so sofar we have:
- indulge myself in the turkish culture
- dress in a suit when meeting the parents
- speak either dutch or english with my girl in fron of her parents
- try to pronounciate religious terms correctly
- when presenting a gift make sure it is not to radical for the parents such as chocolats
- make no mention of children
- and finally make no plans to live in pakistan

thank you guys so far if anybody else has any more suggestions that would greatly be appreciated.

as for aproaching your man's parents, i think it is very important indeed to show respect and your humbleness. you can do this by kissing the hand and putting it on your forehead but also by being shy and modest. lowering ones gaze when speaking to an elderly is a good example. and dressing concervativly.
learning tukish and learning more about the culture is afcourse the best suggestion i can make.

maybe this will help you.

when i was in high school i used to tutor my girl in english, so everyday i would go over to her house. this was during the period that me and my girl had just gotten together. so i would always be at my best behaviour showing my best qualities. then one day her familly came over unannounced while i was tutoring her. now i knew that in the turkish culture it is considered odd for a guy to be sitting alone with a teenage daughter so i quickly suggested that i should take her to the local library instead and continue there. you should have seen the look on her mothers face when she heard me, because she did not know how to ask me to leave, in fear of me not understanding the turkish social norms. so by showing her familly that i did understand i have made a lasting good impression and i am sure you will find your way of making yours. ohh and one more thing it also helps if you know the general geografie of turkey and a little about it's history such as who was Ata Turk and about the Ottoman Empire. this will help you understand participate in a lot of conversations.

Hello Amin,
I am an Indian lady and will be marrying a Turkish man in december. Let me tell you one thing about your query. Tell your girl to try and find out what her parents think about Turkish-pakiestani marriage. I took a rough opinion of my parents before introducing them to my man. I am from a Hindu family. SO u see? how difficult it was for me? Amin, parents will always be worried about their children. My man came to India with me. He is a Lieutenant Commander in Turkish navy, so we had to adjust the timing according to his leave. It was very sudden thing for us. He tried to convince my parents but no way my parents agreed. Now my family dont want to do anything with me.
I really wish you well. Try everything possiblye. Just be yourself. My man dressed in a red full shirt and black pant. But his alarming military personality and sharp talking send so many messgaes that day. Now my parents know that their sensitive daughter is marrying a headstrong navy officer but they also know that it will be difficult for me to adjust in Turkish society. He is a non believer and he told them that he himself never go to mosque or prayers so he wont force me too but you being from pakistan originally, you must be knowing the concept of izzat of family etc.etc.
Keep us posted and excuse me for a long reply. I hope it helps you. Just be yourself.

i will keep you updated as things progress thanks for all your input keep it comming