Living - working in Turkey |
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getting married in turkey
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| 130. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:26 pm |
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Quote: Quoting karekin04: Ohmygod! This is like reading something from hundreds of years ago! Choosing a "suitable" bride, being a virgin...blah blah!
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I am sorry to hear that. However, as far as I can see you haven't been with a MAN for three years.
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| 131. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:27 pm |
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Quoting aiça: Will no one answer Canlis questions? ... |
Well, nope no one will answer,because the problem is they are in the middle and having problems between ideas and behaviors and they cant justify it.
For example,they justify having an affair with other women,but at same time they cant accept women having affair with other men.
İf they really belive in the idea then it should be same at all parts.
But at same time,they WONT accept women having ex affairs.
Thats why they cant answer.
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| 132. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:27 pm |
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Quoting catwoman: Quoting karekin04: after all this his parents are coming here and taking him away just because I was married once before and have a son, They know nothing about me or our relationship and have no sympathy to fact they are tearing apart a beautiful relationship, turkish parents are selfish and controlling and only think about how their children benefit their lifestyle... nothing else! And these are the "modern turkish people" PUH! I'm starting to believe there is no such thing |
Karekin, what about your boyfriend, doesn't he have a voice in it too? Can he be forced by his parents to leave you? :-S |
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| 133. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:29 pm |
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Karekin04,
Oh my goodness, I cant imagine you would be punishing all Turkish parents for the act of your husband's. I am divorced from a Lebanese man for 14 years. My son is 10 years old, do the math, yes born out of wedlock. He is half black, half Mexican. Just stating those 2 facts could make me seem like a horrible b*&^ch. I have been married for 7 months to the most amazing Turkish man. If I had believed in love and known he existed, I would have waited forever. His family has welcomed me in to their lives with open arms and the kindest of thoughts. Maybe this is due to the fact that they trust my husband to make these decisions for himself. They love him enough to accept that he will do what is right for him, for them. I am in the US and his family is in Turkey. We chat almost every day online in broken Turkish and English. I have never been so loved. In fact, his parents provide a better example to me of what a family should be then my own. Please dont judge everyone by the actions of 2 people. That is what is wrong with our world today. If we all thought this way, my son and I would have missed our chance at the beautiful family my husband and I have created.
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| 134. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:45 pm |
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Quoting CANLI: ok now i have questions,
We are Eastern too,and its forbidden as in religion and SHAME as in tradition to have sex outside marrige for both men and woman.
İ mean none married men cant talk about having sex and be proud about it among others.
So,my question is,
İs it acceptable there for Turkish men to have sex outside marrige and not acceptable for women ?
İ mean,do men talk about it as it is normal to have sexual affair but at same time its shame for women ?!
Or is it not acceptable at all in society ? |
YES. A very big yes. Unlike many muslim societies in Turkey, a married man is forgiven very easily if he has sex outside marriage. There's even a disgusting famous idiom "çapkınlık erkeğin elinin kiridir, yıkar geçer" which means "adultery/cheating is the dirt of the man's hand, he washes his hands, and there it's gone". But for woman, it's a dirt that she can never wash off, it stays there all her life as a dishonor.
There're a lot of women who are ready to forgive their husband for cheating wheareas it's a very big shame for the wife to cheat. Men can even boast about it, no problem, his male friends will consider him such a great man, but if a woman does it ever, her female friends will call her a slut. The society reprooach the man a bit if his cheating is found out, but it's always ready to forgive him, and would say to the woman "come on, forgive him, he has amde a fault, all men cheat", but if it's the woman, she's done such an unforgivable thing.
So, it's nearly normal for men to cheat, but for women it's unimaginable.
Ohhh, how frustrated I am about this!
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| 135. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:51 pm |
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Ohhh God,poor women !
How do they have a normal marriage then if its acceptable their men can cheet on them ?!
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| 136. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:55 pm |
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catwoman-- I don't know what to say to that, I am questioning all the time why he wont stand up to them, they hate me so much for no reason and swear they will never talk to him again, I dont know if they have broken him down so much or what, im really lost as to why he wont fight them, he feels he owes them everything i guess 
qdemir- thank you, i know what your saying and point taken well.
Nucuk34- wish to god things could be that way for me. How wonderful for you, congradulations.
MRX?? I don't really understand your statement can you explain.
I try not to judge based on his parents but right now I'm PISSED beyond words, and have no idea what to do.
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| 137. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:55 pm |
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cheeting not a right neither for men nor for women.and yes males more weak about that,but who can defence an unethical and unfair attitude???
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| 138. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 06:59 pm |
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Quoting CANLI: Ohhh God,poor women !
How do they have a normal marriage then if its acceptable their men can cheet on them ?!
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No woman want that their man cheat on them, they do not marry accepting this, they become very upset and sad if their man cheat on them, but if it ever happens, the woman get angry at him, her heart breaks so much but there's always a high percentage that they can settle things and save their marriage. If it happens more than once, if it becomes unbearable for them, the woman divorces, but as I said you cannot ever compare it to the cheating of woman.
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| 139. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 07:00 pm |
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karekin04
Maybe he is fighting it there in his way,so he wont lose his parents too.
Turkish are patient people,and its just taking time maybe thats it ?
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| 140. |
13 Jul 2007 Fri 07:05 pm |
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Quoting CANLI: karekin04
Maybe is his fighting it there in his way,so he wont lose his parents too.
Turkish are patient people,and its just taking time maybe thats it ? |
I have been letting him do things his way since the first time they said break up 2 years ago, now i dont know wwhat to do.
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