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Women cannot marry men they want
(262 Messages in 27 pages - View all)
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170.       lemon
1374 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 01:23 pm

Stumpy,

Dont you see the laws and regulations have no power? If it did half of the eastern Turkey would be in jail, right?

171.       stumpy
638 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 01:24 pm

maybe lemon but it is a start, it has to start somewhere.

172.       scalpel
1472 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 01:25 pm

 

Quoting lemon

 

 

The question is good but useless. The change will always take its victims. Nobody can help these girls/women. Neither gov nor laws. Remember this is happening in a (often proudly stated) secular country.

Lets ask Turkish users (Oeince, Vineyards, S--, The H, Armegon, Scalpel, Alpha aksakal). So far, none of them came up with any solution (point by point, black on white). This is their country, they live there with those girls side by side. The country is theirs, its all up to them. They know and understand the whole issue.

We, outsiders can endlessly talk and dispute, but thats all we can do. The only contribution of ours is our opinions. We tell these men what we think. They surely take our inputs into their dear consideration.

Thank you.

 

I like wise posts trying to raise the discussion at higher level. Thank you, lemon But, unfortunately, it is useless since every discussion here is merely used as an opportunity (by some people of a certain group) to turn it into a personal attack on those who don´t agree with them. And those who should be the last people to complain about this, are always the first to cry out "I am attacked, I am attacked!" {#emotions_dlg.bigsmile}

 

 

173.       lemon
1374 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 01:33 pm

 

Quoting bydand

 

 

And you made sure this poster was going to be involved in a bazillion and one arguments. {#emotions_dlg.bigsmile}  Of course forced marriages should not be allowed, especially with very young girls involved but it is not only a Turkish problem. It happens in many countries including Britain. I have never been to eastern Turkey so I don´t know enough about the situation there.

 

Really?

You mean white english scottish and welsh do force their daughters into marriage?

So far it is a Turkish problem because the initial post was saying so, plus Turkey itself is enough big source.

As you say you dont know much about the situation there, then what was your point? What input you wanted to add?

 

Im still curious about Turkish men´s opinions here.

 

elenagabriela liked this message
174.       lemon
1374 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 01:40 pm

 

Quoting stumpy

maybe lemon but it is a start, it has to start somewhere.

 

Stumpy, it has definetly a start. It started long before Canadians were Canadians

Open your mouth, they will shovel there the rights that Turkish women obtained before French (of which there is a huge pride).

Do you get my point? The laws can state anything, but the practise has in reality nothing to do with the law.

175.       elenagabriela
2040 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 01:44 pm

 

Quoting lemon

 

 

Do you get my point? The laws can state anything, but the practise has in reality nothing to do with the law.

 there is a quote in my country, it sounds like: do like the priest are saying not like the priest are doing{#emotions_dlg.angel}

 

176.       lemon
1374 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 01:49 pm

 

Quoting scalpel

I like wise posts trying to raise the discussion at higher level. Thank you, lemon But, unfortunately, it is useless since every discussion here is merely used as an opportunity (by some people of a certain group) to turn it into a personal attack on those who don´t agree with them. And those who should be the last people to complain about this, are always the first to cry out "I am attacked, I am attacked!" {#emotions_dlg.bigsmile}

Exactly! They are never tired of complaining and victimizing themselves!

Well, Scal, its always worth writing. If not you (and other Turks) who would?

Im on this site since 2006 and I havent seen many Turkish female members here. As if they got no voice.

So at least we would hear you.

I am calm now, but as soon as I imagine a little girl being traded like a sheep and sold to another man for marriage then my blood boils and if I had a gun I would shoot the culprints I think. Thats how I am, totally emotional.

 

 

177.       stumpy
638 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 02:05 pm

Quote:lemon

Open your mouth, they will shovel there the rights that Turkish women obtained before French

 

they have rights but if those women don´t do or say anything then it would be best to have their rights taken away in that case, don´t you think?

it starts with one voice and it will grow. This woe is me mentality is not the answer.

do you think those girls feel like they have support?  If they were to see that women to the west of them supported them and were willing to do something about it then they would surely feel like they could also do something and change things also

that is my point of view

 

178.       vineyards
1954 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 02:24 pm

Anyone with any amount of wisdom could realize you are not discussing anything. You are just playing an ego game which you must win. A sore loser; a proud winner, welcome to Peter Bruegel´s Children´s Games.

Quoting thehandsom

 

 

Now, you are playing the sore loser..

Anyway, I am out of here..

 

 

 

179.       scalpel
1472 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 02:53 pm

 

Quoting lemon

 

 

Lets ask Turkish users (Oeince, Vineyards, S--, The H, Armegon, Scalpel, Alpha aksakal). So far, none of them came up with any solution (point by point, black on white). This is their country, they live there with those girls side by side. The country is theirs, its all up to them. They know and understand the whole issue.

We, outsiders can endlessly talk and dispute, but thats all we can do. The only contribution of ours is our opinions. We tell these men what we think. They surely take our inputs into their dear consideration.

Thank you.

 

You all may remember this medical phrase: from diagnosis to therapy. This means we must identify the problem before we attempt to solve it. But it is not easy to identify the problem as it is more complicated than it appears to be.

To roughly outline the problem and the solution: The problem has both sociological and religious relevance which are more stronger than the effect of law.So no formalistic solution can solve such a problem as this unless supported by economic fundamentals. You also must expand the freedoms of the Kurdish people who are still living there under feudalism. But the government is not there to look after all of its citizens, but all they do is to sit on their fat ***es and give long, empty speeches on reform in the region. (and some here still trust the government!)

180.       si++
3785 posts
 08 Oct 2010 Fri 03:22 pm

 

Quoting lemon

 

 

If someone said this about me I wouldnt take an offence just because someone stated an opinion about me. Why? Because I am an adult and I can deal things like an adult.

Alameda did say things in the past and most of us know what beliefs and opinions she holds to. If DD or I give an opinion based on the posts in the past we know what we say because we personally took in many debates.

I keep to what I said: Alameda was not insulted but merely provoked.

However, it is some people´s here habbit or hobby to get offended and insulted by everything said and discussed. Really, just like a child.

 

BTW, Si--, thank you for your thread. Although Im curious of your own input on this never dying ever flaming problem. What kind of solutions do you see?

 

Oh limon,

 

I don´t see any solution to this problem in the near future, unfortunately. I think education would help but we should see many generations come and go.

 

How can you change the mentality from today to tomorrow? They see these girls something (a slave actually) to be sold. How many children would you yourself like to have? 2/3/4? These guys have more than 10 usually. I heard of a guy with 39 children from different wives. They are so shameless that they even apply to the State to demand poverty aid. They don´t work at all. They force their children do all the work (including begging in streets, collecting stuff from dust bins etc). The girls have no chance to get any education usually (why need such an effort since they are to be sold when they are 12 or above).

 

Also some time ago, I had posted an example of how they are sold here

 

BTW, I am curious why do you always turn si++ to si--?

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