Welcome
Login:   Pass:     Register - Forgot Password - Resend Activation

Turkish Class Forums / Travelling to Turkey

Travelling to Turkey

Add reply to this discussion
Moderators: libralady, sonunda
WOMEN TRAVELERS IN TURKEY – TO SMILE OR NOT TO SMILE?
(62 Messages in 7 pages - View all)
1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7
50.       raindrops
267 posts
 13 Feb 2010 Sat 12:25 am

 

Quoting Sabina11

So if I decide to travel to Istanbul on my own (having decent knowledge of Turkish), I better change my mind???{#emotions_dlg.unsure}

 

not at all - you will have marvelous trip if plan it in advance: where to go, what to see etc

it is safe due to my own experience. just having friend next to you is always more fun

though, from other hand, you behave more careful when on your own )

but it is safe anyway

51.       Yersu
241 posts
 13 Feb 2010 Sat 02:38 am

 

Quoting foka

 

 

 i totally agree with this note...mostly in my life i try to smile, its not going im in poland, in turkey or in france...nowhere i hadnt any problems beacuse im smilling.

Of course i cant say i didnt hear stupid comments about it, but always in my minds i repeat to myself..." if ppl dont like when you smilling so its not your problem "

lets stay on it

and sending to all of you BIG SMILE

 

Dear foka; smiling is a gesture, a form of communication. When communicating; it isn´t about what you are trying to tell, lt´s about what the other party understands. When you say "Ana", a girls name, A Turkish person will hear "mother", and a Japanese person will hear "hole". Russians used to kiss on the lips for greeting, do you think that would be appropriate behaviour in, say USA?

 

Yeah I am somewhat exaggarating, I too think there is nothing wrong with smiling. However when surrounded by people who may think that is an "inviting" behaviour, I would rather be on the safe side.

 

52.       turkaturk
143 posts
 13 Feb 2010 Sat 09:14 am

.



Edited (2/13/2010) by turkaturk
Edited (2/13/2010) by turkaturk
Edited (9/2/2010) by turkaturk

53.       Trudy
7887 posts
 13 Feb 2010 Sat 09:56 am

 

Quoting Yersu

 

 

Dear foka; smiling is a gesture, a form of communication. When communicating; it isn´t about what you are trying to tell, lt´s about what the other party understands. When you say "Ana", a girls name, A Turkish person will hear "mother", and a Japanese person will hear "hole". Russians used to kiss on the lips for greeting, do you think that would be appropriate behaviour in, say USA?

 

Yeah I am somewhat exaggarating, I too think there is nothing wrong with smiling. However when surrounded by people who may think that is an "inviting" behaviour, I would rather be on the safe side.

 

 

I cannot stop myself smiling when walking around and seeing people, smiling is indeed one of my cultural based behaviours. Still, having read as well the link Slavica gave in the opening post and after having a few less pleasant experiences I have to say that in some places I´m more careful. At places as bazaars or markets or other crowded areas I don´t smile instantly but I try to ´check´ other people´s intentions first. BTW, not only in Turkey but in some places in Turkey as well. 

54.       turkaturk
143 posts
 13 Feb 2010 Sat 11:45 am

.

 

 



Edited (9/2/2010) by turkaturk

55.       barba_mama
1629 posts
 13 Feb 2010 Sat 12:21 pm

I already notice a difference when I speak to the American workers in my office (an office in Holland) There eye-contact is much more direct, and sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. In my cold-cloggy land direct eye contact seems to last a bit shorter then it does in the U.S.

 

Anyway, in Turkey I give a shy smile sometimes when I need something. Just like I do in Holland I can get more done in Holland with my smile then in Turkey... stupid Turkish men don´t even stop for me when I want to cross the road... and in Holland I just have to flash a sad look, and then a shining smile to cross the street.

 

In Turkey I do watch what I say more. In Holland it is easier for me to be "just friends" with a guy. There´s nothing weird in going to the cinema with only your male friend. In Turkey this seems a bit harder. So, for example, I wouldn´t invite a guy to something alone.

 

But smiling... I don´t limit my smiles. I have more comments in Turkey that I don´t smile enough, then guys thinking I "want them" when I do smile. Especially when my language was even more limited then it is now, a smile could do wonders. How else do you say "thank you" without being able to say the words?

56.       ptaszek
440 posts
 15 Feb 2010 Mon 01:24 am

i do smile and giggle and burst into laughing out of control.And I haven´t noticed so far that my smiling attitude put me ever in trouble of misunderstanding.Ppl who know me think I am happy with life not implying much in underlayer of such attitude,and believe me even smiling to strangers,i mean men in Turkey,never brought anything evil in return..opposite...smiling combined with speaking Turkish as my friend says "You have incredible gift to soften Turks with your smile and Turkish"is worth recommending))

57.       barkindo
22 posts
 16 Feb 2010 Tue 11:07 am

Not to smile too much, dress conservatively and not be too familiar is probably the best, though rather crude advice that one can give to a female traveller in any muslim country.It does make travelling rather dire, though.

