Hi all

I've got a problem. I met my Turkish b/f when I was on holiday in August this year. I like him a lot and since I have been back in England he has been calling and texting every day. He was very keen for me to go out there again and indeed, I have booked to go back in November this year. However, since telling my close friends and my mum and dad, I am having doubts because they think I am barmy! Firstly, I am a 35 year old divorcee with a 17 year old child (yes he knows all of this) and they think I should know better. Secondly, they are sure I am going to be in danger as their view is that Turkish men are only ever after sex, money and a visa to come live in England. I was elated and excited about going back in November but now I feel confused and worried. Especially since my bloke, Hakim keeps asking me to bring various things over for his family etc. I am now wondering if I am being taken for a ride. Not only that but he has already talked about marriage and the possibility of children in the future and I thought he was joking! My mum thinks that if I go over I am likely to spend every penny I've got keeping him, his freinds and family occupied the whole time. Hakim is not rich, he works in a bar for the summer months only and he seems so sincere and lovely. However, now I don't know what to do.... Any advice or has anyone been in the same boat?

Many thanks

A rather sad.... Andrea

I would love to be putting your mind at rest but I think it is important that us ladies are honest with each other.

There are a considerable amount of Turkish men who feign love in the hope of a visa and/or money. There are equally a lot who genuinely fall for you very quickly although in my experience they fall out of love just as quickly.

There are also those that really are genuine!!

The only unfortunate thing is that there is no way of knowing but if there are alarm bells ringing then you must listen to them. I was once engaged to be married to Turkish guy who I ended it with when he asked me for money. I don't regret ending it but I still feel for him and often wonder wether he genuinely needed the cash or wether he was attempting to play me.

I'm going on a bit now but there really is no true answer other than to trust your instincts and be wary if you are parting with your money.

Hope all works out well for you - and if you've already booked why not just go and see??? You never know!!

Hi

Its Me Nickie from the translation site!

I am exactly the same - met my turkish boyfriend a month ago and am due back in just over a week to see him.

I am also divorced with two children and he has also mentioned marriage and another baby!

I have same concerns and fears as you - as do my family and friends! HElp/chat ? !

x

HI ANDREA , AS YOU ALREADY KNOW I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION -- I MET MY MAN IN JUNE AND WE CHAT ON MSN ,TEXT AND PHONE EVERY SINGLE DAY . HE HAS NEVER ASKED ME FOR MONEY OR GIFTS -- ONLY SOME ENGLISH HAIR GEL!!!!
I AM GOING BACK TO HIM IN 3 WEEKS TIME AND WE WERE GOING TO TRY FOR A VISA BUT HE HAS NO MONEY AND EVEN THO I DON'T HAVE A BAD INCLOME I HAVE NO SAVINGS AND AM NOT IN A POSITION TO GET A LOAN. I ALSO HAVE KIDS AND AM NEARING 40!!!!AS WELL AS WORKING I AM ALSO STUDYING FOR A DEGREE AND IT IS MY STUDENT LOAN I AM USING FOR MY VISIT. HIS FRIEND TELLS ME I WOULD NEED TO PUT MONEY IN HIS BANK BEFORE HE CAN GET VISA -- HE WOULD GIVE IT BACK BUT MY MAN HAS NEVER ASKED THIS OF ME. WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT GETTING MARRIED AS I HAVEW HEARD IT IS SOMETIMES EASIER TO GET A SETTLEMENT VISA RATHER THAN A HOLIDAY ONE. I AM SURE HE LOVES ME AS MUCH AS I LOVE HIM . WHEN I PHONE HIM HE IS ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT MY PHONE BILL!

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HIM BUT I DO NOT KNOW HOW I WILL COPE WITH LEAVING HIM AT THE END OF 2 WEEKS . IT WAS BAD ENOUGH LAST TIME I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING BUT CRY FOR WEEKS AFTER I GOT BACK HOME

I HOPE WE CAN STAY IN TOUCH ANDREA AS WE SEEM TO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON

ELAINE XX

ANDREA/ELAINE,

I think we all have the same fears and concerns! would love to keep in touch.

Nickie x

Yikes, to add to that, I just got my phone bill and it's £180 quid!! Arrgghhh... Are your men Kurdish or Turkish, mine is Kurdish and I am wondering if that should make a difference?

