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Yaşamaya Dair On Living

I

Yaşamak şakaya gelmez,
b├╝y├╝k bir ciddiyetle yaşayacaksın
bir sincap gibi mesela,
yani, yaşamanın dışında ve ├Âtesinde hi├žbir şey beklemeden,
yani b├╝t├╝n işin g├╝c├╝n yaşamak olacak.

Yaşamayı ciddiye alacaksın,
yani o derecede, ├Âylesine ki,
mesela, kolların bağlı arkadan, sırtın duvarda,
yahut kocaman g├Âzl├╝klerin,
beyaz g├Âmleğinle bir laboratuvarda
insanlar i├žin ├Âlebileceksin,
hem de y├╝z├╝n├╝ bile g├Ârmediğin insanlar i├žin,
hem de hi├ž kimse seni buna zorlamamışken,
hem de en g├╝zel en ger├žek şeyin
yaşamak olduğunu bildiğin halde.

Yani, ├Âylesine ciddiye alacaksın ki yaşamayı,
yetmişinde bile, mesela, zeytin dikeceksin,
hem de ├Âyle ├žocuklara falan kalır diye değil,
├Âlmekten korktuğun halde ├Âl├╝me inanmadığın i├žin,
yaşamak yani ağır bastığından.

II

Diyelim ki, ağır ameliyatlık hastayız,
yani, beyaz masadan
bir daha kalkmamak ihtimali de var.
Duymamak m├╝mk├╝n değilse de biraz erken gitmenin kederini
biz yine de g├╝leceğiz anlatılan Bektaşi fıkrasına,
hava yağmurlu mu, diye bakacağız pencereden,
yahut da sabırsızlıkla bekleyeceğiz
en son ajans haberlerini.

Diyelim ki, d├Âv├╝ş├╝lmeye değer bir şeyler i├žin,
diyelim ki, cephedeyiz.
Daha orda ilk h├╝cumda, daha o g├╝n
y├╝z├╝koyun kapaklanıp ├Âlmek de m├╝mk├╝n.
Tuhaf bir hın├žla bileceğiz bunu,
fakat yine de ├žıldırasıya merak edeceğiz
belki yıllarca s├╝recek olan savaşın sonunu.

Diyelim ki hapisteyiz,
yaşımız da elliye yakın,
daha da on sekiz sene olsun a├žılmasına demir kapının.
Yine de dışarıyla birlikte yaşayacağız,
insanları, hayvanları, kavgası ve r├╝zgarıyla
yani, duvarın ardındaki dışarıyla.

Yani, nasıl ve nerede olursak olalım
hi├ž ├Âl├╝nmeyecekmiş gibi yaşanacak...

III

Bu d├╝nya soğuyacak,
yıldızların arasında bir yıldız,
hem de en ufacıklarından,
mavi kadifede bir yaldız zerresi yani,
yani bu koskocaman d├╝nyamız.

Bu d├╝nya soğuyacak g├╝n├╝n birinde,
hatta bir buz yığını
yahut ├Âl├╝ bir bulut gibi de değil,
boş bir ceviz gibi yuvarlanacak
zifiri karanlıkta u├žsuz bucaksız.

Şimdiden ├žekilecek acısı bunun,
duyulacak mahzunluğu şimdiden.
B├Âylesine sevilecek bu d├╝nya
"Yaşadım" diyebilmen i├žin...

I

Living is no joke,
you must live with great seriousness
like a squirrel for example,
I mean expecting nothing except and beyond living,
I mean living must be your whole occupation.

You must take living seriously,
I mean to such an extent that,
for example your arms are tied from your back, your back is on the wall,
or in a laboratory with your white shirt, with your huge eye glasses,
you must be able to die for people,
even for people you have never seen,
although nobody forced you to do this,
although you know that
living is the most real, most beautiful thing.

I mean you must take living so seriously that,
even when you are seventy, you must plant olive trees,
not because you think they will be left to your children,
because you don't believe in death although you are afraid of it
because, I mean, life weighs heavier.

II

Suppose we're very sick, in need of surgery,
I mean, there is the possibility that
we will never get up from the white table.
although it is impossible not to feel the grief of passing away somewhat too soon
we will still laugh at the funny joke being told,
we will look out of the window to see if it's raining,
or we will wait impatiently
for the latest news from agencies.

Suppose, for something worth fighting for,
suppose we are on the battlefield.
Over there, in the first attack, on the first day
we may fall on the ground on our face.
We will know this with a somewhat strange grudge,
but we will still wonder like crazy
the result of the war that will possibly last for years.

Suppose we are in the jail,
age is close to fifty,
supose there are still eighteen years until the iron door will open.
Still, we will live with the outer world,
with the people, animals, fights and winds
I mean, with the outer world beyond the walls.

I mean, however and wherever we are
we must live as if there is no death...

III

This earth will cool down,
a star among all the stars,
one of the tiniest,
I mean a grain of glitter in the blue velvet,
I mean this huge world of ours.

This earth will cool down one day,
not even like a pile of ice
or like a dead cloud,
it will roll like an empty walnut
in the pure endless darkness.

You must feel the pain of this now,
You must feel the grief right now.
You must love this world so much
to be able to say "I lived"...
lisa s, ├╝mitli, Abla and admin liked this poem

Nazım Hikmet
More poems of Nazım Hikmet

Translated by Fatih Akg├╝l

This poem has been read 31945 times.

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