LESSON LEARNED!!!

maybe i should take notice of what everyone says, i was warned by my mother, friends, family, everyone... Men in Turkish tourism jobs cheat(probably not all i know no offence, but i haven't met a man yet in turkish tourism that doesnt cheat his girlfriend/fiancee/wife) Shockinvg i know, but nevertheless i was warned!
Im not saying dont trust people because not everyone is the same, just keep your eyes open

Yep I have lots of turkish friends from various tourism places I've visited that I still keep in contact with. They always brag on about how they've got three (plus) girlfriends, which to begin with was just a joke. However a barman I knew that said he had two, actually did have two. And they both arrived in Marmaris on the same week to see him, I witnessed a lot of shouting . Well if such a thing happened to you, I hope you didn't become too attached.

I look at it from their point:

They are male, lots of hormones charging around, women in next to nothing or topless, flirting.

What would you do if you were a man?

sorry to hear about this hun. x

What of the girls trying to have sms messages translated into English on the translation forum? If they mutually can not speak even a simple sentence in each other's language, what do you think they share in their relationships? Body language do not work out of the bedroom. I think they get what they want to get (for both). They are the ones who call Bodrum as bedroom.

well let me tell you its not just people in tourist area i met some one from a village never met any one worse then him but lesson learned

to find an angel man look likes to find a river at the middle of desert,here or there never matter

especially more with a mature woman

To have more than 1 girlfriend in the age of 40th not a mature thing you know ?
Specialy being girlfriend means he picked her with his own choice
So it is hard to believe at age of 40 men usually have more than 2 girlfriends unless they were not mature
right ?

thats certain men like easy girls&women,so i believe that mostly an easy girl or woman on man's mistakes...

personally i think that if men are going to cheat..it doesn't matter where they come from..they are either a cheater or they are not...the choice is whether you are stupid enough to take it or be strong enough to walk away...if u stay then you are only inviting them to cheat again in my opinion...trust me
not all men are easily swayed by temptation..like qdemir said..some (but not all) of the sms translations are so basic that the only thing they could possibly have in common is lust..which is not love.
i believe that if a man truly loves a woman..then they will not cheat..regardless of temptation..but if it is lust..well that is another story

It is not only men that cheat,women also.

İ mean qdemir didn't hesitate to questioning that he may cheat on her,even he is mature
then is it a common action of Turkish men ?

well done lisabelle..a highly mature statement..and highly true afferim sana

Turkish men run,drink,sleep,eat,love,cheat...)they r not from another planet

so true,it is not a matter of a few words can be said,it is easy to say words and not to mean it

And i must say,i too with qdemir,how can you love someone,or he loves you and there is no minimum communication between both of you ?
As i see it,when i say i love

İ love him for the way he see things
İ love him for his manners and ethics
İ love him for the way he respects his family
İ love him for the way he respects me
İ love him for the way he takes over things
İ love him for the way he takes care of me
İ love him for being honest and never lie
İ love him for the understanding between us

İ love him ..................
İ love him ...................

İ love him for being him

So how would you know him,if you cann't communicate with him ?
What is the base of that love ?

yes that is true. to love someone is to love them whole, to love them for what is on the inside and what is on the outside. it is to know them. the basis of love and knowledge of a person is communication.

they say that love can conquer all. but can it really if there is no possible means of communication??

i think there are many times where we can confuse what is actually lust for love. i know i have in the past. but these are the lessons we need to learn.

i hope u r ok iluvhim.

finally more intelligent people replying to this silly post about how only turkish men cheat..glad we have some intelligent people left

Men CHEAT all over the world! not just turks...latin men cheat as much as them so one can't generalize ....there are some loyal ones but very few! (I haven't met many of them )....as someone said , if you want a serious relationship with a turk DO look outside the tourism area and please, before getting involved with someone deeply DO know him well...some girls say they fell in love and they don't even know his background!!!! or what is worse, they can't communicate well , they can't even understand each other and they say they're in love....this is attraction only...let's be frank but my advice is : although love can make us blind, do not drop your brain and be CAREFUL!
Yes, turkish men are charming...extremely charming but it doesn't mean that ALL OF THEM are trustworthy .
Selamlar,
Dilara.