I am still in very mixed minds. On the one hand I don't want to waste the money I have spent on the tickets but on the other hand, I don't want to feel obliged to spend every penny I've got when I'm over there!

I keep trying to justify by saying, he is not rich, he only works at a hotel and has no work during the winter so he can't help having no money However, then I think that an English woman with money will seem even more attractive for exactly that reason!

Andrea xxx

Dear Andrea, Elaine, and Nickie,

Add me to that boat! I met my bf in July and have talked with him nearly every day since my return on 6Aug. I just spent my savings on a return ticket for my winter holidays. I use a calling card from nobel.com to phone Omer and it costs 22cents a minute from USA to talk. I think it is much more expensive for him to phone me from Turkey, but he insists on doing so- it’s a pride thing for him. Another way we connect (for free) is IM chat on MSN- I bought a webcam for next to nothing, and we can see each other and talk for hours on Sundays. (he doesn’t have a computer at home0

He works at a pretty posh summer restaurant that closes tomorrow for the season, and fortunately, he has a job at their winter restaurant, which opens in two weeks. Regardless, he only makes between 350 and 500 YTL plus tips a week.

I feel madly in love with him, and he me, but reason tells me this is a ludicrous venture. But, am I following my head? No- my heart is guiding me on this one.

He has never asked me for anything monetary. He did ask me to contact a cancer doctor in the USA for his father to inquire about a clinical trial at Istanbul. If he asked me for anything monetary/gifts.., I would end the relationship. To me, that would be a HUGE red flag. Like your bf’s Omer has talked about marriage and kids too, but not in a very serious way. He is very romantic and very emotional, and he gets carried away with “I love you so much I just want to marry you”. Or , “I would love to have a baby before my father dies”…Things like that when he gets excited. I have thought about the marriage thing from a practical level, because I want him desperately to come here and meet my family and friends.

I don’t know what to expect when I return in December. I am trying to stay focused in the present with my feet on the ground. I do know that I am meeting the rest of his family in December. That is a good indicator of a serious person. In terms of going out and spending money when I am there, I also don’t intend to pay for everything, but understand we might eat and go out to places that he can afford. It’s very important for him to be able to feel like he can provide for me. Fortunately, we are renting an apartment with a kitchen, so we can eat more affordable- and he’s a great cook

In terms of the future I have a very teaching job here, with excellent benefits and phenomenal pension plan, I can’t imagine giving that up and moving to Turkey, yet Omer can’t imagine moving here. Actually I think he would hate it here. He loves the Turkish way of life as do I. If all goes well during my winter visit, I do plan on returning to study next summer for two months at Bosphorus University. If that goes well, I will return for a year. (I am eligible for a one year sabbatical).

The hardest part of all of this, is I feel at any moment he might fall in love with someone else, or fall out of love with me. Or, I might find out- we are just madly infatuated with each other and not compatible in a long term way. We have only been together for two weeks- How can that possibly be love?
Yet, it sure feels like it...

I am relieved to hear that all of you are struggling with similar issues. Please keep in touch. I am eager to hear any advice, and find out how things turn out.

Thanks for sharing and listening!
Christine

Dear Andrea, Elaine, Nicki and Christine,

Add one more to the boat!! I will also be visiting Turkey in December. I met my bf here in the US and then he went back to Turkey. I have visited twice since then and he has also asked me to marry him (although no ring)but I said not yet. I didn't feel we knew each other long enough. I feel the same way, is it infatuation or true love. I also have a very good job with a school district and excellent benefits, but on my last trip we were looking at places to live and jobs for me. I feel we all have a lot in common and would love to chat with all of you. I guess all we can do is keep our eyes open. Hope to talk more.

Wendy (lovebug)

Hi to you all ,

It is wonderful to know i am not alone . tonight i have spoken on the phne to him for 1 hour and on msn for 2 hours even tho his english is poor!!!! i feel a bit low as all i want is to be with him. i am sure you all know that feeling I think it is going to be hard to get him a visa even if we get married - i would love to live in turkey but i have 3 kids to think about. and i do not know what jobs i could apply for . have any of you tried to apply for a visa for your man??

i have friends in turkey who tell me that the men can not be trusted and that they only want visa -- and that they have lots of english women they chat up and ask to marry. i find this hard to believe of my man but maybe i am wrong. i ,too, am using my savings to go back in 3 weeks time then after thati will not be able to return until january and again that is using my student loan!!!

