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Turkish girls!!!
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150.       AEnigma III
0 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 06:51 pm

Some of you really shock me!!!! Having sex before marriage does not equate with loose morals! I would not recommend marrying as a virgin to anyone!

Sexual chemistry is as important between two people as love. Its possible to have one without the other. I would never take the risk of marrying someone I loved but had not had sex with! The "joy of discovery" on your wedding night may not be what you dreamed! lol

With regard to marriage, if you are religious then fine. If you are not, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with living together (some of you use the word "shacked up" or "living in sin" as a as if you are from the 1950s!!!). I know many people who chose not to marry years ago and have far more loyal and committed relationships than married people. In addition, I hate the underlying "ownership" which marriage brings (on both sides).

Do you want to put someone in a cage and hope they stay inside or do you want to keep them free and always know they choose to be with you

There is, of course, an added advantage. You never become a "wife"

151.       lada
15 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 06:51 pm

Quote:

Quoting Elisabeth:


Dont forget living in sin..When you decide to shack up with a man before marriage.. Back in my parents, grandparents this was considered immoral. In fact the girls who lost their virginity before marriage were considered sluts. But now were in a new era and I believe it's more commonly accepted.



I don't understand living together before marriage...I like the element of surprise! That would just take the mystery out of the first few months of marriage. lol But you are right, I remember when my brother moved in with his gf years ago...very scandalous! Had the whole family talking for days. As soon as we realized that he would not get struck by lightening.....the talking stopped! lol


all i wanted to say that virginity should be a choise of a girl,women..not the choise of parents,religion...cult of virginity is just another one mistifikation so it is a big mistification that Eastern women dont open they legs so easily
and F F,of course,virginity should be part of moral values
i am not saying that i am not valuing virginity,all i want to say it should be a choise of a girl,women...
and what about stolen virginity,we all know so manny cases when uncule or father is sexual abuser of a child,what about her value of virginity,who will marry her?
i know i went a little too far..but turkish women is not only about virginity and raising a child..

152.       SERA_2005
668 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 07:00 pm

Quoting AEnigma III:

Some of you really shock me!!!! Having sex before marriage does not equate with loose morals! I would not recommend marrying as a virgin to anyone!

Sexual chemistry is as important between two people as love. Its possible to have one without the other. I would never take the risk of marrying someone I loved but had not had sex with! The "joy of discovery" on your wedding night may not be what you dreamed! lol

With regard to marriage, if you are religious then fine. If you are not, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with living together (some of you use the word "shacked up" or "living in sin" as a as if you are from the 1950s!!!). I know many people who chose not to marry years ago and have far more loyal and committed relationships than married people. In addition, I hate the underlying "ownership" which marriage brings (on both sides).

Do you want to put someone in a cage and hope they stay inside or do you want to keep them free and always know they choose to be with you

There is, of course, an added advantage. You never become a "wife"



My god! The world has gone mad,we finally agree on something!! I can't believe it.

153.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 07:01 pm

Is it love day again on TC?

154.       SERA_2005
668 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 07:08 pm

Quoting Elisabeth:

Is it love day again on TC?



I wasnt aware we had a first love day.

155.       Trudy
7887 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 07:08 pm

I was never married by law but I lived together with someone for 11 years (after a year of LAT). We had a notary contract because we bought a house together, we shared pension rights, we were administrated by both our employers as 'a couple' so we had the same rights as in marriage in cases of extra ordinary leave (like for weddings, funerals e.g.). All the paperwork but also the pain the split-up gave me, made me just call it 'my divorce' even I know some people would not consider it that way. I can assure you, there is no difference in pain when you get betrayed. That piece of paper you get at city hall will not protect you nor will make the pain worse.

Before that relationship (and also afterwards) I had other relations, some shorter then I planned, but I'm not the only one who decides to continue, am I? I am absolutely not a 'loose' type, I don't go for a ONS, but yes, it has happened to me. Am I bad because of that? I don't think so. People who think I am should consider the biblical saying 'only one without any sins can throw stones' (literally translated from Dutch, but I guess you can get the meaning).

156.       AEnigma III
0 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 07:39 pm

Quoting Trudy:

All the paperwork but also the pain the split-up gave me, made me just call it 'my divorce' even I know some people would not consider it that way. I can assure you, there is no difference in pain when you get betrayed. That piece of paper you get at city hall will not protect you nor will make the pain worse.



I complete agree - been there, got the tshirt

157.       AEnigma III
0 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 07:53 pm

Quoting SERA_2005:

My god! The world has gone mad,we finally agree on something!! I can't believe it.



Definitely a "dear diary" moment lol

158.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 07:54 pm

Quoting Trudy:

That piece of paper you get at city hall will not protect you nor will make the pain worse.


i do understand what you are saying.
and theres no way a piece of paper would protect any kind of marriage. its not the document, its our mind and commitment. its your attitude to the institution of marriage. if you take it serious you always think of those promises you gave to each other in public. and those promises are not empty words. you are totally convinced in what you are involved from now on. many people take that day so romantic, a day of a white dress and lots of flowers with a shampaign.
see, my marriage is not ideal, far from being ideal. there are days when i want to kick him out the doors and just go start the divorce process. never ending ups and downs.
and again those promises shouldnt let (depends on your conscience) you easily have affairs with other men/women.
its easy to get tempted or to judge someone falls. and very difficult to keep up to the values/norms.

as you see its not easy for me to say : NO to sex before marriage, knowing that many people would oppose this statement, calling me old fashioned or judgemental.
it would be far more convinient for me to give up the norms i value and let them vanish, which of course would make my life much easier.

159.       femme_fatal
0 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 07:56 pm

Quoting Elisabeth:


Nicely said...and I mostly agree. I tell my son the same thing.


liz lol
what if our children give no shit to what we say?

160.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 14 Nov 2007 Wed 08:03 pm

Quoting femme_fatal:

Quoting Elisabeth:


Nicely said...and I mostly agree. I tell my son the same thing.


liz lol
what if our children give no shit to what we say?


What can you do, Femme? Express your disappointment, tell them that you love them and move on. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.!

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