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thehandsom 21 Jul 2009

Animalistic sex, Innocent love

´women for fun´ and ´women for marriage´


I think I mentioned several times in the forum about how Turkish men categorize women as ´women for fun´ and ´women for marriage´.

Lets go a bit philosophical about the subject and try to analyze why and how.. (well in the end, sex sells ;) )

Although some people would try to lower the sexuality by describing it as ´the animalistic side of humans´, but some would say it is ´an innocent and guilt-free act´.

But the important aspect of both descriptions is that "Sex is natural"..

When you think of it, I think sex is much more than a natural reproduction instinct  because emotional and physical pleasure from sex is more important to us ( than just making babies here and there :) )


Since the necessity of living together as a community, having sex with some one has always had some rules and it is called  marriage.

As we know, sexuality, as an activity, induces our feelings at the highest level..And we call this high level of emotional state as ´love´..

From this perspective, we can say that "institutional way of sex is marriage and  the state of emotions is love"


But of course, once the communities put the rules, they would put the punishments for the ones who are not obeying the rules too.

Then, came the ´sin´. 


As we all know, one-god religions associated themselves with the sins a lot (comparing to many-god religions)

All these religions have been promoting "the spirituality for the other world". (Benediction ways in Christianity, Catholicism, strict rules of Islam etc.)

Basically, they put a huge gap between ´spirit and material´ and this gap created a huge barrier  between  "sex and love". Then, during early stages of these religions "love has been  romanticized, exagerrated, overstated"


But of course, the desire of sex or instinct of having sex is very  powerful and it kept existing but somehow the satisfaction was sought in a kind of ´over-glorified love´..

Then came the ´adultery´ when that spirituality did not provide the necessary satisfaction.(If I can not have  love and sex in a holy institution of marriage, I find it somewhere else --´I´ means generically speaking BTW :P ) 


But in the east, morals of  strongly male dominated society, totally rejects the adultery.

Now, in the west it has been possible that, love and sex can be found in the same woman. 

But in the eastern culture, the woman for love and the woman for sex are completely different. 

Because sex is dirty but love is innocent and clean (and the love can only be tolerated if "it is a clean and innocent" anyway) so that there is no way these two feelings can exist for the same woman.

Many of men end up with this bizarre idea that as a man ,you can fall in love with a woman but you have to satisfy your sexual needs with another woman..

Because the pleasure from sex is so animalistic and dirty that if a woman who is sharing that pleasure is not worthy of love!!


That is part of the reason why ´a decent woman´, somehow, is NOT associated with sexuality. 


Top of this, when the talk about sex in popular men culture are dominated by ´how the woman is made to this/that and  how she is destroyed by the man´ and  with the made up news such as ´Helga liked it and wants more´ etc, our men gets more and more confused. 


Anyway, this situation is quite unhealthy  and a foreigner should be a bit more careful about getting caught in a relationship with man who is unaware of above dilemma ..



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