saometimes i feel it is so hard and i don't know what to do , but i can not end it with him i love him too much. thank you all for being here -- it is great to know that you are all in similar situations .. let us all keep in touch and ahare our worries and our happy times too

love to you all , ELAINE XX

TO ANDREA

it doesn't make any difference to you if he is kurdish but many turkish people do not like kurdish -- it is a political thing i think !!

my phone bill was £120 for this month!!! and like you i don't want to spend all my money when i go back. but i know he is poor and that is how i justify it too -- but then i a have very little money also
it is a sad situation

i am so looking forward to being with him but i dread having to leave him


if any of you fancy a chat and have msn my address is elainealison4@hotmail.co.uk

would be lovely to chat xxx

ELAINE XX

Dear Elaine,

Please don't worry so. The truth of the matter is in your heart.

If you listen, you will know. The heart does not deceive.

Maybe, your life will be totally different. I cannot share advice, as I do not have children to think of. When you go again, I suggest you ask him everything you think and worry about. If he is true, he will answer. It might be a good idea to prepare your serious questions in advance in Turkish.

I am going to do the same when I go in December. I wish I had two weeks like you rather than just ten days.

I'm curious, will you be able to stay together in a place, and does he have to work, or will he be able to devote all of his time to you?

I am scared about spending ten days with Omer because we will come to know each other in a very different way than when we were on vacation. I am also excited by the possibilities that might emerge in our together spaces.

I'm wishing you the best!

Christine

Hi Christine,

thank you for your message!!! I guess I do worry but I have never felt so much emotion in my life as I do now!!

We will be staying together when i go back -- Ali works as an electrician/plumber with the appartments i stayed in on my last visit so we are staying there at a reduced rate
He finishes his job there the week before i arrive ,so it will be like a holiday for him too.

Ali seems to think tho that he will easy get a visa to England -- but i know this is not true!!!! He has no money and neither do I !!!! buty we will still try!!
as i have heard that sometimes they just say yes anyway!!

i ,too am a little afraid of spending 2 weekswith him and also he will be getting to know the children better-- tho most turkish love kids anyway

What worries me the most is that i will not be able to leave him at the ebd of the two weeks -- it was bad enough last time!!! When i got back to england my life was a mess as i was sodepressed and sad without him

Also I know he is very unhappy too. I wish I could wave a magic wand so we could live together easily. Iwould be happy to live in turkey but i do not think i could find a job easily and i have the kids to support too.

Having said all this I am not going to give up -- I will listen to my heart:0

I hope everything goes well for you too -- lets keep talking as it is so good to share our feelings !

Also i think it was a good idea of yours to prepare some questions in turkish for him -- i wil have to ask on here for some translations!!!

Hope to hear from you soon

EALINE XX

I guess I'am the only one here so far that would be able to talk to all you ladies a bit more rationally because I have been there more then once with turkish men and have been married twice to turkish men!

From my experience I will say to guard your money and your hearts because it will be gone in no time while you remain with these men. Yes, there may be a few honest ones, but not all!

They all come on sweet and charming, they tell you so easily 'I Love You', some will talk of marriage and children, of course they sound so sincere when they say they want to introduce you to their families, some will even ask for money or gifts for themselves or their families, but at the end you will be the one that loses.

Both of my ex-husbands are turkish, both of them completely different with different backgrounds and education. One was poor with only high school and working in tourist resorts while the other one was a university graduate and a successful businessman, but still the same in many ways.

Andrea, as your family said they are mostly out to get sex, money or a visa from the foreigen women, yes they are right, but then there are some of the TC members here that may say it isn't so because they are married to turkish men, well all I can say to them is that I wish them well in their marriages because then those are the rare ones that were true to them, but you can't trust them all.

I can go on and tell you many things about turkish men that you ladies do not seem to know about yet, not enough time to say everything here, but only I can warn you.

Whether you ladies take my advice or not it's really up to you, but listen to what it is that your gut feelings are telling you since it is usually right.

I wish all you ladies much luck

hi cat leo

thanks for the advice!!! part of me thinks you are right but part of me wants to think that the guy i am with is different!!!! but only time will tell . he hasn't ask for money yet and i have already told him i have none ....which is true!!
i also had turkish bf in england once and i found it difficult as he was very dominant!!

But I am sure there are some lovely guys too who are genuine-- lets hope me and the rest on here have found them!!!


