Yes, I totally agree! So in Turkish society, do women stay home their entire lives, regardless of how old the child is???? Or just the first few years until the child enters school? I'm very curious about this. I'm talking about educated women who had careers prior to marriage. What is the norm in Turkey for a woman who is middle-class and educated? Anyone???

Why are we only talking about mom's staying home? Sometimes it makes sense for the dad to stay home if the mother outearns him. Just because we are the ones who have the baby doesn't mean we have to be the primary caretaker. Men can be nuturing and good parents too. They have gotten stereotyped as inept in the home, but this is not always the case. My fiance told me a story that when he was little (198 he was having problems because of the war and was scared to go to school so his father made his mother stop working and stay home with him more. This was a long time ago, but that is the only Turkish mother story I know. Cem's father is a distance trucker and would be gone for weeks at a time, so she was essentially a single parent dealing with two 'spirited' boys!

I do know a couple in the U.S. where the man quit his job because his wife made so much more money than he did. She was making well over $100K plus bonuses. He stayed home with the kids. He was not a lazy guy or unmotivated, they just did what made sense. They didn't want their kids growing up in daycare. He had a good career too, but made much less than her, so he gave it up to raise the kids. However, I cannot imagine this being the case in Turkey, because it's rare in the U.S. too. Their friends weren't all supportive, so there are stereotypes in the west as well.

I was asking about women staying home because of the original thread...a wife who is a trained doctor and is now home raising one child. It made me curious about the role of women. So the question asked was... do women stay home their entire lives after having a child or do they go back to work when the child enters school? As far as men staying home, I don't have negative thoughts on this at all, but I really doubt it happens much in Turkey.

I wonder if most of the women in the US know how to make their own lace...how many wash clothes by hand? or make homemade bread? how many have a dish washer? how many have farms that need tending? I watched in amazement as my mother in law (all of her five children are grown)got up at dawn, made fresh bread, went and picked vegetables for the day from the farm, cooked, made breakfast, lunch and dinner for 8 people, washed clothes by hand, picked up a large carpet, dragged it outside and beat it to make sure it was cleaned...after she vacuumed it. I followed her for a full week and in the afternoons we rested before dinner with tea and talked with some neighbors. Even when my mother in law was relaxing, her hands were busy making the finest lace I have ever seen. Once in a while she would look up at my "lace" to see if I was making progress. My point is, the role of a "housewife" is much different than that of a "housewife" here. Women work very hard in Turkey and take pride in a clean home, good food and happy children (whether grown or not). I don't think they are ever bored, whether the children are home or not.

I completely respect the roles these women have if they are doing all of that work. TOTALLY respect it! It's amazing really. That woman has my vote for Mother of the Year, definitely!!!!!!!!! I did not mean to offend you or to imply that Turkish women all sit on their butts and provide nothing substantial to the family. I know that is not the case. I think you misunderstood my question. I wasn't talking about a woman who is raising multiple children and works on a farm or does manual labor and is busy with much needed family tasks all day long. The situation you described is certainly one to be valued and admired. I was talking about a city-dwelling, financially well-off, educated doctor who does not have those responsiblities in any way, shape, or form. Your point is respected and well taken. I am just wondering what a woman not in the position to have all that work does all day long. Certainly if a woman has needed duties at home, that is very admirable. The woman I am speaking of is not even remotely related to the situation you describe, so out of curiousity, I wondered if it is normal for someone NOT in a situation like you described would stay home while a child is in school. I apologize if my post seemed in any way judgmental toward anyone. I did not mean it that way at all. I'm simply trying to get a reply to the questino that I raised as it was written. I also want to thank you for sharing your view because I think it is important and educates us all on Turkish life.

By the way, I should add that anyone who is financially well-off and living in a city does have the modern conveniences of life. They have dishwashers, washers, dryers, all of those. If they didn't, yes, of course there would be a lot to do in the home. I am speaking about a modern family situation in a city. As far as lace...that's a lovely thing to make. I'm sure it is beautiful!!! Most American women knit or sew or have some hobby similar to this. I work with a woman who makes quilts from hand...she does this after she gets off of work. But she is older and her children are grown.

God bless that lady for doing all that manual labor. Wow!!! Sounds like the life my mother led back in the 50's. She has some amazing stories. Strong women!!!!

I think many times, due to daycare costs, it is more economical for many families if one person stays home. Who knows how they keep busy...depends on the hobbies, culture, etc. I would personally get very bored, but for some maybe this would be enjoyable. All in who you are!

I know daycare is about 250 per week here for a good one. It is staggering to think of daycare costing 1000 per month. That is more than my mortgage!!