A light subject for the weekend

A middle-aged man begs his girlfriend: "I am tired, dead tired, of taking you out to concerts, sending you flowers and candy, thinking of jokes and witticisms. I want to relax, I want to rest... Please marry me so that I can exercise my right of ignoring you."

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“The biggest error of the Turkish male is that once he gets the girl, he becomes an utter ox,”

By some particularity of the language, calling someone an “ox” in Turkish is neither a reference to his strength nor virility, but his lack of manners, courtesy, subtlety and intelligence. Thus, a well-pronounced exclamation of “Öküz” (ox in Turkish for the uninitiated) to an erring driver that cuts you in the traffic is a very good usage of this noun/adjective. “Öküz” is also the apt response to an ex-boyfriend who fails to remember your birthday, a lover who insists on having his secretary order red roses for you..

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“The sensitivity of the man ends as soon as the seduction is over. Once he is sure that he is got the girl, he says ‘Well, now I can be my old insensitive self.” And then, the Turkish woman responds by the complaint that her husband “didn´t use to be like that.”

http://www.turkishdailynews.com.tr/article.php?enewsid=117213

I think this is a two-faceted problem. Women are treated like little children who need to be spoiled and the whole responsibility for "doing things" is on the man, and not equal for both partners. It is no wonder that the guy is sick and tired of it. Both partners should be doing nice things for each other and not out of the feeling of ´duty´, but out of desire (and then he will be ordering the flowers himself ).

Catwoman you are right but as you say most women are irreversibly that way and so are most men and we are supposed to live in this world. Life keeps flowing with its enermous power and complexity with all the mistakes and shortcoming of people that live it.

Picture yourself in the middle of a fierce fighting where everyone is shooting at one another.It doesn´t matter how peaceful you essentially are, you must take up that rifle and shoot just like others to save your hide. After a while, you become a part of that war, and the war becomes life itself. We can´t always live according to our expectations. Certain aspects of humans will never change. For example, for both males and females, power is a desired end and the clever ones do know how to get it.

Sooner or later you find yourself in the position of having to grasp the true nature of humans:

they are as evil as they are good; they are as deficient as they are complete. One philosopher described human as the measure of everything partly because human has the potential for becoming everything.

I completely agree Vineyards... I think you have a very important point of view, however, I think that there is a tinge of compromise and giving up in it. We seem to be always the same, but we are really not. Humans change incredibly. While we have to "fight the battle" at this point in time in order to survive, we can at the same time introduce new ways of thinking... spark a discussion... and then take it into our lives. I have done that myself..

A little bit more on the subject -- I think that many Turkish women do think of themsleves as ´princesses´ and they expect some kind of royal treatment from their men. A male equivalent is a macho man whom the princess finds attractive. Both are ridiculous, overdone, artificial. Let´s drop the facade of a princess and a macho and just be normal humans. Express love and attraction towards each other in a natural way for as long as it lasts.

Well, again, I am not in the position of judgeing people´s love affairs and how they build their relations. If both a girl and a boy overly indulge in each other sending SMS´s, being jealous of each other etc., that is perfectly normal to me. People behave differently in different ages. It will all settle down hopefully to a more mature sort of behaviour in the course of time.

But he or she has changed... I hear this terminology all the time from women and men.  New relationships are like starting a new job, your always at your best or try to be.  Then the honeymoom period is over and you see who that person really is.  You decide to get married and then all of a sudden he or she has changed.  I think we over look what we don´t want to accept in relationships and there are a number of red flags we tend to overlook.  But I happen to think it´s been right in front of us the whole time.  I don´t necessarily think the other person has changed, just your expectations have.

Because we are only humans and we are supposed to make mistakes. Let their biggest mistake be jealousy. If we try to turn every little problem into a big one, we lose the big picture, this also applies to feminism, machoism just to name a few.

As for the big picture, this world is a cool place and it is wonderful to be here. Let us concentrate on positive things that we can do to enjoy it and to produce happiness both for ourselves and others.

The moment you single yourself out from the rest problems begin. The same is true for your attributes. Let us embrace all cultures, all races, both sexes (gays and lesbians too). Happy is the one who does not discriminate others according to what they are.

And what is wrong with that ???

I always try to keep flowers in my living room - not for anyone else.......just for me.

Of course I buy my girlie flowers and other presents on a regular basis, and she does the same for me - but when on my own I like to have flowers around the house.