ELAINE

hi cat leo

thanks for the advice!!! part of me thinks you are right but part of me wants to think that the guy i am with is different!!!! but only time will tell . he hasn't ask for money yet and i have already told him i have none ....which is true!!
i also had turkish bf in england once and i found it difficult as he was very dominant!!

But I am sure there are some lovely guys too who are genuine-- lets hope me and the rest on here have found them!!!


ELAINE

Dear Andrea, Elaine, Nicki, Christine and Wendy.

I hate to say the truth but I wish for you all not to get hurt.
It's a long story so I will just say it simply.
Basically I had a turkish boyfriend, who I split up with because we always ended up arguing because we could harldy see each other. Anyway I found out he was cheating on me (and not just with one girl!). The day I split up with him he attacked someone and he is now spending 8 years in jail. (I still don't know the full story)
Also my friend was being cheated on by a turkish man too (twince!).

Anyway as you see turkish men are not always the best one's to trust, but I have freinds who are male turks and they are very nice (one in particular) and genuine but I am afraid to say to you that there are very few. But the one's who are genuine are the nicest guys ever.

good luck to you all with your relationships

Thanks Kai and cat. I really do appreciate your feedback. I guess deep down I have the same feelings, but his family seems so genuine and nice and they have never asked anything of me. I am going in December and now I am worried I have done the wrong thing by going again. I will be aware and careful and keep my eyes open. Of course I will have to ignore my heart (which is sometimes difficult to do)

Anyway, I really do appreciate your advice and I will heed it.

Thanks again,

Wendy (lovebug)

hi kai!!

thanks for the warnings!!! i think we will all be careful with our men from now on!!!

i guess i hope my one is different cos he hardly speaks english and is very shy . also he doesn't work as barman or waiter -- but i guess only time will tell . he spaeks to me on here every night and also by phone every other day. everyone heworks with (females too) say he is a one of the best and a really good guy -- we shall see!!!!!!!!!!

it is only 18 days til i go now and will let you all know how it turns out!!! maybe he will be put off when he sees in reality that i really do not have much money !!

anyway thanks to you all for listening and for the advice

love to you all

ELAINE XX

Kai,

Your story is a sad one. It's a good thing you got away from him. Believe me, I am definitely warned. But, in all places there are good men and bad men. Good women and bad women. I would be broken hearted if that happened to me. But I don't think we can generalize. It comes through loud and clear on this site, that devoted faithful, genuine men are few and far between.

As we all know, life holds no guaruntees. If we each search our souls, we know if we should continue or not. I think we are all very intelligent insightful women, who are not going into any of this with blinders on. I truly have not one regret about my time with Omer. I hope that continues.

I think as long as noone is being hurt, you must pursue your heart. Love, for me, is more of a journey than a destination. And, it involves in this situation a certain amount of risk.

I think it is also important for me to return to Turkey not just for Omer, but because I have a genuine interest in Turkish Studies,language, feminism and Islam. Of course we could break up, but hopefully, I'll be connected to my interests.

I wish everyone the best! Please keep us posted Elaine on your journey,
Christine

hi christine !!

I am really happy that you are so positive -- i am trying to stay that way too!! and when i am in turkey i will make time to try and access this site from there with an update!!!

i hope things work out for you christine and ,indeed, for all of us !!

i agree that there is good and bad everywhere in the world -- but it would be nice to hear of a few more success stories on here!!!

love to you all, ELAINE XX

Selam everybody, when i was reading everyone posts, it really makes my brain think at the same time stronger. I do have a problem, but different from you guys.. Anyway I think it’s best for us to question ourselves what do we really want in our life..
Love does not mean to be together… Sorry to say this, but base on my experience.
So I wish you guys all the best in your Life & hope your days are filled with Love..

Hi all

Thanks for all of your posts, it's been really interesting reading. I have come to a decision to end it with Hakim because unlike your guys, he has been asking me for things and my head says it is a bad sign. Also, having come out of a troubled relationship only recently, I fear that I would have come across as a bit vulnerable and needy and that's why I have attracted someone like this. I wanted to believe he loved me and wanted me even though he is ten years younger and fit, but that was my sheer desperation talking. Since we met, I have bought him a silver bracelet and given him money. He has asked for a mobile phone, a camera, whisky for his uncle, english cigarettes and a present to take for his mum and dad when we visit them!! Sorry, but to me, that sounds like he thinks I am a walking wallet!! I really hope no one ends up in this position and hope that you really have found genuine loving guys who want you for you and not a way into your bank account and country.

