Oh so it was!  hahaha........ I saw Amsterdam and thought it must have been Dutch as well  

 Heheh - well I don´t think any other nationalities are much different when travelling either - maybe we are just the best at laughing at our faults eh?

SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.

TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people´s heads pop up over the walls to see what´s going on.
(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single Income, No Boyfriend And Desperate.

AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a ´black box´.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you´ve just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you´ve hit ´reply all´.


GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The ´no-stars´ comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there´s actually naught in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: ´Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!´.

MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you´re in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

TRAMP STAMP
Tattoo on a female

PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she´s got 4 buttocks

Especially for the Scarlet One!!

Lesley! - could you please make it clear that this joke was for me (to amuse me!) and not about me - your comment is a bit ambigiuous! 

(and reclaiming your position as Chief Sapýk since cynic ´left´ I´m pleased to see!!  )

 ok this was a joke about for LIR.... no gynecologists or dentists were injured in the making of this joke

A doctor that had been seeing an 80 year old woman for most
of her life finally retired.

At her next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring in a
list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes
grew wide as he realized she had a prescription for birth control.
´Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?´
´Yes, they help me sleep at night.´

´Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING
in these that could possibly help you sleep!´
She reached out and patted the young Doctor´s knee.

´Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind
one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my
16 year old granddaughter drinks. And believe
me, it helps me sleep at night.´

The doctor said, ´Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.´

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men´s clothing store and thought, ´That´s what I need... A new suit.´

He entered the shop and told the salesman, ´I´d like a new suit..´

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, ´Let´s see... size 44 long.´

Joe laughed, ´That´s right, how did you know?´

´Been in the business 60 years!´ the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ´How about a new shirt?´

Joe thought for a moment and then said, ´Sure.´

The salesman eyed Joe and said, ´Let´s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.´

Joe was surprised, ´That´s right, how did you know?´

´Been in the business 60 years.´

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, ´How about some new underwear?´

Joe thought for a moment and said, ´Sure.´

The salesman said, ´Let´s see..... size 36.

Joe laughed, ´Ah ha! I got you! I´ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.´

The salesman shook his head, ´You can´t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.´



New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

 Poor man!

 It´s not true Trudy!

 
A very pretty young speech  therapist was getting nowhere with her
Stammerers´ Action  group. She had tried every technique in the book
without the  slightest success.

Finally, thoroughly exasperated, she said "If any of you  can tell me the
name of the town where you were born, without  stuttering, I will have
wild and passionate sex with you until your  muscles ache and your eyes
water. So, who wants to go first  ?"

The Englishman piped up.  "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-irmingham", he said.

"That´s no use, Trevor" said the  speech therapist, "Who´s next ?"

The Scotsman raised his hand and  blurted out "P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-aisley".

That´s no  better. There´ll be no sex for you, I´m afraid,  Hamish.

How about you, Paddy  ?

The Irishman took a deep breath and eventually blurted out  " London ".

Brilliant, Paddy! said the speech therapist and immediately set about
living up to her promise.

After 15 minutes of exceptionally  steamy sex, the couple paused for
breath and Paddy said....

....."-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-erry".