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I am a bit perplexed about what you are trying to say to be honest canli.
you are saying that ´Parents approval is very important..VERY much important too,and one should NOT take such an important decision without their approval. Marriage is not just 2 persons fall in love and be together,is 2 families,2 situations...ect´
what is a marriage got to do with 2 families?
why parents´ approval is so important that one should not take that important decision without their approval?
Well, for the sake of respect, you tell them that you found your love and will get married but you are talking in a way that their approval is a must. And it is part of ´our precious tradition´.
Your parents will not live with your husband but you will..
İ didnt think such question would be needed to ask,for the answer is very much obvious
The fairy tale that,prince charming will come over his white hourse and take the girl away and live happily ever after has proven by time its just a fairy tale.
That version of ´what marriage got to do with family,im the one who is going to marry not them ´ became even an old one at the West
People there found out that,after they got married to the one they want,they STİLL want to have their families,even when they were young and immature,thinking that,´we dont need them any more,we can make it alone by ourselves´ they found out even they can make it,STİLL they need their families
İ dont believe i need to say why !
So yes,my parents will not live with my husband but i will.....but STİLL,i want to live with my husband between my family and his,accepted and loved
So actually,not everything traditional is bad,not because its tradition,that we must stand against it.
We should know better,we dont need to start from where they started at the west,they have problems there,and many,we can be more smarter and start where they have ended
That man is an example of a typical man raised up ´without a character´ because of his parents´ traditional values, which in Turkey we are trying to get rid of.
And I am sure you know very well that "we must,should,try have parents approval...but personal choices is,we make our choices" is not that easy..They will do anything from refusing you as a daughter to emotional blackmail.
When you put ´we must´ into that sentance you have no choice..
This is a cultural part which played a huge role in that guy´s life and the entire thread is about cultural differences..
Again,not everything happen you blame it on traditions,traditions not all bad,and also not all good,but saying you are trying to get rid of traditions,you will only have yourself to balme !
İn the West,the ones who gave up ALL their traditions good/and bad claiming that its an old thing ,they try to maintain them again,and its not easy,if its impossible to do in whole society
That man is just a weak man,cant make his choices,nor decision,and that has nothing to do with traditions,he only uses it as an excuse,something to blame !
We have same traditions here,but as i said normally it be the girl´s problem not men,i mean in some cases parents dont approve,and girl struggle to have their approvals,not the other way arround!
İ saw 4 close examples,2 happned 30 yrs ago,and 2 happend 10 yrs ago,i can say parents were right %50...and the men were MEAN,and the other 2 were good than they can ever be
STİLL,it wasnt easy,and i never said its easy to have all what you want,those girls struggle to do what they want,to marry those men,and at same time have their parents approvals,in those 4 cases,some manage to have it before marriage,and even parents were happy about it,some manage to have it before marriage and parents were NOT happy about it,some didnt have it,and manage to have parents forgivness after marriage.
İn 4 cases,parents support those girls after marriage,as any family do,in good and in bad,and even when that bad was the choice those girls made,parents also support them
Because that is what families do...stick together
Actually,if you want,you can pay the effort,and make the desicion you want and also have parents approval...it has nothing to do with cultural,its all about personality !
But to blame it over traditions.....that is just an excuse .
PS: You is generally speaking
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