Sorry I keep forgetting

Hmmmm, I am important and have spent a little time in Turkey - am I Turkish?

 Yes!!!  Didn´t you receive your "Welcome to Turkishness" package in the mail?  It would have included a several instruction manuals including, "Responses to insults to Turkishness", "How to fend off Evil Western Women (you would have gotten the female version...."Keeping your Man!"), "Baklava is TURKISH and don´t forget it," and finally, "Everyone is a little Turkish."

I will send you another package if you need it, dear...but don´t loose it again! 

I´m having an indentity crisis...

I have a bit of Jew in me, but I wasn´t saved yet... even though I have spend loads of time in Turkey! So I thought, maybe I´m a Turk now...that´s why I´m not being taken to safety... but I haven´t received my "mussaka is Turkish, and gyros is kebab in disguise" package either!

So... what the bleep am I...

I can´t be Western European, since I don´t feel a great hatred towards minarets...

 you definitely need an appointment with AlphaF Turkish guru lab....don´t eat and get rid of all poison from blood,we will see if there are any vacant dates to deal with your case...but patience needed the lab is working 24/7!

We didn´t have a welcoming committee back then Lis!  Unless thehandsome sent this out, I doubt it.

 These are brand new manuals!  I will have the my people send your people the upgraded package.  It will include the "Truth about World Cuisine - Everything is REALLY Turkish", "Asia -  It´s Really Turkey in Disguise", "Atilla the Hun and the West´s Evil Plan to Make Him Look BED!" and finally, "Let´s talk Turkey - a guide to Meeting your New Turkish Family." (if you do not have a Turkish family, one will be sent to you in the package).  Enjoy!