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ECONOMIC THEORY
(20 Messages in 2 pages - View all)
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1.       yilgun-7
1326 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 02:30 pm

What do you think about this economic theory?

 

“Economic Theory

Economy explained using cow theory:

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

 FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two female giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ´Cowkimon´ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don´t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive. “
 
By Katharina Heidebrecht
 (
Amazonas GmbH)

 

 

 

2.       lady in red
6947 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 02:41 pm

 

Quoting yilgun-7

What do you think about this economic theory?

 

 Heard it before but still quite funny! {#lang_emotions_lol}

3.       amnariel
138 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 02:49 pm

 

Quoting yilgun-7


AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don´t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

 

 This one gets me every time lol lol lol lol lol

4.       ninja
157 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 06:07 pm

Thanks for your post Yilgun.

How about the description of Turkish economy? What would you write about this?

Looking forward to reading this.

5.       azade
1606 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 06:46 pm

Some of these are obvious classics. I even believe we had them in textxbooks in social studies As for the last ones, someone must have way too much time on their hands

6.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 07:22 pm

 

Quoting ninja

Thanks for your post Yilgun.

How about the description of Turkish economy? What would you write about this?

Looking forward to reading this.

 

 TURKISH CORPORATION

 

You have two cows

You tell them both that they are greatest cows on the planet

They still don´t understand that they are just COWS!

7.       geniuda
1070 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 07:33 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

 TURKISH CORPORATION

 

You have two cows

You tell them both that they are greatest cows on the planet

They still don´t understand that they are just COWS!

 

 {#lang_emotions_lol_fast} {#lang_emotions_lol_fast}{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

8.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 07:59 pm

Thanks Yilgun, didn´t hear this before - loved it

9.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 07:59 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

 TURKISH CORPORATION

 

You have two cows

You tell them both that they are greatest cows on the planet

They still don´t understand that they are just COWS!

 

  lol

10.       yilgun-7
1326 posts
 29 Oct 2008 Wed 10:58 pm

Ninja, because I am not an economist, I have no any description of Turkish economy.But I can learn it from my economist friends.

Maybe I can read EU ( European Union), IMF (International Monetary Fund) and WB (World Bank)´s  publications on world economy.

 

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