Speak soon, stay in touch...

Andrea xxxxx

Andrea,

I m really glad that you came to these conclusions, although I can understand that it hurts to realize that you have been taken advantage of. The good thing is that you woke up on time, before he could use you more and empty your bank account.

I know that love makes people blind, deaf and sometimes silly, but how can someone believe that a serious human being would propose marriage after a month (or less)of being in a relationship and with a period spent together not more than 2 weeks?

And, if I m not mistaken, you fall in love with somebody, mostly cause of what he is (his inner world, his personality, his dreams, his ambitions, his fears etc). How can you fall in love with someone that you cant even speak the same language with? I see translation requests, where even the word evet is being unknown. Yes, translations help but how much can you really tell about eachother, through them?

As for money and present requests, well... Turks, like Greeks, when decent, are really traditional on these subjects. No decent man would ask for presents, or would let you pay for him. They are too proud to do so.

I wont talk about the age difference, cause when people are in love, age is usually unimportant. Still though, this could be one more thing to consider.

Christine's man, looks sincere. Why? Cause when he talks about marriage yet, he does it while he is through a ...romantic crisis. And most of all, I got the impression that he is honest, from one sentence where christine wrote that he cant imagine himself living in her country. Which means that the guy is not after a visa at least

Anyway, I m the last person who could judge or critisize, but really, open your eyes and see the signs. This would save you from a lot of trouble and heartache.

Good luck to you all

+1 Sophie . Turkish men are proud and if they are sincere about their feelings would NOT ask for anything from you and would be embarassed to do so. If his feelings were SINCERE he would be trying to shower YOU with gifts, not the reverse . Well done in making such a difficult but wise decision .

hi Andrea, i wish u good luck in your upcoming Love Life.. May u find the person who love u more than u do..
Take Care

Hi Andrea,
If any man asked me for money i would have no hesitation in ending it. And , if when i go back to turkey i get asked iwill be on the first flight home!! so ,well done ,Andrea although ican imagine how hard it was

One point that Sophie made was a good one and that was regarding the language barrier--- i do agree there but I feel i can not give up just because of that . When i met Ali he could hardly speak a word of english but thanks to his sheer determination ands with a little help from me he is coming along great -- which is more than can be siad for me with turkish


Ihad a discussion about money with him yesterday and i explained how little i get compared to the cost of living here -- he seemed surprised but it doesn't put him off in the least. I think he thought that the cost of living here is as cheap as in turkey


Anyway , once again thanks to all of you -- I look forward every night to reading all the new postings

take care , ELAINE XX

Dear Andrea,

I know you must be feeling a loss, but it sounds like deep down you listened to your heart. It is a good thing to find out now rather than later. You deserve to be honored and showered with gifts, no matter how small.

I agree with most of what I've read here, even the language portion. I think love has many layers and stages unique to each couple at a particular moment in time. What I'm tryin gto say is that love is actually defined only in the context of a particular twosome. I don't think there is a static definition, or progression towards love.

No way can two people love each other in the fullest way, if they can't speak about the depths of who they are. But, Elaine has a point, one who falls hard and madly into "in love" or "infatuation" can be greatly motivated to learn to speak a language. That is a true test for both persons involved.


I wish us all what we deserve!

Hi Ladies:
I was reading your posts. I just wanted to say that I think somewhere people have forgotten the point of dating. Dating is to determine if you are suitable for marriage. It seems like people here are falling in love, planning marriages and then determining if it is right for them. Come on ladies! If it looks like a rat, smells like a rat, acts like a rat...IT IS A RAT!!! It does not matter which country this he/she rat comes from. I have traveled widely and have met charming men from my own country, USA, South America to Europe and women too...people will try to get over if they feel that they can. You have to teach people to respect you. My mother always said, "if you lie down on the floor, don't be surprised when you get stepped on!" Don't get desperate. Love WILL find you when it's time. I am a christian and know that God has plans to prosper us, bless us and give us true happiness. Wait!

