Anyway, I won´t linger in the Boyfriends and Lipstick thread - just wanted to say my piece

thanks for it anyway

Dumping is when one of you unexpectedly ends it. Usually it suggests without warning or discussion- it´s just suddenly over.

As an expat living here, I think I understand your question about Turkish men! It´s a little different to dating at home .....you only have to read the translation requests to see how it differs

This is a generalisation of course but nevertheless a common pattern my colleagues and  friends have found:

You meet ( it´s instant and intense!), he writes very romantic messages/emails declaring his overwhelming feelings, he calls constantly, he´s attentive and adoring- for about a month. Then nothing. No explanation. No contact.

He simply doesn´t call again. This is better known as being ´dumped.´

We´re used to discussing or arguing if we break up, so it´s a bit of a shock.

This has been much discussed over girls- wine- nights!

Turkish men are lovely and this is certainly not always the case- it just happens quite a lot.

From my own and others experiences as well,  one has to be careful not just with some turkish men but with any man who says "I love you" very soon. Sometimes the men who really love us are the ones who never tell that they love us.

 Yes, maybe some confusion with love and lust

What a life in turkey !  i was afraid of it , now .it confused me , i willing to live in turkey with my bf , but i still felt  some afraid of the very kind of life ...

 life here is pretty interesting, you just need to be sure about your deccision and open to all new  

 Nothing to be afraid of! Turkish men really like women- they get a little carried away perhaps, but people here are very warm and friendly. It´s an amazing country- a little like Asia, a little like Europe- if you have the chance to live here, you should be very excited!

In Canada and US beeing dumped means the same thing as beeing put to garbage, geting rid of something or someone embarassing or very bad. its a very negative word. braking up is softer, its ending a relation ´correctly´. another use we have in canada for dumping is sending someone to jail. the dictionnary says a dump is where trash is sent...that shows by itself the meaning.

about turks, i think some european and american girls get very excited about ´warm blooded´ man, its not something they are used to, on the other side i think some of those man know it and take advantage of those girls, but i dont think this description suits for all man and woman.

The original question about how Turkish men dump their girl friends doesn´t have a proper answer that applies to men of all ages, income groups or subcultural identities. Nevertheless, if we can narrow down the question and rephrase it like this :

How does a teenager who strictlly observes Turkish ways and traditions part with his girl friend?

Then I can say that most boys tend to be possesive in relations and vice versa. They like to control the other party as much as they can. They tend to be jealous and especially if they are conservative as well, they have problems opening up to each other and frequently run into problems with their families. Families being a part of the relationship with parents trying to control their offsprings´ affairs  problems and crises of all sorts are usually inevitable. Families can be restrictive especially if one of the lovers belongs to a different sociocultural level, income group, a sect (e.g. Alevite) or a race (e.g. Kurdish). Of the last two, sectarian awareness has always been a problem and the last one has become more problematic lately. In addition to personal, behavioural differences, there are a host of other factors determining the health of relationship.

When such relationships end, they usually end with a fight. Personality disorders are extremely rampant.  Predictably, people having dysfunctions of all sorts can´t maintain healthy relationships.

The attitude of most Turkish boys towards foreign girls is another story. I have personally observed many youngsters adopting an opportunistic attitude when getting into a relationship with a foreigner. Especially people who migrated to the big city in the hope of making it big here get frustrated by their poor lives and look to get a girl friend whom they regard as a stepping stone.  These people don´t pay any attention to the feelings of the foreign girl whom they have trapped. They usually dump them as soon as their need for such a relationship ends.

Unfortunately, part of this happens because these self centered people don´t even consider those poor girls as human beings. To them they are like the stars in the sky. They do not belong to their world so their feelings can be ignored. Plus, of course we must take into account the negative view certain conservative believers have about foreign women and foreign people in general.

Nevertheless, it is not possible to apply this to every single person in this relatively narrow group. It is just something that we see in this country. Problems of other kinds can be seen in all countries.