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Women cannot marry men they want
(262 Messages in 27 pages - View all)
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230.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 09 Oct 2010 Sat 05:59 pm

We are talking about pearls here, not meatballs..

120 pearls go on a modest necklace...{#emotions_dlg.alcoholics}

What do you know about pearls or wisdom, anyway?



Edited (10/9/2010) by AlphaF

231.       stumpy
638 posts
 09 Oct 2010 Sat 06:29 pm

Quote:AlphaF

What do you know about pearls or wisdom, anyway?
Carefull AlphaF, your pearls of wisdom are not necessairly the pearls of wisdom of others, they may be thorns and if your pearls of wisdom say that a womans place is in the home then your pearls are a little antiquated

232.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 09 Oct 2010 Sat 07:44 pm

 

Quoting stumpy

Carefull AlphaF, your pearls of wisdom are not necessairly the pearls of wisdom of others, they may be thorns and if your pearls of wisdom say that a womans place is in the home then your pearls are a little antiquated

 

Read my post again; if you are smart enough, you should notice I never said what you think I said.

233.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 09 Oct 2010 Sat 08:10 pm

It´s not an American secondary school where student debate to win. We´re discussing things that are based on our values and beliefs. These cannot be challenged logically. If somebody believes that Qran´s stand on women is right, they believe it is right because it comes from god. If another person does not believe in god, the divine argument will never convince him/her.

For some people traditions and family are more important than freedom and happiness of individual (or, I should rather say, a person can be happy only within their cultural frames and family). Some disagree. There´s no objective method of proving either prson wrong/right. Just like you cannot convince somebody who believes that Salt and Vinegar flavour makes best crisps, taht it is actually revolting

All we can do here is exchange ideas, ask questions, express our disgust or compassion. In Sparta they used to throw disabled babies off a cliff. It might seem brutal to us, they had a sensible justification, one that was enough for them.

I was brought up in a world where I am free to make my own choices, whether they´re good or bad. I will never believe that somebody who is not dree to decide about their fate can be really happy. They can obey, learn to live this way, but where´s the personal development?

234.       stumpy
638 posts
 09 Oct 2010 Sat 08:28 pm

Quote:AlphaF

Read my post again; if you are smart enough, you should notice I never said what you think I said.

Forgive me AlphaF, I am a but a woman, I am not inteligent enought tohave my own ideas and opinions, I must rely on a man "wisdom" and guidance to formulate an opinion or though!

NOT...

235.       barkindo
22 posts
 09 Oct 2010 Sat 11:16 pm

The good book says the best (divinely intended) place for any lady is in her home, by her children (cooking and providing offsprings are both on).

If however, they are happier with and more successful with what they find outside, they are welcome to it as well.

Why the bitterness?

I doubt that the Turks? Kurds?  that force their daughters into marriage read the ´good book´.  They read the Qur´an and there is nothing about staying home and making meatballs in it.... However, as far as marriage is concerned " a virgin´s silence is her consent"  It means that unless she objects loudly, it is assumed she consents.  

i agree with you, though, that staying home with the children should be the preferred model for marriage.  I wished i had the luxury to do that. I loved every day i was with my children.  I am forced to work now, and i know how much i wished i could do for my children.  I come home shattered and i feel completely exploited by the system.  

Why is being a housewife considered so lowly in the West?  

And why is love marriage such a big deal?  Most marriages here are ´love´ matches, and people start hating each other soon after.  Why is it preferable to meet one´s future spouse in the pub, than at home with the parents?  Why do young people think they know so much better?  

No doubt, forced marriages mean unhappy lives.  Or do they?  I once met a couple with a 86 year  (!!!) age difference--- he was 106 and she was 15.  He told me he would wait with sex with until she finishes high school.  But the girl seemed happy enough.  She did not look too bothered about it.  

 

236.       barba_mama
1629 posts
 09 Oct 2010 Sat 11:25 pm

If they read the Quran they wouldn´t mind a woman who didn´t spend her whole day in the kitchen. The prophet´s first wife, Khadijah, was a businesswoman. She was actually his employer before, and after they got married.

barkindo liked this message
237.       bydand
755 posts
 10 Oct 2010 Sun 12:44 am

 

Quoting barkindo

 

 

 

No doubt, forced marriages mean unhappy lives.  Or do they?  I once met a couple with a 86 year  (!!!) age difference--- he was 106 and she was 15.  He told me he would wait with sex with until she finishes high school.  But the girl seemed happy enough.  She did not look too bothered about it.  

 

 

I would be interested in what this guy was on barkindo.  {#emotions_dlg.unsure}



Edited (10/10/2010) by bydand

238.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 10 Oct 2010 Sun 01:42 am

 

Quoting barba_mama

If they read the Quran they wouldn´t mind a woman who didn´t spend her whole day in the kitchen. The prophet´s first wife, Khadijah, was a businesswoman. She was actually his employer before, and after they got married.

Exactly, It was also Hatice´s second marriage. Obviously, Prophet´s choice depended on the Lady´s personal merits only.

Quran only explais what was intended for the ladies, no enforcement entails.

 

 

 

239.       lemon
1374 posts
 10 Oct 2010 Sun 04:45 am

 

Quoting AlphaF

 

Exactly, It was also Hatice´s second marriage. Obviously, Prophet´s choice depended on the Lady´s personal merits only.

Quran only explais what was intended for the ladies, no enforcement entails.

 

Aksakal, you are indeed a tale-teller. {#emotions_dlg.whistle} What else do you tell to your wife when she finally rests from the duties in the kitchen? I love your personal merits, darling?

Or are you too busy making up tales to sell to ignorants like BM?

 

240.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 10 Oct 2010 Sun 11:44 am

 

 

Quoting barkindo

 

Why is being a housewife considered so lowly in the West?  

 

It isn´t.  Neither is being a househusband.

 

Quoting barkindo

 

And why is love marriage such a big deal?  Most marriages here are ´love´ matches, and people start hating each other soon after.  Why is it preferable to meet one´s future spouse in the pub, than at home with the parents?  Why do young people think they know so much better?  

 

It is not a big deal if you are happy to have sex with someone you are not physically attracted to and be sold like meat to the most suitable or wealthy bidder that your family accept.

 

Quoting barkindo

 

No doubt, forced marriages mean unhappy lives.  Or do they?  I once met a couple with a 86 year  (!!!) age difference--- he was 106 and she was 15.  He told me he would wait with sex with until she finishes high school.  But the girl seemed happy enough.  She did not look too bothered about it.  


 


Happy enough or too scared to argue?  Read that paragraph again and tell me that does not sicken you.  Do you think it is natural for a 15 year old girl to be with a man of 106?  Is this a joke post?????!    

I don´t think anyone here condemns "arranged marriages" where both parties see it as a solution, but forced marriages?  There is no argument or evidence that can ever make this acceptable. 

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