Oh wow add me to the boat too. I have a Turkish boyfriend and I'm an 18 yr old female currently living in America. he's never asked me for money or anything, he doesn't have much money though either. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing something completely crazy... my family atleast thinks it's insane..that he's using me because I'm a lot younger than he is. but I'm following my heart and I quit caring what they say. sometimes I feel so lost though. I hope I can go over and see him soon, i'm looking for internships that will send me. Just follow your heart, and there's no harm in going again if you already have it booked, just tell him that you don't have much money and if he really cares he'll drop it. I honestly wish you the best of luck with this!!

Sincerely,
Evadne

As I read these posts, I don't think for some of you dating is an option. Due to your boyfriends living abroad. Long distant relationships can be very difficult as I have experienced. We all have that fairy tale we dream about, meeting that special someone. Sometimes there's a happy ending and sometimes there's not. Just some personal thoughts of mine from experience to think about. I use to think that my heart doesn't deceive you, but in fact your heart does. I think that's where the problem lyes, that women think to much with their heart and not enough with their brain. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel or be emotionless, but most of us women know when something doesn't sit right and there are red flags. But then our heart tells us different and we ignore these signs. First be smart about it, use your head, then follow your heart. If it's meant to be in your plan, it will happen. Believe me, I am too a hopeless romantic I will admit. But using my brain has led me to more successful relationships in my life. You just never know what God has planned for you. I wish and pray your fairy tales come true. I always love a happy ending.

the biggest advantage is that''u wont have to pay for food when u go a restaurant and wont have to pay for a film in other words u wont pay when u go out bcos they ll always be ready to pay for everything (no matter they have money or not ,they find it smehow)

disadvantage ,u ll get bored of listening same love words...bcos english is pooor of love words...or im wrong i think turkish is reach in love words anyway...its my perspective

I would feel very uncomfortable allowing someone to always pay for me. It doesn't seem fair, and also makes you feel "obligated" to that person. Plus...I would feel I had to order the cheapest thing on the menu and the cheapest wine - when, in fact, I have very expensive tastes hehe

We seem to have gone from relationships abroad to offering to pay whilst on a date. Everyone worries to much about little things and are forgetting the most important things. As I said about my story before, that was just a little of someting that effected me. The worse thing is that I put someone who I really cared about, in danger of their own life and I will never forgive myself for that. So please don't worry about what to wear on dates, and who should pay when they should be the least of your worries.
PLEASE JUST TAKE CARE OR YOURSELF!!!

I wish you all the best of luck, been there and am still there three years down the line, it gets harder and harder to come home having spent time with my b/f which is a couple of times a year. I tend to trust to easy and wear my heart on my sleeve as i am sure lots of us do, i have been hurt before but now I try and put on my sensible head every now and then. I have done the family thing and have notcied that both b/f and family can be very demanding of your time (thats my only critisism) for now!

It important to listen to your heart but always tread cafefully... Just keep telling yourselves if it is meant to be then it will be ... and always remember don't cry because it's over smile because it happened. life if full of ups and downs it just depends on how well we handle it.

once again good luck to you all

...not drunk enough to handle me your bank accounts - nor your whips!

i should add few more things like;

*if u go out with friends without him,he would disturb u thousands of times by calling u and when u see him next time u would like to say''god damn the day i met you''

*he will try to change ur mind while shopping''honey this mini skirt shows u so cheap,u are a big girl and u should wear sth serious like wide jeans (if u were not his gf he would make u to buy it and watch u while u are walking)

*he ll be in your everyminute and u ll get bored sometimes,but when u think a life without him it ll look like impossible and such an empty life(bcos this salak man fills ur every free minute by calling,or meeting with u)

*more than that if u cant pay for ur credit card pay he would offer u to pay it for u and if you dont have a cell phone he will buy u one with sim card in it(that u can only call him for free)

Hello lady's looking through the posts is seems it all women with turkish boyfriends..... I can't be the only english guy who has fallen for a turkish female??

Well what can i say we met pool side at a hotel, she spoke very good english and dresses well. We done the full dating thing, talking romantic sun kissed walking, kissing, etc.
She told me of her problems in life and how she needed a change ect.
While on my hols she was in a relationship with a guy in the navy over there and she was pregnant with his child but he did not want the child and she did.
She told me that she does not love this man and she wants me and does not want me to leave after my holiday ends.
I also have reason to believe that he is handy with the fists too.

One month on back in england she text me saying she has left the boyfriend and not pregnant anymore now living in Didim now with her sister, and looking for a job for her self, starting new life.

