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living together before marriage
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| 70. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 01:10 am |
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Quoting teaschip: Quoting aenigma x: Quoting teaschip: What the authors of the study did not expect to find, however, was that "those males who had cohabited displayed the most accepting views of rape." Previous studies have found that men typically cohabit because of the "convenience" of the relationship, whereas women cohabit with "the expectation that cohabitation will lead to marriage"-- thus creating a relationship in which men are likely to "hold a position of power" over women who expect much more from the relationship than they do. No wonder that "cohabiting couples report greater tension in the relationship" than do married couples.
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Teaschip - have you gone quite mad?  Is that really you, or has somebody taken your nickname??? It is a very antiquated idea that women are looking only for marriage!!! I lived with someone for 10 years and refused his offers of marriage(I am so glad I didn't now! haha!) but there was no tension and I would only have married to have children. |
Look at my original post this was a study that was conducted. I don't necessarily agree with it. I wrote my comments about how I feel personally, but I guess I should have commented on the article more directly. So please don't think I have gone mad. I must admit, I'm a little nuts but oh well.  |
Teaschip, it's your choice and opinion that living together before marriage isn't a good thing, but the things that were said in the article are extremely sexist and sound like complete scam.
Where was this article published and who wrote it?
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| 71. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 01:19 am |
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A couple of years ago I read a very similar article in Time or Newsweek, I can't remember. But the article stated that the divorce rate was much higher amongst couples that had lived together before marrying. Stats are readily available for those who really want to know and have a little time on their hands.
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| 72. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 01:27 am |
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Quoting Capoeira: A couple of years ago I read a very similar article in Time or Newsweek, I can't remember. But the article stated that the divorce rate was much higher amongst couples that had lived together before marrying. Stats are readily available for those who really want to know and have a little time on their hands. |
I am definitely inclined to believe this. I think that people who live before marriage may develop attitutes and behaviours that have lower expectations and standards and then they may project the same ways to the married relationship, which may lead to increased divorce ratios.
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| 73. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 01:56 am |
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I really can't understand all your comments here  . If you REALLY love someone, and you are both RIGHT for eachother, what difference does a marriage certificate make?
I think the only reason that your stats show that people who lived together were more likely to divorce, is because they had probably been together for too long and were not really right for eachother! If they thought marriage would resolve their problems, they were sadly mistaken and so ended up divorcing.
From my experience, I would say that men are just as more likely to want marriage as women. This view you have that all women are secretly harbouring a desire for marriage is ridiculous!
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| 74. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 02:07 am |
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Yes Aenigma, those ideas that women are dreaming of marriage is completely ridiculous.
The only comment I have about the divorce statistics is that it seems to me that marriage is not only about love, but also about responsibilities, adjusting your schedule to the other person's schedule and needs... etc. Those things are sometimes completely separate issues and have little to do with love. If people get used to more relaxed behaviours, it may be confusing and hard to understand why they must change it after the papers are signed. If people are mature enough and strongly care about each other, I suppose these issues can be solved, but I suppose not many poeple actually do.
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| 75. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 02:08 am |
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Guys,i'm sorry,but i have a question,it may sound naive,but i don't really know the answer.
For 2 people who are in love with each other,What is the different between marrige,and living together ?
Ok,i undestand,they see how well they can be together,if it works then ok,and if it doesn't then they leave each other.
But isn't that same as marrige too ?
İf they ok,they continue,if not they got the divorce ?
İs it idea of long formal steps in marrige,and divorce,but in living together its easier ?
İ mean i know someone had lived with his lover for 20 yrs,without marrige,and then they got separated.
İsn't this same like marrige but with no papers ?
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| 76. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 02:09 am |
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Quoting teaschip: So please don't think I have gone mad. I must admit, I'm a little nuts but oh well. |
Oh thank goodness Teachip! You must know by now, I can only really enjoy a good argument with people I respect  !
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| 77. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 02:11 am |
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Quoting catwoman: Yes Aenigma, those ideas that women are dreaming of marriage is completely ridiculous.
The only comment I have about the divorce statistics is that it seems to me that marriage is not only about love, but also about responsibilities, adjusting your schedule to the other person's schedule and needs... etc. Those things are sometimes completely separate issues and have little to do with love. If people get used to more relaxed behaviours, it may be confusing and hard to understand why they must change it after the papers are signed. If people are mature enough and strongly care about each other, I suppose these issues can be solved, but I suppose not many poeple actually do. |
+1 Catwoman. I meant this when I said "love eachother and are RIGHT for each other". You can love with passionate love but find you are completely wrong together in day to day living I think 
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| 78. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 02:12 am |
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Quoting CANLI: İsn't this same like marrige but with no papers ? |
Yes!
Goodnight Canli - I have to be awake at 6am  . Have fun classmates
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| 79. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 02:15 am |
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Quoting aenigma x:
Goodnight Canli - I have to be awake at 6am . Have fun classmates |
Goodnight aenigma ,
Take care Canım,sound cold out there.
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| 80. |
08 Nov 2006 Wed 02:39 am |
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Coming back to the tearm 'LIVING TOGETHER WITHOUT MARRYING... IN TURKIA', what happens if a couple has a baby without being married? Has this baby the same rights as if it was a baby borned in a married couple? I want to know about laws. Thanks.
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