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Relationship among the Internet usage and the loneliness of Turkish adolescents
(19 Messages in 2 pages - View all)
1 [2]
10.       teaschip
3870 posts
 28 Sep 2009 Mon 04:05 pm

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

I think the reason you don´t see many children playing outside is because of the fear of child abduction.  Given some of the news lately, it seems to be a well founded fear. Look at the case of poor little 11 year old Jaycee Dugard, Elisabeth Smart...............and sadly a very long list of stolen children.

 

 

Kids were being child abducted for years..I think Jaycee´s case it was over 18 years ago.  Maybe there has been a rise, I don´t know since I haven´t researched it.  Most of your neighborhoods have fences enclosed in the backyard.  I just think parents have become then lazier if they can´t find the time to even sit in their backyard and watch their child on a swingset.  Maybe their parents are spending too much time on the internet themselves...

11.       _AE_
677 posts
 28 Sep 2009 Mon 04:10 pm

 

Quoting teaschip

 

 

Kids were being child abducted for years..I think Jaycee´s case it was over 18 years ago.  Maybe there has been a rise, I don´t know since I haven´t researched it.  Most of your neighborhoods have fences enclosed in the backyard.  I just think parents have become then lazier if they can´t find the time to even sit in their backyard and watch their child on a swingset.  Maybe their parents are spending too much time on the internet themselves...

 

 +1000

There is strong evidence that child abduction and child abuse have decreased in "modern" times - maybe because it was a taboo subject and not considered a crime socially until the latter part of the 20th century.  If parents are over-cosseting their children then it is the fault of the scare mongering media.

 

There are some historical papers which document child abuse/rape as commonplace and "fair game" - especially if the child was born into poverty...



Edited (9/28/2009) by _AE_
Edited (9/28/2009) by _AE_
Edited (9/28/2009) by _AE_

12.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 28 Sep 2009 Mon 07:30 pm

There is a certain amount of fear in letting your children outside alone.  I think most parents are always fearful of the worst.  However, there isn´t any reason why, as a parent, you can not go outside with your kid/s and play with them.  What is better than going outside to play after working all day....NOTHING!  I think adults take life a bit too seriously and we are teaching our kids to do the same.  Besides, playing ball or riding a bike with your kids everyday is MUCH cheaper than any gym. My opinion is that some parents have really messed up priorities and they are missing out on the joys of parenthood by being "too busy."  



Edited (9/28/2009) by Elisabeth
Edited (9/28/2009) by Elisabeth

13.       alameda
3499 posts
 28 Sep 2009 Mon 07:49 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

There is a certain amount of fear in letting your children outside alone.  I think most parents are always fearful of the worst.  However, there isn´t any reason why, as a parent, you can not go outside with your kid/s and play with them.  What is better than going outside to play after working all day....NOTHING!  I think adults take life a bit too seriously and we are teaching our kids to do the same.  Besides, playing ball or riding a bike with your kids everyday is MUCH cheaper than any gym. My opinion is that some parents have really messed up priorities and they are missing out on the joys of parenthood by being "too busy."  

 

I agree with most of what you say Elisabeth.  I think another issue is...."it takes a village" type mentality. In the "Good Old Days"...lol....community members took more responsibility for the children............

 

Another issue is....children need time to be with other children.  There is a time for parents to play with their children and a time for them to be with other children.

 

Parents and responsible adults need to be aware of where their children are.



Edited (9/28/2009) by alameda [edit]

14.       _AE_
677 posts
 28 Sep 2009 Mon 08:57 pm

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

 In the "Good Old Days"...lol....community members took more responsibility for the children............

 

You have frequently referred to "the good old days" in many social matters - including sexual and family ethics.  I have no idea of your age, but this is rather typical of people who spent their childhood during the hypocritically puritanical 1950s.  They seem to assume that these "values" that were fashionable in that decade had been around for centuries when, in fact, they were merely a social reaction to the promiscuity that existed during the two world wars and the very radical social and sexual revolution which took place in the 1920s.

