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Funny English
1.       bliss
900 posts
 22 Nov 2005 Tue 08:14 pm

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.

1. In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notice.

2. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.

3. In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

4. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

5. In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

6. In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

7. In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

8. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

9. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.

10. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Coolers and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

11. On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

12. In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

13. A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

14. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

15. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

16. In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

17. In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

18. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.

19. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

20. In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

21. In the office of a doctor in Rome:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

22. In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

2.       Chris123
156 posts
 22 Nov 2005 Tue 10:27 pm

HeHeHe - you have cheered me up today! Will send this to all my friends!!

3.       bliss
900 posts
 22 Nov 2005 Tue 10:28 pm

Hehe.I am glad to hear that.You need that.Good luck.

4.       miss_ceyda
2627 posts
 22 Nov 2005 Tue 11:14 pm

iv just forwarded that to some of my friends too.. hehe very funny... thanks for posting those bliss

5.       bliss
900 posts
 22 Nov 2005 Tue 11:40 pm

My pleasure.
Good thing we learned in childhood - SHARING

6.       miss_ceyda
2627 posts
 22 Nov 2005 Tue 11:45 pm

thats strange u say that i just said "thanks for sharing that" in the other thread! hihi

7.       Attila
144 posts
 23 Nov 2005 Wed 12:07 am

8 12 20 21...they just killed me off
and others shot me dead

they were soooo funny!!!!!!

8.       miss_ceyda
2627 posts
 24 Nov 2005 Thu 12:21 am

hehe these have got to be the funniest..

17. In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

13. A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose

8. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

9.       si++
3785 posts
 03 Feb 2013 Sun 09:38 pm

For Yarvik´s review:

Quoting bliss

Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. 1. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notice. 2. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: - English well talking. - Here speeching American. 3. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. 4. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor. 5. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. 6. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. 7. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. 8. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. 9. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. 10. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Coolers and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. 11. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm´s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose beef rashers beaten up in the country people´s fashion. 12. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. 13. A sign posted in Germany´s Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. 14. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages. 15. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? 16. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man. 17. In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. 18. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. 19. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. 20. In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. 21. In the office of a doctor in Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases. 22. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

 

 

10.       Laleler
84 posts
 07 Feb 2013 Thu 09:12 am

16. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

burada ne demeye çalışmış ki

aklıma bir sürü ihtimal geldi

 

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