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Male-Female Friendships in Turkey
(87 Messages in 9 pages - View all)
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1.       biklzz
3 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 03:10 am

I have question for those who understand Turkish culture. Do male-female friendships exist in Turkey that aren't necessarily tied to work or some professional function? Friendships where you would ask the person (say the boy asks the girl) to go get something to eat after a class. Or, possibly, asking a girl out for a date/dinner.

I get the sense (from things I've read and experiences I've had with Turkish exchange students) that there something taboo about boys and girls being together unless they are in a relationship. Something having to do with namus and ayip.

I'm sure this varies based upon the area in Turkey you're from, but I'd like some insight from those who can say what it's like in their part of Turkey.

2.       kai
0 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 03:33 am

Yeah tabii.

I have male friends who are Turks One friend owns a shop (day activity trip shop) and I just sit with him and talk and no-one is bothered by it or thinks anything of it. I talk to another man who works there too.

All my male Turk friends are nice and have never tried anything on with me. One said he had a girlfriend who he loves very much and would never dream of cheating on her which is very nice because he still talks to other girls without thinking anything of it - just friends

So basic answer to your question is yes you can have a friend who is the opposite sex to you in Turkey.

3.       harikayim
103 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 06:34 am

I agree with Kai that there shouldn't be a problem with us girls having male friends in Turkey, but what about going out as friends?? How friendly can you get with the opposite sex before eyebrows start raising?

Today I read this comment by someone who says he's Turkish:
"Also consider this. There are some institutions missing in this society. For example friendship between men and women. It's so difficult ask for example a girl to go for a drink. Let's say you have a boy friend, I have a girlfriend. In the some company. I say to you, let's have beer and chat. I tried that several times. Once the woman showed up with her husband "Hey, I'm not stealin' nobody "moods don't cheer you up here. So you can't sustain friendships, either you two go further, or stay detached. I can guarantee this is 100% the case"

He was responding to this question

Comments/insights anyone??

4.       kai
0 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 07:48 am

Quoting harikayim:

I agree with Kai that there shouldn't be a problem with us girls having male friends in Turkey, but what about going out as friends?? How friendly can you get with the opposite sex before eyebrows start raising?

Today I read this comment by someone who says he's Turkish:
"Also consider this. There are some institutions missing in this society. For example friendship between men and women. It's so difficult ask for example a girl to go for a drink. Let's say you have a boy friend, I have a girlfriend. In the some company. I say to you, let's have beer and chat. I tried that several times. Once the woman showed up with her husband "Hey, I'm not stealin' nobody "moods don't cheer you up here. So you can't sustain friendships, either you two go further, or stay detached. I can guarantee this is 100% the case"

He was responding to this question

Comments/insights anyone??



Well I went out with my friends for a drink...and some I kissed on the cheek and cuddled. I don't see why it should be seen as a problem in any country, it's like saying a man cannot socialise closely with any women without people suspecting something.

There is a thing called friendship people!! oof honestly I don't see why that is a problem with some people. I have just as many male friends as I do female, if not more and some I'm very close to and I love them all to bits

5.       robyn :D
2640 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 11:45 am

Quoting kai:

Quoting harikayim:

I agree with Kai that there shouldn't be a problem with us girls having male friends in Turkey, but what about going out as friends?? How friendly can you get with the opposite sex before eyebrows start raising?

Today I read this comment by someone who says he's Turkish:
"Also consider this. There are some institutions missing in this society. For example friendship between men and women. It's so difficult ask for example a girl to go for a drink. Let's say you have a boy friend, I have a girlfriend. In the some company. I say to you, let's have beer and chat. I tried that several times. Once the woman showed up with her husband "Hey, I'm not stealin' nobody "moods don't cheer you up here. So you can't sustain friendships, either you two go further, or stay detached. I can guarantee this is 100% the case"

He was responding to this question

Comments/insights anyone??



Well I went out with my friends for a drink...and some I kissed on the cheek and cuddled. I don't see why it should be seen as a problem in any country, it's like saying a man cannot socialise closely with any women without people suspecting something.

There is a thing called friendship people!! oof honestly I don't see why that is a problem with some people. I have just as many male friends as I do female, if not more and some I'm very close to and I love them all to bits



well.i had lots of male friends.some get the wrong idea about why we are friends..and some don't..either way we should be free to have friends male or female without judgement..in an ideal world but we don't live in an ideal world and people just talk if a man and woman speak..just my view

6.       KeithL
1455 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 06:24 pm

Very rare I think. I strongly disagree.

7.       Trudy
7887 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 06:36 pm

Quoting KeithL:

Very rare I think. I strongly disagree.



Strongly disagree with what? The friendships itself or the fact they are very rare?

8.       robyn :D
2640 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 06:47 pm

Quoting Trudy:

Quoting KeithL:

Very rare I think. I strongly disagree.



Strongly disagree with what? The friendships itself or the fact they are very rare?



thats what i was wondering

9.       KeithL
1455 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 08:58 pm

I think in all close male-female friendships, one of the two has romantic interest in the other.

10.       Trudy
7887 posts
 04 Dec 2006 Mon 09:00 pm

Quoting KeithL:

I think in all close male-female friendships, one of the two has romantic interest in the other.



Sorry to say Keith, but what an old-fashioned opinion. I have male-friends I am absolutely not romantically interested in and they not in me - and no, they are not gay!

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