If that rule is an official and legal one (I dont know), I have found another reason never to want to apply to Turkish citizenship. My first always was that it could get me in jail for criticizing something. The second was to have to put your religion on your passport (and dont tell me ´it is not compulsory´, not writing it simply means you are not a sunni muslim, so you might as well just write it), now the third is the name change.

I really object to it. I understand that letters that are not in the Turkish alphabet are changed, I think it happens everywhere for a logical reason. but a full name change? I was born with this name. My parents gave it to me and I consider it as a sort of gift from them. They named me and it made me theirs even more. So who are ´you´ to take it away for funny reasons as  ´you like it when we learn your language´ (I dont see the connection with my name really.), ´you have difficulties pronouncing our names´ (then make some goddamn effort, like it was that easy for us to pronounce your names), ´you want to make us feel like we are one of you´ (we already felt like that otherwise we wouldnt apply for citizenship I suppose, and apart from that, you could easily give someone a second nick name or whatever, but take away something so personal and then say ´we just wanted to make you feel at home´?? )

Really.

 I relaly liked the film too but I thought it was a bit superficial, I suppose it could have been much funnier! There is a Turkish-German version of it too ´Benim çýlðýn Türk düðünüm´ (Meine verrückte türkische Hochzeit). Its about a German who falls in love with a Turkish girl (the actress was half german half indian though ) from a rather conservative family. he then becomes muslim etc etc. It all went kind of fast, but it was still a nice film as well.

 +1

 No.

Yes, but as I said, I merely tried to stress the way you put your argument. I didnt even feel like reading more of your argument after reading ´women should do this, that´.

As for my personal idea: I would choose the road in between, and I would temporarily quit my job if I were to give birth untill ´they´ are a few years old. But that is just a personal choice. I just dont agree with your opinion that a woman is the vital part of a marriage and family life, and the fact that ´the man didnt feel like a man anymore´, maybe has to do with ´how society sees what a man should be´.

 No I know you didnt mean it the way I described. I was jsut refering to the way you put your sentences. That was too sexist. And your argument of ´isnt it the reality of whatever country you are living in etc.´ is a wrong one: it just shows that societies ahven´t changed fully

And I dont know what the reason is Im not god. All I know it takes sperm as well to get something in your belly

 That is very generalizing statement ´it just doesnt work in Turkey´. I happen to know quite some cases where women are happy being at home and being uflltime mom, but also where the mother has a succesfull job.

If you suffered because your mom was working, then it could well be that your mother and father apparantly weren´t able to share their time spent at work and at home well.

These sentences make the rest of your argument very weak. It is this kind of opinion about how a woman should be, that makes the patriarchal society go on.

Apparantly a woman is the vital part of a marriage, I always thought it was the COMMÝTMENT of TWO people, where two people share the responsibility of having a family life and where both people give each other attention.

The thing you described above sounds like a female slave who is there to cook, clean, take care of the kids and please her husband when he comes home from work. If the marriage fails, it was all her fault, because she was the vital part.

 There are bigger issues. Doesn´t mean that the headscarf issue doesnt need to be solved quickly. The example I gave why your idea isnt applicable to all of Turkey, was related to other factors as well, not only the conservative families in (mainly) rural areas (where also boys cant take education for granted). But the headscarf issue in itself, is also a problem in the cities and it is causing a conflict among population that doesn´t need to be there.

 That is how you like to see it

 It DOES prevent people from getting an education. There may be a whole lot of religious families for whom it is already a big step that they let their daughter study (yes this in itself should be changed, but things dont go overnight, and it is a good progress that conservative families let their daughters participate in education as well). You can understand that for a family for who it is already hard to make such a decision, this might be the factor that makes them decide not to send their daughter to school. Another notion: a degree online generally is much more expensive than going to a state-sponsored school. You should keep in mind that the majority of Turkey isn´t very wealthy. And I think you forget the age that people generally go to university. ´Your choice´ is easy to say, but many people at the age of 18 are still financially dependent on their parents and tehrefore are not able to make a 100% independent choice.

Your view is way too simplistic. A lot needs to be changed in Turkish society before any person at that age to be fully ´responsible for own actions´.

And besides all this, the headscarf ban is just discrimination. There is no law that prohibits any woman with a headscarf to go to university. However, there are vague laws about the prohibition of political signs. These days the debate of headscavres isnt just about putting it on, it is about HOW you put it on  The idea is that the way some headscarves are put on, represent Islamic political thoughts. I find this absurd. It may be true, but in that case you ban people from education because they have ´dissident opinions´ on politics. That sounds very dictatorial! And the religious devout guys, apparantly are allowed to have ´dissident opinions´, because they are not denied the right for education.