Selam,

I*ve just beeen in a funeral and I was wondering how is it in Turkey.. pls tell me and I'll b happy (: I'm really curious about it, as well as about turkish weddings..

I haven't seen a funeral since a very long time, but here is how it goes from my experience:

- The body of the dead person is washed in a mosque.

- It is put in a white cloth that completely wraps and covers it (kefen).

- Body in th ekefen is carried to the graveyard, in a coffin. A funeral procession walks and people take turns carrying the coffin.

- There is a special prayer for the dead person led by the priest (imam). This is performed in the graveyard, or in a mosque before coming here. The priest asks the crowd after the prayer, "What kind of a person was he-she?" and the crowd answers "We knew him-her to be good". Priest asks, "Do you forgive him-her about the issues with you?" and the crowd answers "Yes"

- Then, the coffin is taken to the grave and the body is buried in the kefen without the coffin. People close to the dead person throw the first pieces of soil into the grave and then the body is completely buried.

- Praying is very important. People pray for the soul of the dead person during the whole event and after. The graves are visited mostly on the bayram's eve days - twice a year. Of course, there is no restriction on how often you do this.

About weddings, I can give a better description after a month or so, I will see a wedding in Turkey soon

Sorry for such question, but I keep on wondering what do they do with the coffin after the body is buried, if it is burried without a coffin?

Coffin is not something you buy, it is rented and used just for carrying the body in 'kefen'. After the funeral, it is used for other people.

hocam, yanlis bilgi..
kefen oluyle beraber gomulur... kefen baskalari icin tekrar kullanilmaz..
tabut baskalari icin kullanilir..

I didn't mean to say that kefen is reused (kefen is the white cloth the body is completely covered with). The body is buried covered with the kefen. The 'coffin' (tabut in Turkish) is reused. I think I was not clear enough

Although I agree with admin, we should wind up this kefen-coffin disagreement with a Nasreddin Hodja's joke. Let's read and smile.

WHERE TO GO
The people asked the Hodja,
Dear Hodja, tell us, where should we go in a funeral procession, in front, at the back, or at the side?
The Hodja answered, It doesn't matter where you go, as long as you don't go in the coffin.

i was wrong sorry

My sister (english) got married to her Turkish boyfriend in Antalya 2 weeks ago. We had a multi-cultural wedding to incorporate both English and Turkish custom but from our experience the following:-

Actual ceremony was very quick. The registrar comes and writes the details into the book of marriages and then leaves very quickly (he was with us for 15 minutes only). The rings were tied together with red ribbon which was cut by my father. Gifts were also given to the bride with red ribbon tied to them. After signing the book, we had pictures with all families. We then had some food and fruit to celebrate which ended with some turkish dancing. During the dancing the ribbon from the rings was cut into small peices and given to the unmarried guests. After this time, money was pinned to my sisters wedding dress and the groom paid my family for my sister (I hear this is traditional).

It was a lovely ceremony and not too different to weddings we have here in England. I look forward to another one!

Let me invite some of you to one of Turkish Wedding central Anatolia.We have really different weddings.All parts of Turkey have their own way to celebrate.I suggest you,if possible,pls watch Düğün TV or come immediately Turkey just to see one of wedding.Its fantastic

I was invited to a turkish wedding in Malatya. It was fantastic ceremony for a thousend guests. Firs everybody came to Dugun Salonu. When everybody took their seats, bride and groom came and stood in the middle. Then musicians started to play. The bride and the groom started to dans. After that they took their seats in a special place in a corner of the salon. Then guest started to dance but not everybody; it was in order I didnt't know exactly,but I remember there were for example only elder men
or women etc. There were drums and live band, it was really great. Guests were dancing turkish dances. Much later guests were giving bride things made of gold such as brancelets and coins (Ataturk) an money.
Every evening I was out in Malatya I heard drums and I knew it was a wedding nearbySometimes four weddings one evening.

so.. they do all of that for a dead guy?? no offence... i dont mean that really...hehe

i think learning about different ways groups of people do this sort of thing is very interesting... i know that in england when u die... (speaking from xperience! )... they fix the dead person's hair and give them a make over... :S whats the point of that..??? i suppose they give them a paracetomol for the journey too haha

i have some pictures of turkish wedding but i am interested more to the turkish bath....lol

I too am interested in what happens in the Turkish Baths - can anyone tell please?

let me quote this from a site :

Bride's Bath (Gelin Hamami)
For the bride's visit to the hamam there was a distinctive costume for cold days, a vest and pair of loose trousers (the "shalvar") made of fine felt cloth. This gift from the family of the groom would be worn going to and coming back home from the bath on that special day of the marriage.

Another item of wear, again worn on the day of the bride's visit to the hamam, was a silken robe, open at the front and much like the Japanese kimono. The collar, the sleeves, and the front borders were all embroidered. In this ornate robe, the bride would sit on a kind of throne in the tepidarium of the bath, and the candles would be picked up by maidens and young women. The bride leading the way, the procession would march behind a woman beating a tambourine, around the hamam pool. Soon the voices of the maidens and young women would be heard in song as, candles in hand still burning, they did the circuit of the pool again and again. At some point the bridal veil would be produced to cover the bride's head, and then came the wishing, as unmarried girls tossed coins into the pool in hopes of getting the husband they desired. Even today these deeply rooted customs can be observed in the rituals of the Turkish bath.
A head covering of sheer white muslin, its edges bordered with "oya" crochet work, also emerges from the bundle. A woman will have several of these to her name. They are tied over the hair before leaving the hamam, to take up any remaining moisture.
In the towns, as opposed to the cities, there was a specially shaped carrier called a "kirdanlik" which word might perhaps be rendered "the grime-time bucket". Into it went soap, washcloths, clogs, and the pouring bowl, while the hamam bundle went on top. On reaching the bath this carrier would be used as a pail to work up sudsy water of bathing. This kirdanlik was also used in the men's bath.
The Turkish bath was also, in its own way, a beautician's school where one learned and practiced care of the body and hair, the donning of make-up. And it was here that women, kept almost exclusively indoors, could best relax and enjoy the freedom of a day to themselves.
The fame of The Turkish bath, then, resides in its bringing together many dimensions of the society's culture to create a new phenomenon. The hamam has long been an institution in Turkey, with a deep-going social character that is capable of shedding light on many aspects of Turkish life.

Thanx ishtar7 - that is very interesting.

Boop ....and before....u'll have a henna night...- or is it after the hammam ?

Is that where the women paint their hands and feet with henna- or is it just the bride - and is ıt paınted on other parts of the body too?