In general shoes are taken off when entering a Turk’s home. In the larger cities and among the better to-do families, this is not always necessary however. It is usually the custom of small settlements and conservative families. In general Turks wear slippers at home. Housewives tend to compete with each other on cleanliness and will certainly not let you in with your shoes on. At any rate, in a country whose streets are disorderly and dirty, it makes good sense to leave your shoes at the door and slide into a pair of comfortable slippers. Almost all Turkish homes will have a pair of “guest slippersâ€, reserved just for visitors. And if the idea of wearing someone else’s shoes does not appeal to you, you can always tote along a pair of your own, which will not be considered out of the ordinary.
Kissing the hands of older family members is an obligatory ceremony of Bayram. Some families get together at the house of the oldest family member and have a “Bayram meal†all together. The elders give candy or money to those youngsters kissing their hands. In the past, gold coins and money were given however unfortunately this habit has been essentially lost, due to financial reasons.
Among Turks, kissing the hand of an elder and touching it to your forehead is a sign of respect shown to elders. Those in esteemed or reputable positions in society, and the elderly, enjoy having their hands kissed. For example, primary school teachers wait for their students to kiss their hands after graduation. This also is an indispensable custom practiced during Bayrams. The older members of the family give candies and some pocket money to the children who kissed their hands. If you are married to a Turk and visiting his family members you are expected to follow your husband in kissing hands. In some families the younger members do not smoke or cross their legs when together with the older members of the family. It will be easier for you if you discuss with your spouse what sort of customs and behavior you are expected to follow. (Worth thinking about: As you attempt to please others, be careful not to lose your own identity and uniqueness). Kissing hands of ladies in a French manner is not a common habit.
Turks are very generous and can be rather insistent when offering food in particular. It is best to just accept what is offered to you, with a smile, even though you may be full. If you don’t accept, you will undoubtedly hear comments like “Didn’t you like it?†or “Was it bad?â€, and you even risk offending your host. If it is your second, third, or fourth helping, at some point you are bound to be genuinely full and you are not obliged to “clean your plateâ€.
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