 

The chocolate box image you seem to have of "community" and "family" are exclusive to the middle classes of that era only and in those "good old days" there were no safe places for those children to run if they were being abused or hurt - such matters were swept under the carpet for fear of precious family reputations being bruised.  It has been well documented that in many villages and communities there were often networks of paedofilies, often including local prominent figures like police officers, teachers, local politicians who would abuse children in that community with no fear of reprisals.   Some of these stories are only just coming to light thanks to the removal of taboos and the superior treatment of victims that exists now.

 

Your statement above infuriates me in it´s ignorance.

 



Edited (9/28/2009) by _AE_

15.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 28 Sep 2009 Mon 09:42 pm

Birdy, are you sure you live in Poland? I remember that my childhood (in the ´80s) was spent playing outside, I remember kids from the neighbouring blocks of flats play altogether. Today I´d never let my little one go out on his own before he is 8 or 9. It´s not only because of the risk of him being abducted or abused by an adult, but because of how cruel the kids have become. There have been incidents of kids aged 12 sexually abusing youger ones, filming it and uploading it online in Poland. It really shocks me and scares me. As a matter of fact perhaps it´ll be better if I keep my son at home forever

16.       birdy
245 posts
 28 Sep 2009 Mon 09:56 pm

 

Quoting Daydreamer

Birdy, are you sure you live in Poland? I remember that my childhood (in the ´80s) was spent playing outside, I remember kids from the neighbouring blocks of flats play altogether. Today I´d never let my little one go out on his own before he is 8 or 9. It´s not only because of the risk of him being abducted or abused by an adult, but because of how cruel the kids have become. There have been incidents of kids aged 12 sexually abusing youger ones, filming it and uploading it online in Poland. It really shocks me and scares me. As a matter of fact perhaps it´ll be better if I keep my son at home forever

 you are right DD,bullying and mugging seems to be prevailing way of spending free time in most of Polish kids,especially in  big cities.Small towns  or villages,I guess ,do not have high rate of such anti-social behaviour.On the second thought I admit Poland does not differ much from other countries,parents are too busy to earn the living or not being prepared for being parents.

All the things you mention also scare and shock me ,not to mention my anger when I read about child abuse of any kind.Unfortunately ,there are too many such cases and not many willing to help or really interested in solving the problem.Sad

No wonder kids here as well escape into virtual reality or are under parental protective eye all the time.

 



Edited (9/28/2009) by birdy [adding]

17.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 28 Sep 2009 Mon 10:13 pm

I also think that for some parents it feels safer to have their kids at home. Too bad not many parents are aware of all the dangers awaiting their children online

18.       alameda
3499 posts
 29 Sep 2009 Tue 12:44 am

 

Quoting _AE_

 

 

You have frequently referred to "the good old days" in many social matters - including sexual and family ethics.  I have no idea of your age, but this is rather typical of people who spent their childhood during the hypocritically puritanical 1950s.  They seem to assume that these "values" that were fashionable in that decade had been around for centuries when, in fact, they were merely a social reaction to the promiscuity that existed during the two world wars and the very radical social and sexual revolution which took place in the 1920s.

 

The chocolate box image you seem to have of "community" and "family" are exclusive to the middle classes of that era only and in those "good old days" there were no safe places for those children to run if they were being abused or hurt - such matters were swept under the carpet for fear of precious family reputations being bruised.  It has been well documented that in many villages and communities there were often networks of paedofilies, often including local prominent figures like police officers, teachers, local politicians who would abuse children in that community with no fear of reprisals.   Some of these stories are only just coming to light thanks to the removal of taboos and the superior treatment of victims that exists now.

 

Your statement above infuriates me in it´s ignorance.

 

 

I think you misread my comment, or I didn´t make myself clear.  What I said is the total community ("It takes a village") needs to be involved in child care, child safety.  My "good old days" comment was in quotations, if you notice.

 

You are correct, child abuse, exploitation is not new.  It has been going on a long time.  In the past, it was a tabu subject.  Now that it is openly discussed and we are seeing more of it, parents and those responsible for the well being of children have become overly protective.  There must be a better way.



Edited (9/29/2009) by alameda [edit]

19.       _AE_
677 posts
 29 Sep 2009 Tue 06:20 pm

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

I think you misread my comment, or I didn´t make myself clear. 

 

OK apologies for misunderstanding. However, I needed a good rant yesterday so thank you for the therapy

 

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