Canli, I think that qdemir was just sceptical and wanted to say that a person's age shouldn't be the reason to trust him. I don't think he meant to say directly 'don't trust your bf, I know he's cheating'. Moreover, I think it's a great thing if you are capable to be critical of yourself and people of your own kind, not just others (which is the common tendency of the 'us vs them' thinking). I think that qdemir has a good point in his posts, I think that he's trying to be realistic - probably knowing many guys who cut loose . He often emphasized the contradiction between the behavior and talks of the Turkish boys in question. They send poems to their girls but use no punctuation and don't make the effort to learn the girl's language. I know that when a person is infatuated, he/she idealizes and justifies such things, but if you think about it - when a person cares about someone, he/she would make a little bit more effort to communicate with his/her lover.

yes,i can see your point catwoman,and his point too,and i didn't say he is totally wrong,
İ read the translation forums myself,and i wonder how can it be love with no communication,even minimum level,
As i said in my previous post,
Love need things to support it so we can call it love,
You cann't just see someone,close your eyes and open them and booff,you are in love !
But my point is, i see lots of criticism of the Turk themselves,not just qdemir,maybe he got his point which i am with it too,but cann't generalize it tho ,but to me,as a stranger,when reading all this makes me wonder,

İsn't there anything good at all there ???

Sure it is a great thing if you are capable to be critical of yourself and people of your own kind, not just others
But i would like to see the good sides too along with the bad ones

And finally, a tip for the girls,

Love is to pay effort,but not just one sided effort

Good luck to you all

Canli, definitely . But why are you insisting on hearing the good sides right at this moment? To make the really terrible truth sound better? You wanna hear now about the good Turkish guys? We have some on this site, you read their posts every day.
And honestly, most people we see on this site met their bf-s on vacation, so obviously we'll hear more about the bad types.

It is not just MEN who cheat all over the world it is also WOMEN! and we have whole series of programmes about it in the UK and I dont just mean cheat in marriage or relationships but in all areas of life. There is always someone out their ready to cheat on you if you are vunerable or naive enough to let them.

I am getting slightly fed up with this notion that all Turkish men cheat.

me 2

catwoman,i read the posts everyday,but how about those who doesn't read it everyday ?
And happen to read this thread ?
İ want to hear the good sides too because it ia really exist

But about that thread you know what the truth is ?
The terrible truth?
İn my opinion ,that is girls are fooling themselves,

And what is really the learned lesson ?

That is girls shouldn't fool themselves,then complain about men are fooling them

Men are men all over the world,can you tell me,any girl can fall in love with a man in her home land without talking with him ?!

Why should it be different with Turkish men ?
They are men too not angels!

So how did they fall in love then ?

At least,there should be minimum communication,then as any realationship,you can judge it later
But the (A) here is missing,and that is communication,
So you can call this love ?
What kind of love is it ?
And girls believing it ?

Girls are fooling themselves and allowing the boys to do so,so now we blame only the boys ?

İ am not defending boys too by the way,but boys trying with girls all over the world,not only in Turkia,in their home land too

But girls don't give them the chance to fool them back there, why giving them the chance now ?

+1 (sorry Elisa!!). Well written Canli, I agree with you completely.

Reading all these translations requests makes me wonder if we fully understand the meaning of the word "LOVE" at all.
I can't imagine to love somebody without communication, I want to understand how one can love somebody just seeing him/her for limitted time(holiday). Maybe we can call this falling in love but not love. Maybe it will develop into love but it needs time to get there.
The second thing I do not understand why we always talk about turkish guys. Don't we have any girls "in fault"?
Let's ask the guys.
I don't want to offend anybody, just courious to know.

Again, I agree with you completely Bliss. A wicked thought struck me the other day.... I wonder if it has ever happened that two girls asking for translations here have both been speaking to the same guy....

Have same thought all the time

i Just wanna say this is buLLsit wht the hell is that >warned< god give you brain to use but if u dont know how to use of coz pple ll come and cheat you ..is so normal... mybe you like the man or u love...but if you really dont want no 1 can cheat you otherwise all is you talkng full of sht..
i like pple talk about turkish man good or bad i like to hear.. but i dont like pple talk smtng wthout dont know anytng..you should go learn more about Turkish man bfre u say all ths....

yes well done!!!!that was well said.

ok Rain,why don't you tell us about Turkish men then ?

i will
hahaha
i think they are so nice not like english guys they are so disrespectful sorry i cant spell haha.but anyway turkish guys are so nice well my guy is and his mates are!!!!but some are not nice but most of the turkish guys i no would never cheat part from one but thats just him haha.

