Dear Christine,
Death is death every where,its same,but the difference here is people respond to it
As you can tell,Türk are emotional people,well comparing to Westerns i mean
So you can guess how would they respond,it would be very devastating
They would cry,and cry loud too,and maybe more 'even they shouldn't'
But usually men hide their feelings a bit in this part,but they feel same inside,some of them show it,and personally i guess that is better for them,and some hide it,and that is the hard thing
Another thing,by now,i guess you maybe understand family ties are very strong there
And to a son, father is more than just a father,he is an old friend too,which he can take advice and share with him,along with being a father too
So i am afraid that is going to be strong
My advice,that you stick beside your man, and be patient,he would be very stressed now,and he really need a shoulder to run to it,even he he may not ask
So he might be a bit nervous,and a bit angry,mad
You understand all of those,specially from what i read you are a teacher,its his anger from the situation,so you really need to have patient,and let him feel you are there with him no matter what
And if it happen'ALLAH Forbidden'he would need your shoulders to cry on,and i hope you manage to make him bring out his sorrow,which would be really great
Last advice,and sry that was long one
You said the are conservative Muslims
We have a believe in İslam,that is when a person dies,nothing anyone can do will help him there,except his good work,but his good work ofcourse will end when he pass,i mean he cann't make more good works,so he won't be benefit from it,except from 3 things are very useful for a died person
A good son, would keep praying for him son'kids,not meant only son,a daughter or even people who loves him'
A good work keep on going under his name,
And.... i don't remember the third thing
İ will ask and tell you
But as long as he has a good and he pray for him,this prayers will be helpful to him
Another thing,if you can do something good,useful to people,in his name
Anyone got a benefit from this thing,he will be rewarded for it
Example to make myself clear,
İf for instant,you give money regularly to a poor people,in his name,he will have the benefit from it there
İf you make a free water supply in the street,for thirsty people to drink from it,with each one he use it,the died person will have benefit of it,even he already died
Even if you plant a tree,as long as it is alive,he will continue to have benefit out of it
So mainly,you can see people while visiting the graves,they bring some plants and try to grow it there,or bring some plants which can live a long while
And so on...
Ohhh,and another thing,you can cry ofcourse,but better not cry with a high sound 'it shouldn't' because it could hurt the died person,he died yes,but they still can feel us
And mostly,when they put him in the grave yard,they stay with him for a while,maybe hour or more,its better for him too,and read Quran there,well not just better,but very very good to do this tho
İ hope that would be useful to you,if i remembered something else,i would tell you,and please feel free to ask
Hope ALLAH be with him and support him,and all his family ,amin
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