Actually, this kind of behaviour can be a huge turn off for men. Rightly or wrongly, assumptions about a woman´s character is often made because of  the way she dresses and often men don´t find it attractive.

Of course men also dress for attention and I´m sure there are many women here who like nothing more than to appreciate the sight of a man´s well honed body . . . just look at all the attention thehandsom gets

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcwuUj8ba4I&feature=related 

Thank you for your time Erdinc.  Now you mention the diploma, I remember that is what the relative wanted and my friend did try to explain something about being able to sign for things.  Still, I think the daughter is right to refuse, something drastic could happen to a building the other person signed for and that could have serious consequences.

As for the first case, it happened in 1983 and my friend retired a few years ago, I think she is in her mid 40s now and is retired after some years working as a high school teacher, once her daughter was a little older.

Thanks again.

I wonder if anyone can explain something to me.

I was recently having a discussion with a Turkish friend of mine and she mentioned she had been able to retire earlier than she had thought.  The reason she gave was, after she graduated she married and started a family straight away, so did not work. However she gave her ´details´ to a friend who was in need of a job and, it seems, the contributions this friend put into my friend´s retirement fund (I don´t know what it´s called in Turkey) for those few years were  eventually of benefit to my friend.  

A few days later my friend´s daughter came home from work in an angry mood.  She had quite an argument with her mother and father.  Father and daughter are both engineers in the family building business and it seems a distant relative had approached the father, asking if they could have the daughter´s C.V. so they could apply for an engineering job they wanted (even though they had an engineering qualification of their own).  The daughter was adamant that she did not want to hand her C.V. over and her parents were not very happy with her view.  I didn´t understand the finer points but felt sympathy for the daughter.  My friend said it was common to do this in Turkey and that her daughter was over reacting.  She also said her daughter would receive more pension years as a result.

It sounded very complicated to me and I´m still puzzled by it.  Firstly, is a C.V. in Turkey something different to my understanding of a C.V.?  Secondly . . . well secondly I´m totally confused by the whole thing!

modified:  Sorry, I´ve just realised I posted this in the wrong forum

 What an enjoyable read Ros!  I remember seeing dolphins there on my first boat trip.  On my latest visit to Turkey I saw several whilst staying in Tatlısu.  Beautiful to watch.

Thank you.

 I ran out of kontors .

Sorry Canli, I didn´t read your post carefully enough about the culture issue.  I understand what you are saying and you have a point.

About his age . . .  I don´t think we know enough about his home circumstances to judge him for not making his own mind up.  If he is living with violence, it may not be that easy.  There are many adults all over the world living with domestic violence, children, women and men and it can take many years to gather the courage to escape.

Perhaps I´m being too soft

...

I think both Teas and Canli have good points .  I understand what you´re saying Canli , that a man is not worth waiting for if he isn´t prepared to fight but in this case I think Teas has a point about the possible future.  I say this because, as I read the story, I understood the circumstances to be that the man´s father is violent and stops his son even from leaving the house. 

I also understand what you say about the culture and the command parents have but, unfortunately parents aren´t always right or well meaning.  Who know if these two people are right for each other but it´s a shame they didn´t get the chance to find out.  It´s a pity there wasn´t a meeting but that´s in the past now. 

I can understand the parents´ fears and also the needs of the couple.  I think traditions are changing slowly but surely in Turkey and it is hard for all the generations to cope with and perhaps  these tug of love situations will become more common. 

Just some thoughts on the situation.