Hi Guys

I´ve found some strange emails in my wifes account. I have tried translating them myself with little sense!My Turkish lessons have only just started!Please please please help.I think some of the mails are missing.Sorry, it´s so long.

Canim nasilsin?
Yeni isinde ilk gunun nasildi, umarim yabancilik cekmedin?
Biliyorum henuz ilk gunler yogunsundur ama merak ediyorum iste seni. Bana yaz neler yaptigini olur mu?
Cok ozluyorum seni buralarda, kokunu, sana dokunmayi, herseyini ozledim.
Burnumda tutuyorsun simdiden.
Optum
Kartopun
x x x x

Merhaba Canim,
Biraz yogun olmakla birlikte iyiyim, hele senden haber aldikca dahada iyi oluyorum.
Seni bende cok ozledim , umarim yibasinda gelme planini uygularsin....da hasret gideririz.
Cok optum
XXXX sadece burnumda degil her yerimde tutuyorsun Kartopucum.

Selam canim, naber?
Sana nasil ulasabilirim? Sesini duymak istiyorum, cok ozledimmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Kartopun
x x x x

Ne haber Bitanem,
Kusura bakma maillerde problem vardi,,, gordugun gibi hala calisiyorum.. simdi isteren konusalim,, daha buradayim.
Optum

You are looking through your wife´s emails !!!!!!!! I would have strong words if someone did this to me surely she can translate for you

anyway they pretty much same old same old

examples

Ne haber Bitanem,
Kusura bakma maillerde problem vardi,,, gordugun gibi hala calisiyorum.. simdi isteren konusalim,, daha buradayim.
Optum

what´s new my one and only

Sorry there was a problem with the mail.. As you saw I am still working , Lets speak now if you want , I am here

Kisses 

Selam canim, naber?
Sana nasil ulasabilirim? Sesini duymak istiyorum, cok ozledimmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
Kartopun
x x x x

Hi my dear , whats up ?

How can I be reuinited with you ? I want to hear your voice. I miss you/ it

Canim nasilsin?
Yeni isinde ilk gunun nasildi, umarim yabancilik cekmedin?
Biliyorum henuz ilk gunler yogunsundur ama merak ediyorum iste seni. Bana yaz neler yaptigini olur mu?
Cok ozluyorum seni buralarda, kokunu, sana dokunmayi, herseyini ozledim.
Burnumda tutuyorsun simdiden.
Optum
Kartopun

My dear how are you ?

How was your first day in your new job ? I hope you did not feel alone . I know you only just started this work, but I am curious (about it ). Can you write to me what you do *at work ).

I am really missing you here, touching you, I miss everythng. You are already holding (burnumda ?? )

Kisses

kartopun

 All is fair in love and war!!!  His wife has picked up a dudu online or on holiday and is enjoying the attention I guess.  My advice would be DO NOTHING but give her extra attention and love!  She will soon realise what her "Turkish love" is like when he asks her for money

I think he got the gist from Insallah

 Don´t worry I have got used to him/ her doing it ... I do actually appreciate it when mine is wrong and people suggest ways to make it better but giving no advice as to why the 2nd is better just makes people not trust the first .. anyway life goes on

If I may just ask a simple question: what is meant by a ´dudu´?

I know this word only from one of Tarkan´s song, and he talks about a girl. Does ´dudu´ mean lover or something of the sort?

Thanks in advance for the help, it´s just out of curiosity.

And as for the real subject matter that started this post, I guess many couples sometimes go through tough times...I do hope things settle though.

 Sorry Bea - the word originated on this site (a long story!) but is now a word we use to describe those lovely Turkish tourist workers (waiters, barmen etc) who prey on mostly older women tourists (but not always older), and are full of romantic lines, declarations of love, proposals of marriage etc. for a few months and then begin their sob stories in order to get money and/or visas out of them.  The translation forum is full of good examples   Many of these lovely men have 3, 4 or 5 women "on the go" at the same time

Thank you _AE_ for clarifying all this. As a beginner learner, of course, being naive, I thought it meant something else........now I know better!

Will try to remember it, it´s rather fun as a word! Will definitely use it too, if I may!

Hehe you should definately use it here!

It actually started when a girl posted a thread about a man and mistyped "dude" - writing "dudu" instead!

It is a Turkish Class word, but have been told that it has spread everywhere now and appears on MSN Groups and Facebook Groups!!!   Ouh...the power of the internet

I would not want to be in the place of Argon. That is horrible!

I think it is not very good to look in personal messages and all. Sometimes in a couple, not knowing is better than knowing because sometimes it is just a wave to cheat in a relationship, it can calm down without you even knowing it.

 I agree with you (!). Sometimes it is just need for attention and nothing more.  It is not worth breaking up for it.  I hope everything works out for Argon

Argon,

Are you going to go back with her at Christmas or is this news to you??

