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A MESSAGE FROM ENGLAND !
1.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 16 Feb 2010 Tue 02:41 am

From our friends in England - just as bad there!

Dear people of the United Kingdom

Hello and good morning to you all. What a wonderful day?

Anyway, due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).  Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependent & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.  

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle..

Sincerely and with a cheery smile,

R.Hon. Gordon Brown MP PM

Palace of Westminster

London


2.       alameda
3499 posts
 16 Feb 2010 Tue 03:01 am

Nice to see you, where have you been lately? {#emotions_dlg.laugh_at}

 

Quoting AlphaF

From our friends in England - just as bad there!

Dear people of the United Kingdom

Hello and good morning to you all. What a wonderful day?

Anyway, due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).  Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependent & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.  

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle..

Sincerely and with a cheery smile,

R.Hon. Gordon Brown MP PM

Palace of Westminster

London


 

 

3.       libralady
5152 posts
 16 Feb 2010 Tue 04:05 pm

 

Quoting AlphaF

From our friends in England - just as bad there!

Dear people of the United Kingdom

Hello and good morning to you all. What a wonderful day?

Anyway, due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).  Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependent & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.  

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle..

Sincerely and with a cheery smile,

R.Hon. Gordon Brown MP PM

Palace of Westminster

London


 

 I did start to believe this then I read "sincerely with a cheery smile" referring to gordon Brown.............. and now I know it is a lie {#emotions_dlg.lol_fast} 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4.       lemon
1374 posts
 16 Feb 2010 Tue 06:04 pm

 

Quoting libralady

 

 

 I did start to believe this then I read "sincerely with a cheery smile" referring to gordon Brown.............. and now I know it is a lie {#emotions_dlg.lol_fast} 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and you say you are a successfull businesswoman? {#emotions_dlg.doh}

 

5.       libralady
5152 posts
 18 Feb 2010 Thu 02:42 pm

 

Quoting lemon

 

 

and you say you are a successfull businesswoman? {#emotions_dlg.doh}

 

 

 And I thought you understood the British sense of humour!! {#emotions_dlg.shame}



Edited (2/18/2010) by libralady

6.       lemon
1374 posts
 18 Feb 2010 Thu 03:03 pm

 

Quoting libralady

 

 

 And I thought you understood the British sense of humour!! {#emotions_dlg.shame}

 

awwwwwwww, im trying hard {#emotions_dlg.think} to see anything humorous in your post.

 

 

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