I have friends who have had background checks done on men they are dating...I have to admit I find it a little disheartening to think that we have come to this.  Isn´t the foundation of a relationship formed on trust?  I guess not anymore....

Yes, in hindsight, this idea to marry (a complete stranger) was very foolish. In the beginning, he was a very loving and faithful man. But as time progressed and he found that he could manage his own life in ALABAMA, he made his own friends. He established his own credit. Now, he has worked in the same position for almost 5 years. He is a very hard worker, but not much of a father. Yes, my son´s grandparents and us meet almost everyday online to talk via Yahoo Messenger. We both have webcams and it has enabled us to create a relationship that would have otherwise never have been created. I tried originially to find a way to have this man deported, but the times our child would cry out and want to visit with his father, I couldn´t bring myself to go any further with the investigation. Now, our son is 5 years old and the visits with his father is very occassional. His father wonders why there is no relationship and why his son don´t want to talk on the phone when his dad calls. I have tried many times to explain to his father HOW this has come about... and still his father don´t seem to care. I think in time, the relationship between our son and my ex husband will totally disappear. I never talk bad about my son´s dad in front of his innocent ears, but my son "KNOWS" how his dad is. ALL IN DUE TIME!!! I am waiting.................one day at a time...

 Well, that´s a wonderful thing your son can get to know his grandparents.  I understand not bad mouthing his father to him, you sound like a good parent.  Kids are intuitive and without even explaining to your son...he will form his own opinion of his father without you having said a word.