If I were you Id rather be the chief black eunuch than the isolated sultan who lives in complete seclusion in the harem quarters of his palace, which together with some other factors has given way to the strong influence of harem women on politics..

 Catwoman as in Royal Plural

Where is my contacts box!!!!!  

 Currently recovering from her shock on my too liberal ideas about sex and prostitution, and wondering why she never noticed any of this during our shortlived but happy marriage.

 They picked me, apparantly they aren´t as selective as we like to think

I couldnt watch it either, but I read about it online. I live in a village. Civilized, but still a village   Ttotally agree on the conspiracy though. Maybe these Turks who speak of conspiracy ARE right after all

Yeah, don´t believe if you hear any of the rumours about ME.   

 Sounds like you must be my sister Mary Poppins then