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Marriage between two faiths
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| 40. |
03 Jul 2007 Tue 02:37 pm |
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Strictly speaking, no muslim lady can wed thru procedures other than those specified in Quran. On the other hand no non-moslem gentlemen can qualify to be a active party to an islamic wedding. Hence marriage of a muslim lady to a non-muslim gentlemen is not possible under normal conditions.
The only pragmatic solution to the problem our friends are facing, lies in creating emergency conditions.
What you need for this scenario is a cruise ship, with Nesrin as the only muslim on board (no other male muslims, neither as seamen nor as passengers).
Should the need for an emergency wedding arise, as soon as the ship hits high seas - the ship`s Captain must be the only available person capable and authorised to conduct and register the wedding. Captain`s own religious beliefs (or the methods he employs) can hardly be questioned or critisized under the prevailing emergency conditions, and in the absence of any muslim gentleman (alternative) to conduct the wedding.
Believe it, or not ! 
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| 41. |
03 Jul 2007 Tue 10:15 pm |
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Quoting femme_fatal: Quoting aslı: Most of Turkish men in Turkey are muslim. But just with saying so and getting circumcised in childhood. Otherwise, they live same as any other faith( may be less) But for families, still important to know their son in law is muslim. You are having a circumcision and live as you live now. Neither church nor mosque If your parents be upset about it, reconsider that, but I am pretty sure Nsrin's family will ask you about become muslim. Christian woman, muslim man is ok. but opposite is not. If this is just about ease the parents no harm eh? |
whom loveprague is marrying: nesrin or her parents/family?
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The idea of marriage centered on only a couple in "love" is not really the best foundation on which to build a marriage. Traditional marriages have been ones where one expects to become in love after marriage, not before.
Romantic love is very often an illusion. The hum drum reality of a marriage can easily burst the romantic bubble.
The idea of marriage for romantic love is not exactly encouraged. Compatibility, similar life goals and familial harmony are of paramount importance.
In reality the families in effect are united by the marriage. Thus, if there is already an issue with both families, the prospect for a successful marriage is grim.
In Western cultures, marriages are not particularly successful. Add to that mixture the children of failed marriages and the whole thing looks even bleaker.
In my opinion, and from my life's view of many marriages, I'd say get the blessings of your family. Even in the best of circumstances being in a committed relationship is difficult. One can not underestimate the importance of their family. After all, you are the products of those families.
Although now you may think religion is unimportant, as things progress, it will become clearer just how "Christian" or "Muslim" the participants are. In reality do either of you know just what being a Muslim or Christian mean? In other words, have either of you really explored to what you are a member of? What are the creeds of both Christianity and Islam? Do either of you know?
Perhaps an exploration of what your real spiritual beliefs and heart felt feelings are would be in order. Two people on different paths do not make for a good life journey.
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| 42. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 01:07 am |
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alameda,
im not the one whose marrying, but thanks anyway for some morales.
yeah, the west is bad, is so bad that many people from the east line up in km to the west countries embassies to get visas. the west is bad, indeed! dont follow the western style!
btw, loveprague, where are you both going to live after your wedding in uk or turkey?
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| 43. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 01:35 am |
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Quoting alameda: The idea of marriage centered on only a couple in "love" is not really the best foundation on which to build a marriage. |
So, please tell me the purpose of "LOVE"? Aha, for adultury once you have married your family's acceptable spouse?
Quoting alameda: In reality the families in effect are united by the marriage. Thus, if there is already an issue with both families, the prospect for a successful marriage is grim. . |
Hell the thought of a bunch of in-laws affecting my life to this degree is enough to make me elope!
Quoting alameda: In Western cultures, marriages are not particularly successful. Add to that mixture the children of failed marriages and the whole thing looks even bleaker. . |
What a sanctimonious little comment THIS is! There are many very successful marriages in Western culture, but when people are unhappy, abused or suffering other ill-treatment in their marriage ,they can end it. Do you think putting up with marital rape, abuse or subordination is more acceptable that living your life happily and without fear? How exactly do you define "successful"? By the length of the marriage, or the happiness of the couple?
PS - Wishing you happiness and luck Rich 
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| 44. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 02:36 am |
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Quoting femme_fatal: alameda,
im not the one whose marrying, but thanks anyway for some morales.
yeah, the west is bad, is so bad that many people from the east line up in km to the west countries embassies to get visas. the west is bad, indeed! dont follow the western style!
btw, loveprague, where are you both going to live after your wedding in uk or turkey? |
I did not address my comment to you, but your comment was quoted in my post.
