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handsome,you dont read my posts !
Have i said its a rose garden ?have i said its easy ?
Didnt i say if you want something you will need to pay effort ?
İf you want to make your own desicions,and if you also want to have your parents approval,you will have to pay effort for that,lots of effort ´if they werent approved of course´
Which will make you personally more happy,if you marry to the one you love and also have your family loving her/accepting her,or when you marry the one you love and your family hate her ?!
İf you want this....you must pay effort to have it !
I am not so sure if you really believe in your heart what you are saying..
You, a person saying that your parents approval is a must, telling me a character that her decision making is even done according to approval of your family..
Think about it..Even when you were thinking to make a decision about your husband, it is more likely that the first thing you have thought that how your family will like him..
If they said ´no way´ I wonder what you would do.
I am not an expert in your culture but it is better if we dont try to show everything as a rose garden here.
Many of the girls and boys sticking with traditional values, end up doing what their parents want them to do and optimistically believe that it was their choice.
İ said must,should,try
Meaning....must,is the first thing im thinking of,it wont take much thinking to know,when im marrying the one i want and when my family are accepting it,it will make ME more happy
Then,if they dont like him/her...then i should have their approval ´meaning keep trying to have it till i persuade them ´ then i get married
Then if they still dont approve,and i REALLY believe he is the right one for me despite that,then i marry him...and keep trying to have their approval even afterward
And thats when i refered to the 4 cases and i explained about them...thats actually happed not theoretically speaking !
I know what I typed there. Dont worry..I will defend everything up there if you come up with a credible critisisim
I am Turkish..Are you telling me that I dont know my own country and its traditions?
yes to that question too..I do UNDERSTAND what I am saying..I wrote it in the first place.
and what is wrong there according to you
Well,actually no,but what you are saying,that ´im sorry but thats what it means´ Turkish men are weak and they cant make their own decisions because most of the Turks do follow traditions !
You are Turk,but it doesnt mean you know all Turk also,as i edited in my post,i do know many who follow traditions,and also have their parents approvals ´blessings´ on their doings not just for marriage issue.
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I am raising a family here Canli.
Look, even traditional values you grew up with made you think that your values are the only way to raise a proper family!!you can not comprehend that they might have been wrong..or there might have been a better way..
This is sad..
Actually handsom,its not my traditions,its readings in other societies stiuations.
İn the 60th they were supporting the ideas that ´ we dont need anyone except ourselves,we dont need our families no more....ect´
But later,they start to support and increase the family values,and how important it is ,and how familes should stick together
And that happened because of many social diseases.
So its not something me nor my cultural responsible about.
İf you read my previous posts,you would see that i said,not every tradition is good and not every tradition is bad
But we cant just throw traditions just because they are traditions,and i also said,you wont be able to maintain them back
We can see other people´s experiences and start from there,we dont need to start from where they started,we can be more smarter than this.
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hmmmmmm, and what brought alameda here now ?! 