 The reality is slightly different.  I used to wear full islamic dress and for reasons of my own i am now wearing western clothes, including mini skirts, also being blonde and European, i do not look any different now than any holiday maker.  I was worried at first how i would be treated by men, and i was pleasantly surprised that their behaviour towards me has hardly changed.

 However , when travelling with other, non-muslim women they kept getting into awkward sitations, while i would stand at the back  and watch in quiet amusement. When this happened again and again we tried to analyse the reasons.  It was not a matter of attraction,from a distance  men would look at or after me as much as my friends, but in my dealings with them there would be a subtle shift in demeanor.

 My friends who watched me said, i would talk to a man, smile and immediately look down, and gently back away if he tried to step closer.  i would never make eye contact after the initial encounter and of course, avoid any touching including shaking hands.

  i never had problems smiling, or being friendly, even for hours in a taxi. But i would not initate a conversation that could in any way be misinterpreted as having anything than a polite interest.  And of course, in the company of a man, i would conduct all business through him and keep my eyes from wandering the room.

 I have always found Turkish men very formal and polite, though very romantic if given half a chance. After a year of marriage my husband will still ask politely: "May i please go to sleep now?´  I have always wondered what he would do if i said no to any of his reqests. 

  i believe we are so sexually charged in the west, that we are sending subtle signals all the time, whether we are aware of it or not.. Sensitive men will react to them more strongly than men who are so desensitised by the daily barrage of sex.  Stop sending these signals, and you will have fun, and be fine!

 

 

58.       barba_mama
1629 posts
 16 Feb 2010 Tue 11:03 pm

Well, there´s Turkey and there´s Turkey. I more ´traditional´ areas it can already be called provocative to walk past a bunch of men, instead of putting your husband on the side of the men so that you yourself have a "buffer" protection yourself.

A smile is fine in any case, I think. But staring deep into somebody´s eyes, winking, fliring, flashing your eye-lashes and such is not the same as smiling.

59.       raindrops
267 posts
 16 Feb 2010 Tue 11:45 pm

 

Quoting barba_mama

Well, there´s Turkey and there´s Turkey. I more ´traditional´ areas it can already be called provocative to walk past a bunch of men, instead of putting your husband on the side of the men so that you yourself have a "buffer" protection yourself.

A smile is fine in any case, I think. But staring deep into somebody´s eyes, winking, fliring, flashing your eye-lashes and such is not the same as smiling.

 

it is more about what is behind the smile. smiles differ. there women who always find troubles. there are some who are just friendly. both smile, but get different result.

60.       Tom_Brosnahan
1 posts
 19 Feb 2010 Fri 06:58 pm

I´m the guy who wrote the text (quoted from my website, TurkeyTravelPlanner.com, back in 2005) that kicked off this discussion:

 

http://www.turkeytravelplanner.com/details/WomenTravelers/index.html

 

The text was written on the basis of 42+ years´ personal experience in Turkey, from conversations with foreign women in Turkey, and from reports from readers of my Frommer´s and Lonely Planet guidebooks. It was written to bridge cross-cultural differences, and to help women to enjoy their time in Turkey.

 

This forum discussion has been fascinating, and has covered a lot of ground. I re-read my text, and I stand by it: it is highly positive about the experiences of foreign women traveling in Turkey, yet it provides useful guidance for how to avoid misunderstanding and unpleasantness.

 

Turkey today is far, far different from the rather isolated country I first visited in 1967, a time when it was very difficult for Turks to travel outside of Turkey. Many Turks whom foreign visitors may meet have now studied, lived and/or worked in other countries, speak other languages, and are used to other cultures. This reduces the chance for cross-cultural misunderstanding.

 

But Turkey is a big country of 72 million people. Out of tourism areas (as several form participants have indicated), the possibility of misunderstanding may be more common, so it´s good to be prepared with knowledge of local and traditional culture.

 

From my long career of writing about Turkey, I´ve found that first-time foreign visitors comment most on three topics:

 

1. The friendliness of the Turkish people—this is always No. 1!

 

2. The beauty and interest of the country: "I had no idea..."

 

3. The delicious food. (I told them that!)

 

Tom Brosnahan

(62 Messages in 7 pages - View all)
1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7
Add reply to this discussion




Turkish Dictionary
Turkish Chat
Open mini chat
New in Forums
TLC servers hacked, all user emails & pass...
admin: We removed the user password data from the servers until the issue is ...
E-T: It´s one of the things on my bu...
gokuyum: No. It doesnt make sense. You can say ... yapmak istediğim bi...
T-E
og2009: DÜNYA TOPLUMU VE FELSEFE ... okul ... felsefe ... ....
Holidays in Turkey
: ...
24 HOUR FLASH SALE for learning Turkish e-...
qdemir: ...
Grammar Textbook
qdemir: ...
E-T: I see you have done this before?
harp00n: Bunu ... daha önce de ... Bu konuda iyi olduğun ç...
T-E
og2009: ...
T-E
og2009: ...
coronavirus
og2009: ...
OUR FRIENDS
og2009: ...
Coronavirus
harp00n: ...
Random Pictures of Turkey
Add thumbnails like this to your site
Most liked