If you wanna learn about turkish man u have to feel.. thn only u can see tht wht kind of man they are.. im turkish man i never say tht im perfct or nice..but i say tht turkish man are most gentleman in the world..they cant beat women and women are so worth for us.. coz i have mom i come from her stomach thts why i have to respct all ladies no matter prostet,,, or other.. and our turkish man learn tht no matter who behave us bad we should behave them nice thn only pple can see tht turkish are friendly..all around the world pple talk about isLam bullshit..its really true.. who not read the qoran and if they say smtng about muslim are bad no matter turkish or others i ll say only tht BULLSHIT..Go uSa look the man how they behave fo the women... go asia country look the man how they behave fo the women only FO SEX..nthng else..in turkey also have bad 1.. but mostly are really so nice.. anywy. i wanna go pee

I have to say that I'm tired of all this negative talk about Turkish men...it's getting a tad tedious now don’t you think? Personally I think that you have to be careful and keep your eyes open in any relationship, not just men from Turkey.

If a Turkish boy (or girl)is asking for money, phones, clothes etc., then use your initiative, like you would do anywhere else in the world.

(I hope you are ok 'ILovehim'...I know it's hard but try to think of it as a lucky escape...you could have married the guy)

Yes of course, you are right, you are naturally going to get negative replies about Turkish men in this post. I guess that I'm just a little saddened that most of the talk is always about how bad Turkish men are and you don’t hear a lot about the good men and happy endings...

yeah turkish guys are great lovers lets talk about how great they are not how bad they are cos all guys are the same i guess no one is perfect!!!!

catwoman,read my post again,i didn't say it is ok for guys to cheat,
We here are talking to the girls,not the boys,you cann't control the boys behaviours,but you are telling your opinion to the girls
İ said men are men all over the world,i didn't mean again it is ok for them to cheat,but
İ meant,there is no difference between Turkish men,or Americans men,or Britich men,or Egyptians men,men are same all over the world
There are the goods and the bads
You cann't generalize by saying all Turkish men are bad or all Turkish men are good,

For god sake they are men not angels,nor deviles,same like all men

Aren't men trying all the ways with girls,in home land as much as all over the world ?they are always doing and will never stop really

You may like it or not but it is happening this way,they try all ways,honest ones and dishonest ones too,and my point is ,NOT only Turkish men

But here,the girls are responsible too,you cann't say they are not
We are not weak creatures,have lake of minds,can be fooled easily
We gave that chance to be fooled alright

Ok,he lied to her,that is not good,and he shouldn't,i am with you... so ?
We leave it this way,hoping we meet only the good men who are honourable enough and won't cheat on us ?
Or we have our own brain to use,and defend ourselves too before we got hurt ?

Where are the girls brains ?
Why didn't they give it even some thought ?

My God,they don't even communicate !
They cann't speak to each other
So they really believe the boys love them ??

Maybe he can like her,and she likes him too,that is acceptable,
And from here they try to find a way to communicate,and build a relation,but LOVE with no communication??!!
That is a bit hard

Again,my point,not that it is ok boys cheats,
But that girls should look after themselves,and give it a little thought first then judge

Before girls look for a happy ending,they must make a good start first

canli, well said! although you sound a little bit angry...

No,not really

İ was just wondering all this time about that issue since i came to the site
İ start to help in the translation Forums,as much as i know,and those things were on my mind
But it wasn't for me to say anything,
that is their own business,but i was wondering if they really believe it,or if it is true
Even i opened a thread to share this,but in a limit

But when talking about learned lesson,
then in my opinion,that is the lesson which is the girls should pay attention to it

İ wish all of them luck really

As being a man I wonder how you, ladies, can feel or decide a man is a great lover or not (I can not get what you mean by a great lover either)

Could someone know whether or not the other part is a great lover, if they can not communicate in each other's language (or in an other language they both speak)?

Good question ,i wonder if there is a good answer !

"My God,they don't even communicate !
They cann't speak to each other
So they really believe the boys love them ??

Maybe he can like her,and she likes him too,that is acceptable,
And from here they try to find a way to communicate,and build a relation,but LOVE with no communication??!!
That is a bit hard"

Some people can communicate, my friend who is always speaking to me can speak really good english although he has only started learning 1year ago, when i met him he could say the words hello, please and yeh but no but(cos i tought him yeh but no but)lol
But he has come a log way in 12months, he can now say anything almost from his favourite colour to all future plans... I on the otherhand have been learning french for 3years and can only use tenses a little bit, but he is fine with speaking tenses in english although he is turkish...

I think what you say does not have a sense itself, but the way you say it. For example:saying I am sorry does not mean you really feel sorry. I don't speak Chinese. If a Chinese woman tells me she loves me (and someone translates it into my language or English) I will not able to feel whether she really feels it or not.

qdemir ?

Why don't you tell us,as being a man,and a turkish too as we are speaking about turkish men,how do men see love ?