If you note, I did not say the West is bad. What I did comment on is the fact that in Western countries the rate of success in marriage is very dim indeed. I believe its something like around 50% success rate. This would indicate something has gone askance and could be reevaluated.
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| 45. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 04:02 am |
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Quote: What I did comment on is the fact that in Western countries the rate of success in marriage is very dim indeed. I believe its something like around 50% success rate. This would indicate something has gone askance and could be reevaluated. |
 one of these marriages is going on 30 years, and she secretly hates her husband, I'm sorry but if you think its "moral" just because they stay married? I think the more appropriate words are f@%!ed up!
It's refreshing to know there are places were when you find out your husband or wife is not the best thing for you that you have the freedom to change your mind. I'm sure your statistics are correct when saying 50% of the western marriages fail, but its better then having 50% of people unhappy with their partner and being stuck with them forever
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| 46. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 04:33 am |
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Quote:
So, please tell me the purpose of "LOVE"? Aha, for adultury once you have married your family's acceptable spouse?
Quoting alameda: In reality the families in effect are united by the marriage. Thus, if there is already an issue with both families, the prospect for a successful marriage is grim. . |
Hell the thought of a bunch of in-laws affecting my life to this degree is enough to make me elope!
Quoting alameda: In Western cultures, marriages are not particularly successful. Add to that mixture the children of failed marriages and the whole thing looks even bleaker. . |
What a sanctimonious little comment THIS is! There are many very successful marriages in Western culture, but when people are unhappy, abused or suffering other ill-treatment in their marriage ,they can end it. Do you think putting up with marital rape, abuse or subordination is more acceptable that living your life happily and without fear? How exactly do you define "successful"? By the length of the marriage, or the happiness of the couple?
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My, I have no idea where spousal abuse and rape come into your idea of parental approval. Perhaps your experience with parents is unique?
Of course nobody should have to put up with marriage abusive. One would hope the persons who nurtured them during their most vulnerable parts of their life would be the same persons who look out for the best interests of their offspring.
One would hope that care would be forthcoming in the parents more vulnerable times when it is hard to care for themselves.
I have seen many elders in the US who alone and quite forgotten in nursing homes, even though they had children.
Yes, there are some successful marriages in Western countries, but there are also many failed ones with single parent homes and the parents hard pressed to care for their children. If there were an intact healthy family working together, would it not be easier?
As for parental approval, it is often asked for in Western marriages as well. Asking a girls father for her hand in marriage? You have heard of that, haven't you.
Certainly nobody should be forced to marry someone they do not wish to wed.
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| 47. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 09:03 am |
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Quoting alameda:
My, I have no idea where spousal abuse and rape come into your idea of parental approval. Perhaps your experience with parents is unique?
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Wow! We were not talking of parental approval on this point, we were talking about your concept of "successful" marriages based on, what seems to be, your praise of the family arranged marriage and moral attitude to divorce! The culture you described is the very culture which breeds mercy-killings!!
A loving family is one who selflessly love their 'child' and support them through happiness AND difficulties and nuture their child to grow into an independent adult capable of making their own decisions for their future.
My parents have been happily married for 41 years, thank you. Its lucky though that I DONT have personal experience of the things you mention, because reading your insensitive post would have been very upsetting if I HAD!!!!
Don't judge all the "West" by your US standards dear 
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| 48. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 09:54 am |
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social pressures the biggest barrier about the meeting cultures,and this pressures pity more then others on some countries,and pity thats one of less of our country.i don't say that for judge our people,sure there r many reasons which creating some strong traditions.And i think many of us have some big social phobias,and faith is one of em.But when we think about that a bit more secualar and tolerated,things really become easier.Sure not easy to change customs,beleifs or traditions in a short time,but i think things will be better in time with the more communication between different belifs and cultures.the best fix for communication,more understandting and a bit more objective thinking...
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| 49. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 01:50 pm |
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I think we make the topic complex sufficiently ,
Good luck loveprague, go onnnnnnn 
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| 50. |
04 Jul 2007 Wed 02:40 pm |
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Quoting elham: I think we make the topic complex sufficiently ,
Good luck loveprague, go onnnnnnn |
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