It sounds like he is the one that is persuing her and to be honest I have been in that situation and it does flatter you, but sooner or later you realise that this is all it is belive me as soon as she wants to talk to him about something serious or emotional you wont see him for dust!!!

I hope that you are ok and that everything works out for you both. 

Well, at least I know now! However, painful it may be. Thanks so much to everybody who helped me out. I know its a bit ´underhand´ to go through the emails. The first time was actually an accident when she left her hotmail account open.Once the suspicious seed was sown I couldn´t help myself to look further. The big question is how I handle it now? We have a 2 year old daughter.

I have quite a short temper normally but I am exercising great self control at present.I will continue to monitor the emails. It does help to be one step ahead after all! Calling her bluff, I have said I will go to Turkey at Christmas now. Apparently, she has decided not to go now. Apparently, she made up her mind at least a month ago! What do I do now? Do I admit I´ve read them. If I don´t will it burn me up inside? Should I be in an agony aunt forum!!!

 Some things are best kept secret!  I would keep quiet about it - if you lose it and get angry, tell her what you read etc. you could end up separating.  For the time being, I think you are doing the right thing by just monitoring the situation

PS I used to have an agony thread here once as Auntie Aenigma!

http://www.turkishclass.com/forumTitle_25743_4

 Well, if she made up her mind not to go to Turkey to meet him, I think it is safe to say it was just a bit of attention she got from some guy she will never see again.....hardly worth getting into a bit fight about!  I wouldn´t say anything if in your shoes.  Good Luck!

Exactly !....my suggestion is lavishly increase her allowance as well, so she can avoid embarressing situations....what is a good hubby like you for?

Copy mails, messages whatever you can gather as proof in a court of law and divorce her immediately. Avoid alternative approaches which may fatally impair your and your daughter´s futures. Your marriage wows are no longer valid and your daughter will be better off without a mother like that. If you must control your temper, exercise it to avoid speading the story so that your daughter does not suffer later.

my advice is somewhere in the middle.

Yes, copy emails, also through print-screen, so you get the date and everything with it, not just the content. Not necessarily for coutr, but perhaps to confront her later, or for yourself when you break up with her. It´s always good to have a reminder of why you broke up when you´re feeling sorry for yourself later on, and only remembering her good sides.

I think the nature of the emails was WAY to far. The way it is written, things like "I miss your smell"... this is more than just an internet fling. At one point you will have to confront your wife. Perhaps give her some hints first. Not saying anything about hotmail, but perhaps, that she has been acting differently. That you feel like she´s hiding something, and if there´s something she wants to share with you. It´s always better if she tells you the truth, instead of you having to confront her with the truth.

If she doesn´t stop emailing, but she also doesn´t tell you the truth, you need to confront her. Perhaps she will open her eyes and stop betraying your trust, and you can work things out eventually.

But this is not something that will blow over. Plans about Christmas? This is all too much.

Stay calm, stay strong, and make sure you behave in a way that you can still look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day. Don´t let your temper get the best of you. At the end of the road, you want to look at yourself and say that you did all you could do, in the right manner.

Yes, you are right - it seems more than just flirting. She was in Turkey for 3 weeks about a month ago and I can only imagine if anything actually happened. I know she received a Valentines email from him over a year ago so she has known him for a while. I had thought of the same approach barba_mama.I have already quizzed her as to why the u-turn on her trip at Christmas (i.e. now not going-after I said I would) She normally can´t wait to see her mum. Her reasons for not going are also quite mixed-up and unsure as if taken by surprise. 

Its so hard having to look for things you would rather not find!And so hard to remain calm in the process.Thank you all so much for your advice. If only I can do you guys proud by acting in the right way.

In some situations, the idea is to stay proud yourself; not to strive to make others proud of you..

List the items that can make you feel disgusted with yourself for the rest of your life. If your wife sleeping with another man is high up in your list, divorce the wife and be done with it. Any further measures are unnecessary.

If not, show your cheating wife more love and interest and hope for the best.

Further update - just found some pictures on a recovered deleted memory card of my wife and the man who has been emailing her. Looks like they were taken in a hotel room. It is now looking very obvious that something is going on. Will continue to monitor emails etc. if my calm side allows! Guess, I will probably need some more translation for a while. Watch this space.....

Photgraps, eh? ....Invaluable stuff in structuring a good " Users"s Manual" for her..

You must be kidding us all....Get real !

Is she Turkish?   You mentioned earlier that she normally couldn´t wait to see her mum (presumably in Turkey)  Not really relevant - I am just being nosey.

I think we all deserve a peek at the pictures here...

Hard to decide if the situation is really serious without the pictures.

ye coz maybe it´s just some kýro and you are worried for (almost) nothing

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