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Marriage customs: engagement when bridegroom is not present
1.       jacobjake
76 posts
 23 Mar 2011 Wed 05:28 pm

Maybe this is a dumb question but I´m curious.  Is it possible for a bridegroom to have his family have an engagement for him to his fiancee while he is not there?  For example, while he is in army, and his brother or other male steps in to give ring? 

 

(dumb question, but I would like to know if this has ever happened?){#emotions_dlg.shy}

2.       jacobjake
76 posts
 23 Mar 2011 Wed 05:40 pm

I would appreciate all replies, opinions, etc. Wink

3.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 23 Mar 2011 Wed 06:01 pm

 

Quoting jacobjake

Maybe this is a dumb question but I´m curious.  Is it possible for a bridegroom to have his family have an engagement for him to his fiancee while he is not there?  For example, while he is in army, and his brother or other male steps in to give ring? 

 

(dumb question, but I would like to know if this has ever happened?){#emotions_dlg.shy}

 Not really a dumb question...I think it is possible but it would be a bit strange since an engagement party announces to the world that two people and/or families will be joining.  Its the couples first "official" outing as a couple.  It seems to me that if the groom where in the Army, they would just wait until he was done with his service and then have a party.  

 

Also, my husband and I exchanged wedding rings at our official engagement party rather than at our wedding ceremony.  For many Turkish couples (not all), an engagement ring is either not necessary or an actual wedding ring is exchanged.  Again, just like anything else, it would depend very much on local and family tradition.     

 



Edited (3/23/2011) by Elisabeth

4.       alameda
3499 posts
 23 Mar 2011 Wed 09:31 pm

Of course, it´s an unusual situation. Could it be there are legal issues? Seeing as he is in the Army, maybe they are fearful of his demise or serious injury. As an official fiance, perhaps that would give them rights they would not have otherwise?

I have even heard of couples who were married by proxie when one could not be "on location". This allowed the spouse legal rights.

Quoting Elisabeth

 Not really a dumb question...I think it is possible but it would be a bit strange since an engagement party announces to the world that two people and/or families will be joining.  Its the couples first "official" outing as a couple.  It seems to me that if the groom where in the Army, they would just wait until he was done with his service and then have a party.  

 

 

5.       jacobjake
76 posts
 23 Mar 2011 Wed 09:37 pm

thank you alameda and elisabeth, anyone else got any clue? i´d like to hear from everyone! thanks

6.       barba_mama
1629 posts
 28 Mar 2011 Mon 01:04 pm

Hm, I guess technically it must be possible, since an engagement isn´t very official. It´s just saying to your family and friends "hands off this one, he/she is mine!" But I guess the whole "hands off" thing is rather strange since the person in question won´t be there. I wouldn´t get engaged without the person being there. In any case, in the army you have free days. Why wouldn´t you plan an engagement during those free days?

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