hi christine !!

I am really happy that you are so positive -- i am trying to stay that way too!! and when i am in turkey i will make time to try and access this site from there with an update!!!

i hope things work out for you christine and ,indeed, for all of us !!

i agree that there is good and bad everywhere in the world -- but it would be nice to hear of a few more success stories on here!!!

love to you all, ELAINE XX

Selam everybody, when i was reading everyone posts, it really makes my brain think at the same time stronger. I do have a problem, but different from you guys.. Anyway I think it’s best for us to question ourselves what do we really want in our life..
Love does not mean to be together… Sorry to say this, but base on my experience.
So I wish you guys all the best in your Life & hope your days are filled with Love..

Hi all

Thanks for all of your posts, it's been really interesting reading. I have come to a decision to end it with Hakim because unlike your guys, he has been asking me for things and my head says it is a bad sign. Also, having come out of a troubled relationship only recently, I fear that I would have come across as a bit vulnerable and needy and that's why I have attracted someone like this. I wanted to believe he loved me and wanted me even though he is ten years younger and fit, but that was my sheer desperation talking. Since we met, I have bought him a silver bracelet and given him money. He has asked for a mobile phone, a camera, whisky for his uncle, english cigarettes and a present to take for his mum and dad when we visit them!! Sorry, but to me, that sounds like he thinks I am a walking wallet!! I really hope no one ends up in this position and hope that you really have found genuine loving guys who want you for you and not a way into your bank account and country.

Speak soon, stay in touch...

Andrea xxxxx

Andrea,

I m really glad that you came to these conclusions, although I can understand that it hurts to realize that you have been taken advantage of. The good thing is that you woke up on time, before he could use you more and empty your bank account.

I know that love makes people blind, deaf and sometimes silly, but how can someone believe that a serious human being would propose marriage after a month (or less)of being in a relationship and with a period spent together not more than 2 weeks?

And, if I m not mistaken, you fall in love with somebody, mostly cause of what he is (his inner world, his personality, his dreams, his ambitions, his fears etc). How can you fall in love with someone that you cant even speak the same language with? I see translation requests, where even the word evet is being unknown. Yes, translations help but how much can you really tell about eachother, through them?

As for money and present requests, well... Turks, like Greeks, when decent, are really traditional on these subjects. No decent man would ask for presents, or would let you pay for him. They are too proud to do so.

I wont talk about the age difference, cause when people are in love, age is usually unimportant. Still though, this could be one more thing to consider.

Christine's man, looks sincere. Why? Cause when he talks about marriage yet, he does it while he is through a ...romantic crisis. And most of all, I got the impression that he is honest, from one sentence where christine wrote that he cant imagine himself living in her country. Which means that the guy is not after a visa at least

Anyway, I m the last person who could judge or critisize, but really, open your eyes and see the signs. This would save you from a lot of trouble and heartache.

Good luck to you all

+1 Sophie . Turkish men are proud and if they are sincere about their feelings would NOT ask for anything from you and would be embarassed to do so. If his feelings were SINCERE he would be trying to shower YOU with gifts, not the reverse . Well done in making such a difficult but wise decision .

hi Andrea, i wish u good luck in your upcoming Love Life.. May u find the person who love u more than u do..
Take Care

Hi Andrea,
If any man asked me for money i would have no hesitation in ending it. And , if when i go back to turkey i get asked iwill be on the first flight home!! so ,well done ,Andrea although ican imagine how hard it was

One point that Sophie made was a good one and that was regarding the language barrier--- i do agree there but I feel i can not give up just because of that . When i met Ali he could hardly speak a word of english but thanks to his sheer determination ands with a little help from me he is coming along great -- which is more than can be siad for me with turkish


Ihad a discussion about money with him yesterday and i explained how little i get compared to the cost of living here -- he seemed surprised but it doesn't put him off in the least. I think he thought that the cost of living here is as cheap as in turkey


Anyway , once again thanks to all of you -- I look forward every night to reading all the new postings

take care , ELAINE XX

Dear Andrea,

I know you must be feeling a loss, but it sounds like deep down you listened to your heart. It is a good thing to find out now rather than later. You deserve to be honored and showered with gifts, no matter how small.

I agree with most of what I've read here, even the language portion. I think love has many layers and stages unique to each couple at a particular moment in time. What I'm tryin gto say is that love is actually defined only in the context of a particular twosome. I don't think there is a static definition, or progression towards love.

No way can two people love each other in the fullest way, if they can't speak about the depths of who they are. But, Elaine has a point, one who falls hard and madly into "in love" or "infatuation" can be greatly motivated to learn to speak a language. That is a true test for both persons involved.


I wish us all what we deserve!

Hi Ladies:
I was reading your posts. I just wanted to say that I think somewhere people have forgotten the point of dating. Dating is to determine if you are suitable for marriage. It seems like people here are falling in love, planning marriages and then determining if it is right for them. Come on ladies! If it looks like a rat, smells like a rat, acts like a rat...IT IS A RAT!!! It does not matter which country this he/she rat comes from. I have traveled widely and have met charming men from my own country, USA, South America to Europe and women too...people will try to get over if they feel that they can. You have to teach people to respect you. My mother always said, "if you lie down on the floor, don't be surprised when you get stepped on!" Don't get desperate. Love WILL find you when it's time. I am a christian and know that God has plans to prosper us, bless us and give us true happiness. Wait!