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Altıncı Mektup Sixth Letter

Bir g├╝n bir yalnızlığa d├╝şt├╝m yine. Başımı
ellerimin arasına aldım, sessizce ağlamaya başladım .
├ľn├╝mde yarıya gelmiş bir konyak şişesi 'beni i├ž'
diye fısıldıyordu, 'beni i├ž'. Sonra yalvarmaya başladı:
'Ne olur' dedi 'ne olur haydi i├ž beni'.

Bir bardak doldurdum, tepeme diktim .
Şişe rahatladı, sustu. Hani ellerimiz birbirine
değince nasıl oluyorduk? İşte ├Âyle oldum .
Hani bakışlarımız buluştuğu zaman, bir başka
t├╝rl├╝ atması vardı y├╝reklerimizin. Onu hatırladım .

Sonra bir tren hareket etti. Sabahtı. Karşıkarşıyaydık .
Konuşuyorduk. Ben sevmek diyordum durmadan.
G├Âzlerim g├Âzlerine soruyordu: 'seviyor musun?' diye.
Hep evet diyordu g├Âzlerin, ellerin, dudakların hep
evet diyordu. Oysa ki, bir ├žok hayır diyen insan vardı
├ževremizde. ├ľrneğin: bir ├žocuk hayır, diyordu, bir kadın,
bir adam ve bir başkası, bir başkası hayır diyordu.
Hayır'lar arasında ezilmeğe mahk├╗mdu evet'lerimiz .

Tren ilerliyordu. G├Âzlerin g├Âzlerime soruyordu
ne olacak diye. Sigara ├╝st├╝ne sigara yakıyordum,
kadeh kadeh i├žki i├žiyordum, fakat bilmiyordum
ben de ne olacağını. Bizi s├╝r├╝kleyen bir akıntıydı.
Durduramazdık onu, h├╝kmedemezdik ona.
Bir anafora rastlayıp yok oluncaya kadar akıp
gidecektik işte. Peki anafor nerdeydi? Uzak mıydı?
Belki ├žok yakındı kimbilir. Biz onu
g├Âremiyecektik. O, g├Âzlerimizi k├Âr ettikten sonra
saracaktı bizi buz gibi kollarıyla.

Tren ilerliyordu. Pencereden deniz g├Âr├╝n├╝yordu.
Denize akşam g├╝neşi vurmuştu. Renk renk
kayıklar g├Ârd├╝k kıyılarda. Denize taş atan ├žocuklar
g├Ârd├╝k. Uzakta bir balık├žı ağlarını topluyordu.

Ve tren ilerliyordu. Kadere yaklaşıyorduk .
Bir alacakaranlık bastı zamanı. G├Âzlerim g├Âzlerindeydi.
Ellerini tuttum, titredin. Acı acı bir d├╝d├╝k ├Âtt├╝.
Bir şeyler koptu i├žimizden.

Sonra tren durdu, indik, yollarımız ayrı ayrıydı.
Şimdi, o g├╝n verdiğin yalnızlığı yaşıyorum .



One day, again i dropped in loneliness. I
took my head between my hands, i started to cry silently.
In front of me, a half cognac bottle , as 'drink me',
was whispering, 'drink me'. Then it started to beg:
'Please' it said, 'Please drink me now'.

I filled a glass, and i tossed it down it one swing
The bottle got relaxed, kept silence. You know how we feel
when our hands touch eachother? I felt like that.
You know how our hearts beat differently, when
our looks meet eachother. I remembered that.

And then a train moved. It was morning. We were face to face.
We were talking. I was saying 'to love' without taking a breath.
My eyes were asking yours: as 'do you love me?'
They were always saying 'yes', your hands, your lips always
saying 'yes'. However, there were lots of people who say 'no'
around us. For instance: a child was saying, no, a woman,
a man, and another one, another more was saying no.
Our 'yes's were senteced to be beaten between 'no's.

The train was moving ahead. Your eyes were asking mines.
What will happen? I was smoking over and over,
drinking glass over glass, however i didnt know
what will happen neither. It was a flow that carry us.
We couldnt stop it, we couldnt rule it.
Till we get lost with meeting an eddy,
we were going to flow. So where was the eddy? Was if far?
Maybe it was so close who knows. We wouldnt see it, After,
it made our eyes blind, it would embrace us with its cold arms.

The train was moving ahead. The sea was seen over window.
The evening sun has hit the sea. colorful
caiques we saw on shores. Children throw stone to the sea,
we saw. At far a fisherman was gathering his fishnet.

And the train was moving ahead. We were reaching to destiny.
A twilight covered the time. My eyes were in yours.
I hold your hands, you shook. Bitterly a whistle blew.
Somethings has broken inside of us.

Then the train stopped, we got off, our ways were differently.
Now, i am living the loneliness you gave me that day.


├ťmit Yaşar Oğuzcan
More poems of ├ťmit Yaşar Oğuzcan

Translated by SuiGeneris

This poem has been read 7400 times.

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