I think of her every second of the day and my entire mind is bent on getting back to Turkey to find out if she is be in true to me in regards.

I have spoken to several muslim women in england (one turkish) about the situation i am in and what i can do about it. Some say i should forget about it and move on some say i should go over and keep on the side lines and some say just get in there and enjoy is.

I do coin in my pocket through my house burnig down and some property investments and she did want to get out and go to college and better her self..

Mabeys i have whats called knight in shining armour complex, were i see a person in need i try to help etc.

but every day i worry about her and whats happening over there.

If i do go over there will she trick me in to marriage to get my money or get to england or is she truely wanting me for me..I heard from some muslims that they are taught from a early age to do exactly this and take yout cash and get out of turkey.
The problem is if i forget it will i spend the rest of my life wondering what if......??????

thanks
Sir Richard Newcastle

Sir???? !
You should check out the posts by Loveprague - he has a Turkish girlfriend

Sorry.. the sir is a joke of my friends and the knight in shining armour thing i have for women they call me sir richard.... lol

lol did u just release one on the sly? nothing to pardon me about me thinks

just like to say that i agree with ramayan's points..although i would never let a man pay for everything..i earn my own money which is mine and he has is..if i want to buy him something i will..as he does me..
in regards to men asking for things..perhaps he has no money or perhaps he really is a sleaze..u have to decide for yourself..
me and my husband have had our problems but we are reconciled now and i have to say he has totally changed..
and kai..chin up darling..

*if u go out with friends without him,he would disturb u thousands of times by calling u and when u see him next time u would like to say''god damn the day i met you''

*he will try to change ur mind while shopping''honey this mini skirt shows u so cheap,u are a big girl and u should wear sth serious like wide jeans (if u were not his gf he would make u to buy it and watch u while u are walking)

*he ll be in your everyminute and u ll get bored sometimes,but when u think a life without him it ll look like impossible and such an empty life(bcos this salak man fills ur every free minute by calling,or meeting with u)

*more than that if u cant pay for ur credit card pay he would offer u to pay it for u and if you dont have a cell phone he will buy u one with sim card in it(that u can only call him for free)

thats my husband to a 't' ..although he doesn't say i look big he says i can buy it 2 wear indoors but no way for outside..even once when i wore tight jeans he said i looked cheap and shouldn't wear them again because people were looking ..and he does permanently call me if i go anywhere..even for 5 minutes i just think that is funny how true it is HAHA

i read your sad stories guys alas, where you guys found the people for dating who are poor or uneducated. i have no comments about it..

but just the friendly advice most of turkish people are honest and they don't want women money.
i know that doesn't make sense for you..

thatz the reality . i was born in Turkey i grep up there too. but alas i live in USA lately and im afraid i ll be living here for years..

meanwhile, if you guys have question about turkish guys. i ll try to give you honest answers

catch me later guys

gorusuruz insallah

thanks for your lovely comments.

as a turkish guy whenever i go out with girls i never make them paid so far im not rich don't look like that im just turkish thatz what i saw/learned from my family
also turkish people i can say %80 are honest! if im wrong you can feel free to judge me

so anyhow, don't find your bf/gf from the holiday places. as barmen, waiter, belly boy, bus boy etc.. most of them coming from different cities and looking for rich girls

hah so don't make yourself hunt by them..

some tips how you can figure those people out:

Most of them wear
1.gold necklace.
2. white T-shirt
3. black pants
4. white socks
5. black tapered shoes..
6. weird hairs

just stay away this kinda people

thatz true ..

if you don't mind.. i have a question for ya..

where do u live? and what do you do for living?

no reason just my curiosity thanks for respond

no i just wanted to learn coz i was curious about you are Turkish thatz why asked

talk to later
i gotta go now..
school is over..
kids have already gone

Where is sophie now ?? lol

not with me

I read this thread with interest and wish you all good luck in your relationships.I have been to Turkey many times and if i had a pound for every marrage proposal i had recieved I would be rich.I don't have a turkish boyfriend, but have a special friend. This friend has never asked me for any money or presents. I have taken him a small present when i have visited him, but he aways sends me a present in return at christmas.If any turkish man asked me for money or presents. I would end all contact with them.

Have any of you ever heard of " skype " This is a program you download onto your computer and if the person you want to talk to also downloads this program you can talk for free.If the person you want to talk to cannot download the program. You can use your skype to talk to them on a landline for a small fee.