General/Off-topic |
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Jokes and riddles
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| 290. |
25 Jan 2009 Sun 06:26 pm |
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An ode to all those who want to get on in life 
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here´s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And
K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing
Will take you.
A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
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| 291. |
25 Jan 2009 Sun 06:38 pm |
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In my language ´hardwork´ gives me 107% but ´knowledge´ only 70%!!! (So, as long as I work it doesn´t matter I´m bond once in a while....?) 
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| 292. |
25 Jan 2009 Sun 06:39 pm |
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In my language ´hardwork´ gives me 107% but ´knowledge´ only 70%!!! (So, as long as I work it doesn´t matter I´m bond once in a while....?)
Blond of course... (See, first evidence given....)
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| 293. |
25 Jan 2009 Sun 10:54 pm |
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Blond of course... (See, first evidence given....)
I love the bond version
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| 294. |
25 Jan 2009 Sun 10:57 pm |
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There are at least SEVEN types of ORGASM of a Man:
1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes..................
2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No....................
3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No....
4. The Traveler - Ahh, I´m coming, I´m coming..............
5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God........
6. The Userer - Ahh, More, More, More...............
7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you move, I´ll kill you....
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| 295. |
25 Jan 2009 Sun 11:09 pm |
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There are at least SEVEN types of ORGASM of a Man:
1. The Optimist - Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes..................
2. The Pessimist - Oh No, Oh No, Oh No....................
3. The Confused - Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No....
4. The Traveler - Ahh, I´m coming, I´m coming..............
5. The Religious - Oh God, Oh God........
6. The Userer - Ahh, More, More, More...............
7. The Murderer - Ahh, If you move, I´ll kill you....
Pity your gender is ´none´ - else I could have asked what type you are...
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| 296. |
25 Jan 2009 Sun 11:29 pm |
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Pity your gender is ´none´ - else I could have asked what type you are...
Apron´s string attached.......
oh mother,........
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| 297. |
26 Jan 2009 Mon 07:10 pm |
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how to find an ideal woman?4 tips
1.It is essential to find a woman who loves and can cook and her hobby is cleaning,dusting and ironing.
2.It is important to find a woman who earns well and can provide a man with money
3.It is vital to find a woman who can fullfil all your secretive dreams and desires
4.BUT the prior is that these three women do not know each other
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| 298. |
26 Jan 2009 Mon 07:41 pm |
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how to find an ideal woman?4 tips
1.It is essential to find a woman who loves and can cook and her hobby is cleaning,dusting and ironing.
2.It is important to find a woman who earns well and can provide a man with money
3.It is vital to find a woman who can fullfil all your secretive dreams and desires
4.BUT the prior is that these three women do not know each other
Why do we need to find ONE woman only?
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| 299. |
26 Jan 2009 Mon 07:46 pm |
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Why do we need to find ONE woman only?
who said that?Did you get the joke???
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| 300. |
26 Jan 2009 Mon 08:12 pm |
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who said that?Did you get the joke???
Yes H - please read the posts properly before responding!!
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