That means men don't believe in love ?
All what they care of is the physical beauty ?

No, it does not. They might not believe the way you believe. In fact who really believes in love in both sides.

Men believe in beauty in women (nice breasts and ...)
Women believe in money (and power) in men.

There is a saying that a successful man is the one who can earn more than his wife can spend, and a succesful woman is the one who can find a husband like this.

I think trying to understand the other side is a waste of time and energy. What the both sides shoud do is to admit the other side as he / she is.

That is not a successful man ,or a successful woman, those are both sad man and a sad woman

Money can never buy happiness,maybe they won't believe it at first
But,when they already have the money,which they can spend it freely
They will be shoked, we are not happy ,why ?

And they will understand there is nothing they can do to be happy,because they don't have a warm relation that tie them together

İ pity them because they don't know,and i pity them more when they will know

guys ??i don't believe you are saying men see women just like a doll !!

then when they find a prettier doll they will leave the old one and head for the new one till she lost her beauty ???!!!!!!!!!!

İ will post a story,and it really cann't be more true than that

A bit long, sry about that

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in.

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"


İ wish you can see my point,and it is really true

Then it is their loss qdemir

İn their process on finding the prettier one,they may have step on a heart it really care for him,and will never find again

Beauty won't last forever,not in women,nor in men,and what ever will attract women to these guys,they will lose too,and will rotten alone
Or if they are lucky,in a cold relationship,seek only money,as you have just posted

And these guys...İ don't pity them ,, lol

They deserve !

Love ? what love now !!
Does it exist that way ??!!

They are talking about a doll !

İ sincerely hope you are talking about none mature men and women
Not mature ones !

yes, it's definitely not maturity they are talking about. but maturity is not a value that is in demand these days. we are homo sapiens (in latin this means "wise human") and we have a lot of potential but we're still descendents of monkeys and unless people make conscious effort to use their intelligence and turn it into wisdom and maturity, they will remain on the animal level (which is directed by the sex drive among other things). I think people here are trying to explain the 'tendency' meaning the animal instinct and that's the only common trait for all males or females. personal choices are determined by the individual choice of using one's intelligence and wisdom to create something great and transcendental. our choices are heavily influenced by the culture we live in and on top of the fact that men mature later then women, they are also encouraged by the culture to follow their animal instincts while women are discouraged and taught that they are the sex OBJECTS (speaking of the sexist, patriarchal world we live in).

Yesterday When i was chat in forum i chtd with a english girl in minichatroom....She is married with turkish and she got a baby..but this shitbreak can say to me about his boo(husbnd)supid he have no brain she is regret to married 1 idiot turkish man...Im a turkish man too whn i listen all anywy...She find young turkish man in turkey thts why herhusbnd bcme nthng fo her coz 1 man nt enough for him her sexsual life more imprtnt thn real life..Thn i ask about her Family.. wht she told me u know? myfamily fucking idiot and bastard... all these world MUSLIM UK(ENGLISH)GIRL SAYING...

I nt saying all enlish is like this...but wanna say tht whn i come to this forum...i see tht european girl like to talk bad about turkish or look them down...But we turkish man or women are strong and we are friendly if pple scre from us coz ottomanfire children..if u have a turkish boy friend or turkish boo(husbnd)if anytng happen go solve the problem yourslf not bring here to share if not i wont respct to you..pple have a lot problem but jst need to talk thn im sure tht everytng ll be cool..! so many pple in this class who like to talk bad about turkish the door here i jst wanna say get out.. but if u wanna share uropinion with us ..we are ready to be urfamily her and to be urbest friend.. You guys wanna rescpt but have to show some...

oooohhhooo... I see a lot of anger here (and lack of vowels) . yes, we can discuss issues - but not in this way bro. (I just think that the guy is guilty cause he lets her cheat - just kidding!!! ).

Chatwomen sorry if u got me wrong.. But you know i really feel that..thts why i wrote all those..pple like to talk smtng but they should learn first thn only talk..but they dont know anytng keep on talkng and fly on the air..anywy jst wake up alrdy feel sleepy

hey, I'm CAtwomAn - not chatwomen . anyways, sorry to hear that you got so aggrevated by people stereotyping your culture, but maybe you could actually teach them? do you know the truth and all the details about Chinese or South Americans if you were to start talking with them?

i really cant be bothered to read this cos its like boring me now!!!it been going on to long and like people are righting so much i should keep up but very busy sorry guys but i love turkish men cos they are great and have respect as i keep saying haha anyway have fun haha bye bye nice talking bout it