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Nasreddin Hoca (Nasraddin Hodja)
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1.       si++
3785 posts
 13 Jan 2012 Fri 10:48 am

Nasraddin Hodja borrowed some money from a merchant. Weeks and months passed but the financial situation of Hodja remained so terrible he could not pay back his debt as he promised. The merchant, fed up with the delay, visited Hodja and urged him to pay back his debt immediately. Broke Hodja pondered what to do for a few moments, then went to his front door, walked outside, and planted a bush in front of the door. 

“Look, my friend,” he told the merchant. “I will pay my debt in cash!” The merchant, puzzled with Hodja’s “confidence” and angered with his failure to get his money back, asked him, “How, Hodja?” All smiles, Hodja replied, “Look, my friend. This bush will grow. Herds of sheep will pass by. Every passing sheep will leave some wool on the bush. I will sell the wool collected on the bush and pay back my debt in cash.” Surprised with Hodja’s words, the merchant started laughing. “You saw cash and started laughing,” Hodja replied.

2.       si++
3785 posts
 14 Jan 2012 Sat 03:48 pm

Whom do you trust

 

A neighbour came to the gate of Mulla Nasreddin´s yard. The Mulla went to meet him outside.
"Would you mind, Mulla," the neighbour asked, "lending me your donkey today? I have some goods to transport to the next town."
The Mulla didn´t feel inclined to lend out the animal to that particular man, however. So, not to seem rude, he answered:
"I´m sorry, but I´ve already lent him to somebody else."
All of a sudden the donkey could be heard braying loudly behind the wall of the yard.
"But Mulla," the neighbour exclaimed. "I can hear it behind that wall!"
"Who do you believe," the Mulla replied indignantly. "The donkey or your Mulla?"

3.       si++
3785 posts
 14 Jan 2012 Sat 03:51 pm

Delivering a sermon


Once Nasreddin was invited to deliver a sermon.

When he got on the pulpit, he asked, Do you know what I am going to say? The audience replied "no", so he announced, I have no desire to speak to people who don´t even know what I will be talking about! and left.

The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time, when he asked the same question, the people replied yes. So Nasreddin said, Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won´t waste any more of your time! and left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mulla to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question – Do you know what I am going to say? Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "yes" while the other half replied "no". So Nasreddin said Let the half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the half who don´t, and left.

4.       alameda
3499 posts
 17 Jan 2012 Tue 09:03 am

One day Nasreddin Hoca borrowed a pot from his neighbor. After about a week, he returned the pot with a smaller one. Perplexed, his neighbor asked why he was giving him another pot. Hoca told him the pot had a baby. 

About a month later the hoca asked to borrow a teapot, to which the neighbor anticipating two in return was overjoyed to bring the hoca a teapot. 

After a couple of months waiting he couldn´t take it anymore, so he went to the hoca´s home and asked about the teapot, to which the hoca told him it died. The neighbor was upset and said what do you mean, how can a teapot die. The hoca said you believed it could have a baby, now you don´t believe it could die.

si++ liked this message
5.       alameda
3499 posts
 17 Jan 2012 Tue 09:03 am

One day Nasreddin Hoca borrowed a pot from his neighbor. After about a week, he returned the pot with a smaller one. Perplexed, his neighbor asked why he was giving him another pot. Hoca told him the pot had a baby. 

About a month later the Hoca asked to borrow a teapot, to which the neighbor anticipating two in return was overjoyed to bring the Hoca a teapot. 

After a couple of months waiting he couldn´t take it anymore, so he went to the Hoca´s home and asked about the teapot, to which the Hoca told him it died. The neighbor was upset and said what do you mean, how can a teapot die. The hHca asked if you believed it could have a baby, why now you don´t believe it could die?



Edited (1/17/2012) by alameda

6.       si++
3785 posts
 17 Jan 2012 Tue 02:31 pm

Tip

 

One day Hodja goes to the Turkish bath. The keepers, of the bath don’t care for him at all. They give him an old and torn bath towel. Hodja doesn’t say anything. When he is leaving the bath, he gives them a generous tip.
When he comes to the same bath a week later, he is served very well this time, but he gives them a very little tip.
The keepers of the bath say:
-
“Effendi, are you giving such a little tip for our great care and respect?
Hodja says:
-
“The tip I’m giving today is for last week’s service. The tip I gave last week was for today’s service.

7.       MarioninTurkey
6124 posts
 18 Jan 2012 Wed 04:06 pm

Hodja goes to a feast, and the hosts are not impressed by his old clothes, so they seat him at a far away table where the food is very basic.

 

He gets up, goes home and changes his clothes, and comes back wearing satin robes and furs. This time, the hosts seat him at the top table, with sumptuous dishes. The first thing the waiters bring him is a bowl of absolutely delicious soup, the best that the finest chef in the country can make. The other guests are surprised when Hodja dips the end of his fur in the soup.

"Eat, eat, my fur!" he says. "For they have brought this dish not for me, but for you."

 

 

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8.       si++
3785 posts
 22 Jan 2012 Sun 04:10 pm

Cat And The Liver


After the Hodja got the recipe for liver from his friend, he bought again some liver and because he liked it very much, he wanted to eat it often.
But everytime when he brought livers he couldn´t eat it, because his wife said that the cat took the liver and fled away.
One day the Hodja became angry and said:
"Woman, I brought liver! Where is it?"
"Oh", said his wife. "The silly cat took it and fled away."
At the same time the cat was in the room. The Hodja caught it, brought a steelyard and weighted the cat. Then he said:
"That is exactly two kilos. And the liver which I brought was also two kilos. Now tell me: If that is the liver where is my cat, if that is the cat, then I want my liver."

9.       si++
3785 posts
 29 Jan 2012 Sun 03:05 pm

Tamerlane´s price

 

During a deep conversation with Tamerlane, Tamerlane demanded:
- Hodja you are, a learned and wise man. If I were a serf for sale, how much would you bid?
Of course, Hodja knows no cowardice nor shyness. First he pretended to ponder:
- If you ask me Hodja said, I would bid a hundred akche! (coin)
Tamerlane was furious with this answer:
- Only a hundred akche? Tamerlane said, you must be insane! Hodja, only my fur coat has value at least a hundred akche!
- You are right His Highness! said Hodja with customary slyness. In fact, it was the fur coat for which I made my bid.

10.       si++
3785 posts
 29 Jan 2012 Sun 03:12 pm

Good Swimmer?


In the old days, men were permitted to have more than one wife. Hodja himself took a second wife who was younger than the first one. One evening he came home to find them quarreling about which of them Hodja loved more.

At first, Hodja told them he loved them both, but neither of them were satisfied with his answer. Then the older one asked, "Well, just suppose the three of us were in a boat, and it started to sink. Which of us would you try to save?"

Hodja thought for a moment, and then said to his older wife, "My dear, you know how to swim, don´t you?"

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