasonable level of income, family´ s approval and family´s financial support.

-   Engagement ceremony-party- is made at the house with the marriage rings.

-   Marriage ceremony is made at the local marriage office-manicipality- town hall-, officially, among families, relatives and guests.

-   Wedding ceremony is made due to the region, financial situation and family´s prefences-choices-.

-   Wedding depends on family´s agreement.

-   Other wedding rings, gifts, piece of jevelries, golden moneys, etc are given to the bride for their honor according to the Turkish tradition and custom.

-   This may change due to family culture, personal level, personal background,  family relatives and financial structure.

Türk Kültür ve geleneğine göre:

- Bir Türk Müslüman kızın, başka bir dine (Hıristiyan veya Yahudi) mensup olan bir yabancı erkek ya da dini olmayan ateist bir yabancı erkek ile evlenmesi doğru değildir.
Çünkü böyle bir evlilikte  ortak bir payda ve denklik yoktur.Sonu iyi bitmez.
Ancak, yabancı erkek Müslümanlığı kabul ettiği takdirde bu evlilik din ve ahlak
açısından geçerli kabul edilir.

- Bir Türk Müslüman erkeğin, dini yönden mevcut 3 ana dinden (İslam, Hıritiyan ya da Yahudi) herhangi birine mensup olmayan bir  yabancı kız ile ya da dini olmayan bir ateist yabancı kız ile evlenmesi doğru değildir.
Çünkü böyle bir evlilikte ortak bir payda ve denklik yoktur.Sonu iyi bitmez.
Ancak, yabancı bir kızın bu 3 dinden birine mensup olması halinde bu evlilik din ve ahlak
açısından geçerli kabul edilir.

According to Turkish Culture and Tradition:
- It is not proper for a Turkish muslim girl to marry a foreign guy
who belongs to another religion (christianity or judaism) or a guy who is an atheist.
Because there is no balance nor shared values in such marriage,
it fails anyway.
But if the guy decides to be converted into muslim, the marriage will be counted
as valid according to islamic law and  moral values.
- It is not proper for a Turkish muslim guy to marry a foreign girl
who does not belong to one of the three dominant religions (islam, christianity or judaism)
or a girl who is an atheist.
Because there is no balance nor shared values in such marriage.
It fails anyway.
But if the girl belongs to one of these three religion, the marriage will be counted
as valid according to islamic law and  moral values.

(Translated by scalpel)